brendan

yeh it does look feckin miserable - but it does have a happy ending! It basically describes depression using churchill's black dog metaphor (or did it exist before him?) then says it is worth getting help.

funnily enough i had thought of that. Without scrolling through tens of pages of google, all i could find were basically bulk imports from china or stuff that comes in testaforce. Nothing in sensible consumer quantities.

i would be a bit more confident about trying those lithium supps. A theoretical concern of long term use problems isnt going to be relevant for one bottle's worth, and i doubt you will get anywhere near an overdose, unless you intend to take 18 tablets at once like the muppet in DSK's extract.

awful website - i'm too impatient to read through all that waffle. What does it say?

i think it has something to do with subconcious resistance to experience. Bit like 3rdtour says. I think this is how you get ptsd too. If you are able to give up control and still feel grounded then maybe you wont get hppd. I think head pressure may be a symptom of internalising control. Dunno if i'm making much sense.

it's not so desperate as to start injecting growth hormone! It's just an observation that indicates that perhaps i am fucking myself up a bit by trying to control hppd symptoms. It may just be uva damage and laughter damage, in which case nothing to be concerned about except perhaps skin cancer. But if i am doing systemic degradation then it is more of a concern. I dont have dry skin, I'm not too hardcore on low carbing - loads of veg, a little fruit, plus acetyl cysteine supplementation so plenty antioxidants. I also take quite high doses of vitamin d (5000iu per day) which i find makes me more awake, but this too is implicated in accelerated ageing: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0960076009000144

it depends on the character of the doc. I've had dismissive ones who say its psychological, but you get ones who say, 'well i've never heard of it, but i can't see any harm in trying some keppra out on you'. They might be more cautious about prescribing benzos. Keep trying till you find a doc who will work with you. The worst bits of hppd for me (vertigo/anxiety and brain fog) i manage myself very effectively with cheap supplements (acetyl cysteine being the main one, but also magnesium and high dose vit d. High dose b vits seem to help a bit too.) Dont need a doc for these.

gene switches are reverseable. Studies (see the thread i linked to) show that lsd alters gene expression as part of its mechanism of intoxication, but those alterations normally reset themselves. I dont know why they would be less reversable in us than in non-hppders, but then you could ask the same for any postulated mechanism.

http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/680-dna-methylationepigenetics/

my money is on altered gene expression

Just something for keto dieters to consider... Since low-carbing, i notice i have started to age quite rapidly. It is possible this is just what happens in early thirties, especially when i've always worked outside so got a lot of uva damage plus general abuse from fags, booze and probably some metabolic disfunction that gives me brain-fog that is cleared by detox/antioxidant supps. Also, loosing weight may also make the skin a bit saggier. However, i am concerned that my low-carb (tho not strictly keto) diet may be adding to degeneration rather than restraining it. As i will be nearly 50 in 15 years time (being 20 doesnt seem so long ago, but 50 is psychologically a long way off, tho in reality it is close and so now is time to start planning for a healthy old age). While low blood sugar, insulin and triglycerides that come with keto diet should reduce ageing, ketosis seems to create large amounts of methylglyoxal, which attacks proteins very strongly hence adding to ageing. Also, foods that are high in fat and protein, especially if fried or roasted, are high in advanced glycation end products which are implicated in ageing. here's a blog post saying ketosis increases ageing: http://healthcorrelator.blogspot.co.uk/2010/03/ketosis-methylglyoxal-and-accelerated.html here's one saying it reduces aging: http://www.ketogenic-diet-resource.com/aging-process.html Maybe if you get benefits from keto, it may be worth supplementing with glycation inhibitors like thiamine and benfotiamine (an oil-soluble form of thiamine), resveratrol etc. And eating more boiled/poached/raw foods rather than fried/baked/roasted.

any contact with establishment medicine, from specialists to general practitioners, has been entirely unknowledgeable. The best to hope for is someone unknowledgeable who is willing to work with you to find some meds that work for you. I've also seen a few complementary medicals in my time who have always taken my story at face value but worse than not knowing, make up that they know what has happened (you can imagine the type of thing - from stored toxicity to holes in auras). Not knocking complementary stuff totally - i think there may well be something going on with chi etc, but i really want science to discover what it is so it can be brought within the usual scientific discipline rather than the preserve of traditional cultural protocols which attract wooly minded hippy practitioners, or scammers willling to take advantage of wooly minded hippy clients.

