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  1. Welcome. You dosed quite recently and the after shocks of a experience can linger. Give yourself some time. I'd also suggest you stop using drugs, at least for a while. You mentioned that you've done "hard" drugs infrequently (did i get that right?). However, the cannabis today is POWERFUL. Give it a rest for a while to see how you're doing. Also, don't panic! Try not to attribute every anomaly to hppd. I'm not a doctor, but at this point you symptoms sound relatively mild. I realize that they don't seem mild to you, but understand that hppd can be a debilitating condition. I'm not
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  2. I’m glad you’re alright!! Also while I’m sorry the anxiety has driven you to learn so much, I can’t say I’m disappointed there is someone out there without hppd who can spread awareness. I'm sure whatever you end up doing for work you will tackle with a ferocity
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  3. haha, yea... been an interesting month, for sure!
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  4. you’re totally right about my anxiety brought me to this forum, which i stalked RELENTLESSLY for WEEKS before posting lmao. weed was a bit stronger for me after i tripped but i DO attribute this to being worried about hppd because i was 100% okay until i started worrying about hppd and then my heart would race a little. the thing is i study mental health which is why i think i’ve held onto hppd so tightly. as for never doing hallucinogens again, that’s a strong no for me. it was cool and all but i now know the dangers and my anxiety is WAYYY too high for that lmao. ive
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  5. Hey all, I'm the journalist who was looking for interview subjects last month. The article has, at long last, been published. Among other details, my article features a history of HPPD that stretches back to the 19th-century; several real-life case studies; discussions of HPPD's link to psychosis, alcohol abuse and suicide; and what the condition may mean for the promise of future psychedelic research. You can read it on The Independent here: https://www.independent.co.uk/independentpremium/long-reads/netflix-good-bad-trip-lsd-psychedelics-never-wears-off-a9533136.html It's beh
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  6. Hi Justan— I just want to add that the brain is highly plastic at your age I know it sounds really dumb when “adults” say you shouldn’t drink and do drugs until a certain age but that is because your brain is actually still developing hahah. What adults should add, after that, is if you wait to do these things until your brain has cemented a bit, you will have a more enjoyable experience with substances over the whole of your life, and more likely (and most importantly to me) a greater baseline happiness. do you have hppd? No one here can tell for certain if you have or are s
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  7. Nah, i don't think you have hppd. Like you say, the spikes are astigmatism, which is fairly common. I don't think it's a bad idea to limit your drinking and smoking for a while though anyway... I think the idea of hppd is gonna play on your mind every time you smoke, so probably not worth that added anxiety/stress.
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  8. Truly something I worry about every time I post on here about anything. But, and I mean no disrespect —this is a super valid fear and concern— that line of thinking leaves us without a message board. We’re not doctors, nor do we understand the etiology of this disorder (it always feels like it’s not enough to say disorder. What word do you use when half of you is ripped away?). There are a lot of things that have helped me that hurt others and vice versa. I’ve taken things on this website that others have had “no response” to that sent me into hell. And I’ve sent others into hell who
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  9. Seems this forum is really quiet nowadays. I used to live on this forum in my early years and through long arduous flair ups with HPPD. Seems like it has been a life time, maybe 2006 I guess.. Started on the stormloader HPPD board or right after when the new forum was started I can't remember. I think there was another one or two after that were lost. I was sad about that, there was tons to read on those boards. Anyways, not sure if anyone is still around but just thought I would drop a line and wish everyone a happy holiday!
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  10. When I was in benzo withdrawal, cbd didn’t agree with me. Recently, my friend also stated as much. I have recently written a little bit on the site about my experience with cannabinoids in states of kindling from gaba drugs. While not in kindling I am fine. When I am in kindling all of them induce panic. at the moment, I am taking in very small amounts of cannabinoids. I think it’s very much a ymmv kind of thing as I’ve taken a gram in a day before and recently had periods where I couldn’t tolerate it at all. I suggest that if it worsens your symptoms and doesn’t feel good,
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  11. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27046518/#:~:text=Glial cells such as microglia,to the extrasynaptic NMDA receptor. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnmol.2018.00414/full https://www.nature.com/articles/npp2016199 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666354619300353 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0197018613000363 https://www.mdpi.com/2073-4409/8/2/184/htm Just posting these for future reference and reading. It would appear that there is a possibility of glial cell dysfunction leading to increased levels of glutama
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  12. Most people to be completely honest, are highly unintelligent. They literally have no idea what's going on with you, they just see the surface of what you are going through. The same thing happened with me. It taught me one thing though, you can only truly rely on one person to help you, and that's what I do every day. Its harsh, but I guess that's how this place is, society focusses so much on smiling photos, fairytale movie endings, and glittering christmas lights, its hard to remember that there is a great deal of suffering on earth, and what people really should be focusing on is the remed
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  13. I stopped taking it but not sure why. Don't remember any adverse reaction... May have just been the amount of inositol becomes a bit of a pain... 3/4 table spoons for each dose, iirc. Might give it another go, as my chest pain is well and truly back.
