etardnow

iirc i think odisa had some positive results using tdcs but it is temporary(with usage)

I dont think it should be so easily dismissed as a "normal" thing. For the past month or two now, any symptom that i come across is, "when in doubt, its hppd" I was pretty self-aware well before hppd so i know when something is a new phenomenon. I too have ear symptoms, its not thunder like but i do have tinnitus, and a mild constant pressure difference in ears and it crackles a bit every time i swallow. I don't know why but it is my opinion that the ear is very well affected in hppd.

if you really need that relief sensation, a vaporizer/ecig can help imo. much much healthier too

^dont smoke. dont do it. its so hard to quit. even with that panic attack you had from your only 2nd cigarette, youre already probably thinking that its worth another try. once a week--> every other day--> everyday--> every meal --> every few hours etc etc. its a money/health waster. thats how addicting it is.

have you taken some journal/articles of keppra and hppd when talking to your psych? it will probably help you a lot in getting that keppra if you havent tried. Also i agree with your psych in that not caring about it is the way to go. 3 month ago, i thought i was on my way to accepting hppd and being able to cope well with it. looking back, no fucking way, i was in an extreme hell hole. im much better now but when i look back, i cant believe i was thinking that i was coping well at the time. I can only hope i get that feeling again when im looking at this point in time 3 month from now and so on. I still think about hppd everyday, its hard not to when every light source and the extreme lifestyle change itself is a constant reminder but i feel like im slowly 'getting over it'.... at worst im pushing it off and might have an emotional crash that i can recover from but for the time being im doing better than before. It feels like, "oh i have hppd that sucks but life goes on." We are basically dwelling on our past. I mean there are people out that have gone blind, have chronic pain, and here i am obsessing over visual distortions. of course dp/dr has a different role in effecting us but i think obsession of visuals has a big role in dp/dr as well and we should try to focus away from it. going to school has helped me with mine. the fake it till you make it is kind of the approach i am forced to take. Even now i rather stay home and just be on the computer than go outside and look at all the extra visual distortions but if it shouldnt really matter that much. is starbursting lights going to effect the quality of something mundane such as dinner? it will if i think about it and feel sad for myself and possibly trail on to thinking about dp/dr but if i just ignore it, it doesnt. Its easier said than done because having hppd is basically "thinking" about hppd all the time but it can be tuned out and with enough practice, it will become easier to do. i understand that severe hppd cases are much harder to tune out and ignore but even then, so what if my rice is floating around and morphing; it doesnt change the taste, the people im eating with, etc etc. i remember reading about a post of how one person purposely fed their anxiety and dp/dr and let it go crazy and go super deep and at that moment of extreme intensity, it made them realize that it means nothing, eventually 'curing' themselves of it. "face your fears" sorta thing. just throwing it out there. Even at your deepest moment of anxiety/dp/dr, from another person's eyes, your just there being normal. amazing.

have you ever tried any medications at all? supplements are our natural antidotes and meds can provide temporary relief if its too much. even with like benzos, if it works, a couple days every other week or few looks like it can be a great relief from having it for 24 years. also taking care of overall health is beneficial regardless of hppd or not. - exercise, healthy diet, hydration, etc.

^ i do. please dont tell me you've had it for 24 years... oh god

Hey odysseus, great to hear on your significant recovery/cure. if you dont mind could you be a bit more specific on your recovery? 11 years of hppd I cant even imagine. What was the timeline of your symptoms like? Did you ever at a point in time notice that your symptoms were improving daily/weekly/monthly or were they so minutely gradual that you couldn't notice them improving until you realize that it was less intense then a year ago etc. Did you ever have tinnitus and is that gone as well? Did you have starbursting/halos/floaters and recovered from that as well? I dont know why but i have this belief that existing vision distortions ex/ distion of light --> starbursting, floaters, halos, the harder it will be for it to go away versus things like fractals, geometrics, cevs. maybe its vice versa. thoughts? Are the visuals actually 100% gone or is it more close to the 90%+ gone range? Although you say that your remission of symptoms were irrelevant to medication you took, do you mind listing some of them? What is the last medicine you took before getting cured? timeframe wise? I mean with things like keppra it takes 3 month of to see some effects in some people, i can only hope that some medicines have that effect and is an actual cure? :\ ha. Thanks for reinforcing hope in many of us. Hopefully you get the last of the brain problems cured.

existential anxiety perhaps? also the feeling that everything in your visual field is profound and cant understand the why you are existing that the moment and space in time and what purpose of life is?

