andrewcb

Hello, my story is posted on here probably a few times, but here it goes again and it’s a short one. So I was once heavily involved with drugs. Like heavily. It was a short period, maybe 2 years at most. But within that 2 years I cramped more in there than 99% of people do in life times. If I was to average my daily intake of drugs when I was at my worst it would be something like this; 1-2g of weed a day .5-1g of meth a day .5-1g a day 8 xoxo a day 60mg hydros a day a pack of smokes a day maybe 12 bears a day if you were to average it. But clearly it was more like 30 beers a day for 2 days each day smoking a gram of weed and half a g of meth while doing a tiner or so of coke. Would take 8 xoxo at a time and then dabble with lsd or mushrooms. This would be a trend for 3-5 days with 3-4 days “off” which just means lowering my intake and not using others like cream and coke. Xoxo and weed was daily. one day during a binge, maybe only my 2nd day in. I probably hammered down 30 beers by then, smoked 2 grams of weed, no coke or meth but a ton of xoxo like maybe 14. I just took another xoxo, drank a beer and then took a huge rip of some hash. went to the living room and next thing I knew was I just couldn’t comprehend anything. I literally had to communicate to my buddy that I wasn’t right by circling my fingers around my head signing I was fucking crazy. My head was thumping, I have periods of lost memory, I couldn’t walk, talk or do much really. All I remember was laying down telling myself “I’m going to the fucking insane asylum tomorrow.” Like this has been one of the most impactful moments of my life. I didn’t learn from it for awhile but it’s effects started right away regardless. I woke up the next day, flying out of my body like I could see down on myself for a second and boom, nothing was real anymore. The world was spinning or I was. I just felt insane for the longest. like I knew it was just in my head but the feeling which also includes visually feeling if you understand what I mean, was just telling me nothing is real. it’s like my eyes and brain don’t agree with each other is the best way to explain it. There’s a physical and emotional aspect to it of course but the visual is always there regardless. well back to that night, now 12 or some old years ago. I’ve had many theories and what not but not to long ago my uncle had a stroke. I was told how he acted and it didn’t click with me then. then now I’m searching up memory loss because I’m having huge swathes of memory loss and just sort of realizing it. Which is weird because some of it is coming back in pieces. So looking into this memory crap I look into strokes. I remember what happened to my uncle, read the signs for a stroke and bam I had a flashback to it. Its a brain stroke, I definitely felt like my brain was going to bust that night. I lost all my functions and was just a meat bag for a night. So I feel pretty sure a stroke caused this which is sort of scary as I also have been having heart problems. living with derealization is literally living a ptsd every second of every day. Those who have my experience knows this. ive also found it easier to have ptsd or ptsd like symptoms very easily after that on something as losing/quitting a job. it’s not like I was just normally stressed or depressed. This weighted me down for years and still does. It’s a visual event that goes off in my head that causes even more stress and anxiety. like my brain is constantly in fear mode or panic mode or if it isn’t the switch can be flipped. That’s basically normal anxiety the way it sounds which it is but it has its own tune. those of you who can relate can relate, those of you who can’t, can at least know you’re not the only fucked up on. any thoughts on a brain stroke causing this? Thanks, Andrew

Hey all, Has anyone used Dihexa? I am getting 2 grams of NSI-189 and thinking about throwing some Dihexa in there. Trying to improve memory and focus even if it's just a little bit. Thanks, Andrew

No, you can just use the Temazepam. Sinemet just helps with the restless legs at night and neither should worsen your symptoms.

One of Sinemets uses is for RLS.

Hey, .25 isn't much at all really and I am not sure if they will even require you to taper. A common dose is 2-4mgs but not too rare to find someone on 6-8mg. You could always rotate between Phenibut and Klonopin with a few days off each week. Try Kratom too and if you like that you can just rotate between the 3 each week with a day off each week from everything to avoid any real tolerance.

Seen my psychiatrist today and he had no problem prescribing me Parnate. We got to talking and he brought up Keppra. I told him I have actually heard of Keppra(from here ofc) and it is something I want to try. He said give it a month on the Parnate and if I would like we can add Keppra. I also brought up memantine and he liked the idea as well but we will see. So we will see how this Parnate trial goes, I am hoping it doesn't make my dp/dr any worse than what it is and then hopefully in a month will be able to try Keppra. Any thoughts on this stack?

Temazepam and sinemet.

See a psychiatrist Monday and plan on trying to get on a maoi. He is a older psy. and have seen him before and feel pretty confident he will prescribe a maoi but who knows. Think a maoi could worsen symptoms? I also plan on asking for memantine too.

What dosage of memantine were you on? Did you ever get a chance to triturate up to like 20mg? Yeah the reason I was worried about it worsening my dp/dr is because it is a dissociative, I really don't want to reverse any progress I have made on my dp/dr lol. Also, I have used LDN, 4.5mg naltrexone. Sadly it did nothing for me. But in all fairness I was addicted to opioids for a long time and even went through a year on Subutex so I am obviously not going to be the best responder to Naltrexone with all the downregulation I have been through. Naltrexone is not a controlled substance and can be purchased online legally. FWIW, Subutex and other opioids such as hydrocodone and oxycontin did help my dp/dr out tremendously. I could see how Naltrexone could help with dp/dr if you have never abused opioids before. From my understand Naltrexone temporarily blocks opioid receptors which is why you want to take it at night and when the Naltrexone starts to detach from these receptors the receptors become super sensitive to your natural opioids. It also suppose to cause a temporary upregulation in opioid receptors. Hope that helps!

Something I have been wanting to try but am afraid it will make my dp/dr worse. Any thought on this?

Try mixing in some Afobazole. I have read people say it lowered their tolerance to benzos which would mean you could easily lower your dose. People are also unreliable and could manage to get high off sugar pills so who knows if it really works. I was on 45mg valium for 2 years and one day just jumped off. I got Gabapentin about a week after jumping off and it helped me at the time greatly. My opinion is the taper is the easiest part, you can get down all the way to .25 no problem. It is making that final jump that is the ass kicker. Get a game plan, if you fuck it up once just start off where you were and continue as best as you can. Just know you will eventually have to make that jump which is the hard part.

Ahhh Ergots, brought to you by the creator of LSD. Got some questions but I have to go. Will post when I come back!

"I can not get rid completely of DP/DR, I'm having a minor trip-like surrealness every second of every day. However, I'm quite used to by now, how weird it might sound.." This^^^^^ It is like I would have to be hypnotized to think this is how life is suppose to be if I ever wanted it to go away. It will never just "poof" go away. Dp/dr has become a part of me now and is here to stay, best way to deal with it is to learn to live with it.

Well my Tofisopam came in the other day and the first day I dosed a bunch of it and it wasn't to bad. The following day I took some Galantamine at night which was the first time in a few months and when I woke up I took my usual supplements but added 250mg of phenylpiracetam and the Tofisopam and for the remaining of my day which happened to be a 12 hour work day I had extreme brain fog. Like I couldn't do anything, was just constantly forgetting to do the most simplest of things and just felt off. Dp/dr got pretty bad and some of the negative effects seem to be lingering around today. Not sure what caused it but I am thinking it was the combination of everything and more specifically the Selegiline/phenylpiracetam/Tofisopam combination. Giving it a break today and tomorrow and will try the Tofisopam again Monday. Am cutting the Selegiline out of my routine(have been on it for 3 months or so already anyways).

Did you ever try the seroquel?