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  14. I’m sorry to hear you are suffering. It is a very tough road we are on. I promise you, however, there is absolutely hope. I experience a lot of good days and feelings today that I never dreamed possible. And I have taken more hallucinogens and drugs than I think most people would dream. Really pushed the envelope. I even huffed a bunch of air duster as a kid lol. it sounds like someone you rely on abandoned you? If so I’m sending you love. I know that sometimes doesn’t mean much when you are where you are. I have had similar experiences with people too. Those who took on my pain
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  15. Indeed I often found conflicting information, especially when dealing with anecdotal reports. I always just erred on the side of caution when my hppd was in its acute phase. even in scientific research, there is a lot of bias. Wish it were otherwise. Best of luck in your research
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  16. Be careful with high doses of Lemon Balm as it can be hallucinogenic (I dont remember how much is a high dose tbh) Bacopa should be sourced well to avoid toxic metal exposure. As a plant, it pulls these out of the soil, so if your bacopa is being sourced from less agricultural responsible third world countries, this can be a problem. There is almost no oversight or testing in the supplement business that is enforced.
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  17. Seems you certainly have VSS. I wouldn't say you have hppd, but the drugs are aggravating your "natural" vss symptoms a bit. Good that you don't have DPDR and sounds like it doesn't cause you any anxiety. My advice is pretty simple, enjoy life and leave drugs behind. You are likely to be prone to getting hppd and dpdr/anxiety, it's just not worth it.
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  18. Hi, First I'd visit a Doctor to rule out other possibilities, just to be safe. If you do have HPPD, there isn't a cure per-se, but there are ways of managing it, and if you search the forum you'll find accounts of people who've had it go away over time, and others that claim success with specific treatments and techniques. Minimizing stress, focusing on things you enjoy doing that aren't too visually stimulating, have a good diet, get proper vitamin intake, and obviously stay away from all drugs. IMO, Clonazepam is the best medication for HPPD, with the most research backing it
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  19. UPDATE: I am 90% better objectively. All symptoms have reduced heavily. The only thing that helped me recovery was time, absence off drugs, and doing new hobbies (neurogensis). This is not a joke. I had serious hppd a year ago, as all can see from my panicked replies.
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  20. Hey Jay, I agree there is no doubt a path and correlated target... I've also done the static YouTube video test multiple times and seen short-lived success.
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  21. (Already posted this in a separate thread but thought I'd repost here since I consider this my official and perhaps final recovery post) Hello everyone, Just wanted to post another update about my recovery... May 8 was my official five-year anniversary of getting HPPD. I can't even begin to describe how transformative and painful the last five years of my life have been. I almost can't even believe I'm still alive. HPPD is unlike anything I've ever experienced or anything I could even imagine experiencing. It's truly an otherworldly disorder I wouldn't wish on any living creat
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  22. Hey guys. Just thought i'd have a little bit of fun with this one as it's not often that I look back on events that have taken place in my life and laugh - as is usually the case with me they're typically a little bit too "out there" for them to be funny, but in reality they are quite hilarious. Anyways, this happened about back in may of this year (2018) So I had been admitted into a psychiatric facility here in Alberta, after my parents deemed that my mental health and substance abuse issues were not matters that I could take into my own hands anymore. So I go to the psychiatr
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  23. I have these symptoms as well. I think, perhaps in part, it may be interrelated with DP/DR, as I find I also have a general lack of environmental/spatial awareness at all times, which doesn't seem to be related to visual symptoms, but rather as if not every part of the picture is registering in to my consciousness. Perhaps improved spatial awareness will also help build a stronger sense of direction; this is something I find severely lacking when transporting myself. In any case, it does seem to hold more merit than merely micromanaging neurotransmitters/receptors. As for 7,8-DHF; it should b
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  24. This post has been promoted to an article
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