if only we knew..... lol we dont even know exactly why/how some meds work on dopamine receptors. we can only derive from our reactions to meds like risperidone which worsen many hppd-ers and is a dopamine antagonist. its also commonly known that adderal can worsen our hppd. adderal is we also know that much of our symptoms are similar and linked to dopamine disease/disorders like parkinsons and etc. a lot of our symptoms are linked to dopamine deficiency imo. just search dopamine in the forums and read the posts. even just searching dopamine deficiency symptoms on google produces results that match up some of our symptoms.

yea a few push ups can give me some relief but its always there to a degree.

any source of contrasts will have a ghosting image for me like digital clocks, street lights, even my mouse pointer on a black screen , etc but its not really noticeable at all during the day since everything is bright (low contrast). digital clocks and leds will always have it though. manipulating my eyes can change the ghosting a bit. trails i dont really have a problem with. the only time ill notice it is at night when i am playing around with my cellphone with the lights off. I guess trails are an extension of after images which i have but doesnt even last 1second so not really a problem. negative after images from headlights can be annoying but manageable.

about 2 month ago, (4month into hppd), i had extreme dry eyes. My eyes would hurt all day and it hurt the most when I woke up. I noticed that i also sleep with my eyes a lil bit open. (didnt have this before). Fortunately, the dry eyes went away by itself after a few weeks to a month. artificial tear drops helped a bit but the relief was really short. i have theorys but they are just random connections i try to make lol. 1 is our ability to produce tears or the composition of the fluid in our eyes have changed due to hppd also to do with eyes, I recently started to experience a single pulse of pain, (i think eye muscle) few times throughout the day. i think i have more red eye veins now.

usually only noticable on high contrast objects. 100% noticeable on LEDs, street lights, moons. With street lights, when i first had hppd, it was maybe 1-4 ghosting images on each direction. now there are so many. The picture from the 2nd post of this thread accurately describes it. But now there is even more than that so it just looks like a halo. http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/2170-double-vision-ghost-image/

Same with me. I had remaining popcorn ceiling visual after shroom/lsd but i still smoked weed daily (didnt know about hppd). I had to stop smoking due to a 'vacation' overseas. After arriving overseas, for about a month i had physical symptoms ranging from general weakness to new moles,cherry angiomas, etc. I was later prescribed some anti-dopamine meds for the random physical aches here and there. Lo and behold it coincided with the development of new visual symptoms of starbursting, halo, ghosting, etc and it progressed to worsen from there for a few month. (now in my 6th month). My theory is that I 'contracted' hppd with LSD but my daily weed smoking was keeping it under control due to feeding my brain dopamine from the weed. The stopping of weed combined with the reduced ability of producing natural dopamine/hppd started random physical symptoms. Then taking dopamine antagonist meds fucked it up even more.

starbursting, halos, and halo static , and ghosting images are whats worsening for me. im 6month in hppd now and i cant say its really stopped worsening. The first 3 month progressed hard but the next few it was slow but definitely worsening. popcorn ceiling might be improving a little bit but i cant say for sure. It might have to do with the fact that it was only noticeable when i looked for it to begin with and now ive stopped looking for it as much. Maybe by looking for it less, im subconsciously allowing my brain to forget how to see it. with light induced symptoms, obviously this is hard to avoid noticing it. but a new symptom 1-2week is i get eye muscle pain. I think its the eye muscle. it basically pulses once with pain and then doesnt happen for a while. it occurs quite a few times throughout the day

Yep, i have this. I dont think its really due to anxiety because When I have mild anxiety I know it is anxiety. But even the anxiety i blame it on an over-active brain which is basically somewhat our understanding of hppd. I've had 2 instances of mild anxiety since hppd and it really is random. both times it lasted about 2-3 weeks. If you think about it, if benzos help our visual symptoms of hppd AND anxiety, just maybe, its possible that our hppd-ed brain causes visuals AND anxiety as a over-excited brain problem rather than our a sub/conscious worrying type of anxiety. Recently, for about a month, I feel that my body always needs stretching, kind of like ive had a glass of wine. Wooshka, what makes you ask about forearms? because i think that is one of the more noticable areas with this sensation. When I lie down to sleep, i do notice and feel that my body kind of wants to fidget, like its about to start shaking. This sensation is sort of helped if i lay on my side vs. laying flat on the back. I think it helps because the weight sensation of laying on side helps to mask it. When I take a nap and only from naps vs. night sleep, I get INTERNAL(never actually shaking) shakes when I wake up. I also feel really shitty(fuck life kind of shitty) for the first few minutes of waking up from a nap. Another thing related to nerves are electrical zap sensations i get it once a day or two. It basically feels like, you know those clicker lighters, if you disassemble one you can zap your self with the clicker, yea that feeling. Since ive rambled about some of the symptoms ive had, a new recent one ive had for about a month now is pressure in ears. Everytime i swallow it kind of crackles but i can never relieve it through the classical blow on blocked nose method. Also feels like the upper mouth/nose area is stuffy. anyone else get this? I had high blood pressure but only when i had the head pressure and anxiety at the onset of hppd. It was at 140/?? (i forget) but my recent measure was 110 ish. I was prescribed xanax 0.125mg and propranolol but i decided against meds so i cant tell you about the effects. the two times ive taken only xanax, it didnt really have any noticable effect. probably due to the low dosage.

