Jay1

nah.... it is very mild for anxiety, maybe even placebo honestly, you'd get 1000% more relief from a glass of wine

I've read about implants to control brain activity, so that part is true, at least. Scary stuff... But maybe not as scary as looking into the mirror at myself for 10 seconds and only seeing a pair of eyes and a bunch of garbled up hallucinations.

He didn't go into too much detail.... Like i said, this is a seed of an idea and he needs to check quite a few things before we even give it any further thought, i made the post more out of interest about how people would react to such an offer (i was shocked at the suggestion, but i'm not gonna dismiss it... i'd cut of my own leg to get rid of this shit).... he said that the operations they currently do are to reduce activity in very specific areas of the brain, targeted by the weeks of testing. I raised the usual concerns about brain surgery and he didn't seem to think the risk was high, but said i would need to spend time talking it over with the surgeons. Maybe you know more than me, but i didn't think there was nearly enough data out there to say, categorically, that HPPD is "system-wide"? re: Phenobarital.... I don't use it much... just 200mg for panic attacks (i find it works better than benzos) and also as a mild anti anxiety med when i have my occasional 2-3 weeks off Klonopin

Today, i went to see my neuro. We went through the usual.... talked meds etc.... I told him i was done experimenting... I'll take my klonpins and phenobartital, when the occasion is required... otherwise i will battle through. I told him i don't think there is any pharmaceutical cure. Maybe out of this chat, he could sense my frustration and told me that in Lisbon, they are on the cutting edge of treating epilepsy with brain surgery. He is positive there is a link with my problem and that the right area could potentially be targeted and treated (i would have to do weeks in hospital prior.... MRI, qEEG etc). Obviously, this would take a huge amount of thinking... weighing up the pros and cons. As of now, it is just the seed of an idea and he has to chat with other neuros and also find out is i am eligible for paid treatment (as a non Portuguese resident). If they found the right area to target.... Would you guys do it? Have any of your neuros ever even considered the option? Bearing in mind that I have had this for 17 or so years, all of my adult life.... I think i would probably take the risk.... I think the weeks in MRIs, qEEGs etc actually scares me more.

I think VS is the worst of my visual symptoms..... DP/DR and anxiety are, by far, the worst of my overall symptoms.... Whether one causes the other, i'm not sure.... But you do get used to the visuals, as shit as they are. "Better than being blind" is my philosophy. Careful if you get onto anxiety meds, especially benzos.... It is not a sustainable long term treatment. Go check out the benzo board to see how long some of our members have been trying to get off that stuff.... Used occasionally, they have merit though.

I studied it long and hard... and from everything i read... the myth surrounding it is far worse than the reality. It's a fairly mild trip with very few hallucinations..... unless you go way over the top, and then you will be violently sick and purge yourself. the schemes of scotland need at least a few cans of tenants super before they start to look picturesque.

Yea, i tried it........ all the way up to about 1/2 the recommended dose to trip on. Didn't affect my visuals in any way.... but i do remember having a change in my thought patterns (for the better) ... i went for a long cliff top walk around the local beaches and it was a really good, serene day..... I had lots of energy and had a good, positive outlook. But that might have just been the fact that i spent the day walking around a beautiful place! It's not something i would recommend for anyone with hppd.... I might just have been extremely lucky and dodged a bullet. Perhaps if you are a long termer, like me, who has kind of gotten used to this life and can deal with spikes... it could be worth a look, just be very careful with your dosage. That is not a recommendation to do it though. The energy and positive outlook i got, i could have equally got with a glass of wine on such a nice day out.

I think i have the opposite problem.... The inner voice just wont be quiet and it sometimes feels way out of my control.

I'm sure you can find a way to do it without them finding out.... the doctor certainly can't tell them and if you use your mobile/cell phone for appointments, you should be fine. If you live in a very small town, where people gossip, maybe you could travel to the nearest city?

The prices are sick..... Better putting that money towards finding a good doctor

Not been through it, so can't offer any advice... but wanted to say good luck. Hope this next stage isn't too bad for you

i remember we discussed a hppd online dating site on the old board loveat1stfuckedupsight.com

Considering the hppd ratio seems to be 99% men.... You're gonna have to very lucky... or start batting for the other team

haha...married now, so had to use the little black book for something else

I just checked my records and i have taken it. It works pretty well for sleep.... but i had to stop taking it as it gave me hellish restless leg syndrome (something it is supposed to treat!) Give it a go if you're having problems sleeping... it does work and the antidepressant qualities might help.... I stuck it out for about a month and didn't get any of the anxiety and problems i would get with an SSRI.

edit - sorry i posted about tramadol

not sure... i don't see him often any more as he lives in Cambridge. He was on lithium when he was first sectioned way back in '95 or '96 .......He was part of our rave crew, so i imagine the drugs played a huge role in his illness.

yea, that's the stuff..... my balls are churning now

I think the whole "if you think you're crazy... You're not" is a bit too black and white. My friend is severaly bi-polar.... Sure, some of his manic episodes, he doesn't know what he is doing. But he is still severely mentally ill when he is inbetween or on a down and he knows it, understands it and it hurts him mentally and psychically... just like hppd does for us. There are many, many shades to mental illness.

yea, it is vicious. Feels like my brain is poisoned. But you are right, battling it makes us stronger people. It is a shame all the fighting and inner strength just about brings us back to "functioning".

Perception disturbances might be a better way to look at it. I couldn't care less about my visual/sensory issues.... It is the dp/dr that is the killer, and is the middle ground between sane and psychotic, imho.

is it me or does she need a shave?

If it happens once a month, fair enough.... but i'm talking about doing stuff every day. Usually just stupid stuff like getting my cats names wrong or calling my wife one of the cats names (ahaha)....

thanks mate... i agree with you. i do a fair bit of exercise, but it is easy to slack off in the winter. Time to get back on it!

i've had strong dp/dr for about 17 years now, but this has only started happening over the last couple of years. Maybe i forgot forgetting things though!