I dont think its placebo since i discovered the effect before i knew of its promise (same thing happened with acetyl cysteine which i took for hangover not as a brain fog cure which it turned out to be) - i looked up whether the effect was known only after i had noticed it. I just wondered whether it was just one of those things (ie i just had a really good kip for no discernable reason) or if it might have been due to the thiamine or herbal tea i had also started drinking (nettle and gingko - tried this tea on its own but had no sleep effect so discounted it). It could still be one of those things and may not be repeated, but thought i would share it now even if it might be a bit premature. I tried half the original dose last night and maybe had a little effect but nothing i would notice if i hadnt been looking. I'll try full dose again tonight and risk getting whinged at for smelling of beef. I have also tried taking multivits, and tried higher dose b vit supps without noticeable effects. The doses i am using in this experiment are huge -nearly 3 orders higher than the rda, so may be getting a more pharmaceutical effect rather than just nutritional (i also notice some positive effects of d3, b6 and b12 in megadose). The dose that i took when i had the sleep effect was a 1ml scoop, so probably a little less than a gram. The rda is 1.4mg according to wikipedia: "The RDA in most countries is set at about 1.4 mg. However, tests on female volunteers at daily doses of about 50 mg have claimed an increase in mental acuity.[15] There are no reports available of adverse effects from consumption of excess thiamine by ingestion of food and supplements. Because the data is inadequate for a quantitative risk assessment, no Tolerable Upper Intake Level (UL) can be derived for thiamine."

in experimenting with thiamine, i didnt really notice much benefit, but for two days after taking about a gram i had really relaxed, long mellow sleeps. Looking at google, this seems to be noticed by other people too. But my wife complained i smelled like bovril. Will experiment with lower doses. I bought a bag of cheap thiamine powder off ebay uk.

the article suggests shock proteins are protective tho, unless i read it wrong.

looks like a lazy eye or cast eye. I think you correct it by wearing a patch over one of the eyes.

But generally, it seems this is one aspect of hppd that a lot of people recover from to a large degree.

i recognise everything here, but i am so much better than i was. It was like your mouth was a pipe and if there was more than one way of saying something then all possible permutations would try and squeeze out of the pipe and get stuck so it came out a bit jumbled. I also thought i had a hearing problem - but my hearing sense is fine but understanding goes if hard to follow or background noise. A freind who was a confident talker took lsd and ended up with hppd - he would sit quietly in the corner with a thesaurus in his pocket and would sit there looking at it, working out what he would have said if he could remember the word. May help to get a job where you have to talk to the general public. I have to and i think it helps as you have to say basically the same thing so not too demanding but do have to explain yourself to a wide variety of people, tho my speech starts to go when i'm tired.

i guess doughtnut maculopathy is a lot rarer than the other diseases listed - keep on drinkin.

mg - the less cumbersome glycine form is sarcosine (methyl glycine) but i cant find anyone who sells it in uk except in overpriced Testaforce. I asked Bulk Powders to look into supplying it. Glycine is cheap and sweet so eating by the spoonful isnt too hard, but can't say so far that it is a life-changer.

yeah, it is personal. My current list of fun is acetyl cysteine (not l-cysteine which is poorly metabolised), high dose vit d (5000iu per day), magnesium, and am currently trying vit k2 and glycine with unspectacular results. Piracetam and gingko didnt do much for me but are good for others. I've got some v high dose vit b12 and b6 (bought for my wife when getting morning sickness) and seems to perk me up a bit. Best for me is acetyl cysteine tho - totally killed my anxiety and brain fog with lasting effects. I also take msm and fish oil but that is more cos i am paranoid about my joints but they do nothing for my hppd. Strangely, acetyl carnitine and cinnamon both make me depressed.

i'm in uk btw

cant find any sarcosine to buy except in testaforce which seems a bit overpriced if sarcosine is as cheap as you say (aspartic acid that is also in testaforce is cheap too, tho maybe the more soluble calcium aspartate they use is more expensive but i doubt it.)

best you can hope for is a doc that knows nothing but is comfortable with knowing nothing (as proper scientists should be) and is happy to work with you and let you take the lead in your treatment. I had a doc who knew literally fuck all but was happy to give me some keppra as it wasnt going to do me any harm. He was more cautious about trying naltrexone. Sadly he was locum so he#s not around any more so i have to go back to the doc lottery if i want to try anything (other docs have been less co-operative). Flunarazine is something i would like to try but cant really be arsed. If you are rich and intersted in complementary stuff there is a Steiner medical centre in Tonbridge Kent specialising in brain stuff: http://www.raphaelmedicalcentre.co.uk