Do you see it on a white wall? how about looking at it in the dark? my visual snow is usually only and best noticeable when looking a blank wall in a dark room.

I too used popcorn ceiling remaining after shrooms/LSD. I also noticed that letters kind of float around very mildly like the popcorn ceiling effect. I thought it was afterglow and part of the lifestyle, didnt even know about hppd at this time and although when i asked my friends if they had any 'afterglow', i shouldve taken their NO as a warning/etc. It was only about 2 month later that so many new symptoms of hppd surfaced and this was during a time of no drug use....except for some medication that i believe it might have allowed it to surface. I believe what you have is very mild hppd and you should be careful now with substances/meds. I wish i was smart enough to do some research when the only thing i had was remaining popcorn ceiling/letter floating effects. GL.

source is of caffeine content is generic google sources, the top links give about the same number.

hey brake when you say "overall well being", im guessing that doesnt include an improvement in visuals?

FYI: 25mg of caffeine in 8oz (236ml) of green tea. 95mg of caffeine in 8oz (236ml) of coffee.

Two theories i have on this. 1. The small amout of caffeine in tea is just the right amount of stimulant for better blood circulation/activity. 2. L-theanine in the tea. Some hppders report bad experience with it while others report helpful. Like most meds for hppders, hit or miss depending on the individual i suppose. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theanine key points include While structurally related to the excitatory neurotransmitter glutamate, theanine only has weak affinity for the glutamate receptor on postsynaptic cells.[19] Rather, its primary effect seems to increase the overall level of the brain inhibitory transmitterGABA.[citation needed] Theanine also increases brain dopamine levels and has a low affinity for AMPA, kainate, and NMDA receptors.[20] Its effect on serotonin is still a matter of debate in the scientific community, with studies showing increases and decreases in brain serotonin levels using similar experimental protocols. "in theory" it could counter our excited hppd brain with inhibiting action? as well as Another shitty theory that ive just come up with. If hppd is the development of new neural pathways and coherence of existing networks into new pathways resulting in HPPD noise, its possible that l-theanine might strengthen/promote/protect thes new pathways resulting in a worsening of our hppd; could be the reason why some hppders report bad experience with l-theanine. thoughts? With that said, though its been 6month since i 'drank' caffeine(except for chocolates here and there), coincidentally, i had green tea today and didnt feel anything and i was even observing for my body to respond. I was always immune to caffeine and even when hppd was starting and i didnt know about hppd i drank caffeine and experienced no ill effects iirc, but thats not gonna encourage me to star caffeine again. I find it cool how relevant everything becomes on this forum. "drinks green tea for the first time in month; a post about how green tea helped someone" hmmmmm.

Interesting that you mention macular degeneration In the morning when I first wake up, i see a grid on the ceiling like the one below. I think its a cosmic color like an after image type but it only lasts a minute or two when i first wake up. In macular degeneration, its considered http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metamorphopsia but I dont think your supposed to 'hallucinate' the lines.... lol BUT I also recently started to notice a pink hue in my vision, usually only noticeable when i look at something white, even then still a bit hard. its a symptom of macular edema but This is a post i googled and the response from a doctor was that: http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Eye-Care/Seeing-pink-tint-in-the-morning/show/1232186 this could very well be the case for me because i suspected shitty blood circulation to be a symptom of hppd since the beginning and maybe even the cause??? I for one did a transcranial doppler at the development of hppd and the results were mild narrowing of vein/artery or whatever resulting in increased velocity of bloodflow. But this was when i head headpressure which i rarely get now so i dont know if i still have that or whatever....... i also easily get orthostatic hypotension which supports the poor blood circulation theory. as well as easy soreness.... thoughts?