Hi, you wont get any lectures here. A lot of us were also doing drugs in their teens. I had some symptoms when i was 14.
I think the best thing you can do right now is be completely honest with the people trying to help you. Parents, doctors, teachers... Anyone who is looking out for you. Tell them about the drugs, the clonazepam, about HPPD. Explain to them that you are being honest with them because you are suicidal and desperately need help. You should not get in trouble for that.
Please keep fighting and feel free to DM me if you want one to one help. I can even try to help explain it to your parents if you want.
Btw - I am now 46, have lived with HPPD for decades, but have also lived an interesting life... Travelled the world, had businesses, I am married, have great friends etc etc... I can't promise you will get better, but I can say that you can make a life worth living, even with this illness.
Stay strong, Jay