Jay1

yea, plenty of geometric shapes.... much like when I used to push hard on my eyes, when I were a kid. Since I stupidly did salvia a couple of years ago... the shapes have become much more pronounced. I have two distinct field of view now... real life and the acid world.

I'd love another trip on a nice, sunny day in the country. Would also love another rave up like the old days, pilled up with all my best mates. Glad I have the memories. I don't really see drugs as being fake realities (expect coke and speed) ... I learned alot about myself, nature, empathy, life in general from those experiences. Shame the come down lasted 16 years!

I think there will be progress in the fields of depression, anxiety and epilepsy, which should help every hppd sufferer. There are also some interesting non-benzos hopefully coming to market soon that have a much lower risk of addiction/tolerance and withdrawal. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abecarnil If they can find something like klonopin that doesn't build tolerance.... I would consider that a cure. Thankfully, there is ALOT of money to be made from anti-anxiety meds... So we can be sure that people are working on it.

btw - I think this member is also from Aberdeen - http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/user/17-joon/ Not sure if it would help for you guys to meet and have someone there to chat to, if shit gets bad. I've chatted with him on msn and seems like a decent lad.

From my experience, the paranoia is one of the 1st things to disapear, once you stop the drugs. Just keep your head down and concentrate on the things you love doing, like the cars and bikes and those thoughts will start to go.

Just be very, very strong willed... If you go down that route. It's decent, but it is no get out of jail card.... You will still feel like shit, and it might be covering up alot of shit that is affecting your hppd. I went over a decade without that magic bullet, so when I found it, I treated it with alot of respect. I think you should try some more time without it... Get used to what your body can and can't take.

just the usual.... time, healthy living, distractions etc

I understand your concern... But I've been using it, very sensibly, for 3 years now. I use it once or twice a week and very occasionally have a 2 week vacation where I take 1.5mg per day (I always follow that with 2 weeks clean). I know I am not addicted as I recently had 5 weeks off it and felt no withdrawal. I really don't think it is a demon drug, if you are strong willed and sensible.... In fact, I think it is a fantastic aid to hppd management. My life is considerably better with that drug in my cabinet. Even just knowing that I have something that will take away my anxiety helps me stay less anxious. BUT, I 100% agree that it is an awful drug to go on full time and just leads to even more problems.

Yea, I get a bit of a glow the next day.

Anyone into Sigur Ros / Jonsi I'm completly obsessed. They can hit every emotion I have... Can't wait to see them live this summer

If you are made of firmer stuff than me... what you could do is drink some pints until you feel the buzz and relaxed... then move onto soft drinks for a while (tell you mates you are on vodka & orange, if they give you shit)... then just have to odd beer to top yourself up, then back on the juice. I've done it a few times, and the hangover really stays at a minimum (less drink, plus more fluids and vit C). Have 1 paracetamol and a banana before bed, and a bottle of water by the side.... You should be good. Either that, or get twatted then blast a benzo in the morning.

Don't want to scare anyone, but my doctor wouldn't perscribe me this (and he is usually pretty liberal with the scripts).... He said that there have been a growing number of people showing parkinson symptoms. Mainly in the elderley, but with our condition, he didn't want to risk it.

Thanks... the nausea is clearing now I moved down to 1mg.... I was perhaps a bit stupid to take 2mg to start with (have almost zero opiate usage),,,, when the nausea wasn't there, I felt relaxed and saw some improvement in visuals, So it is something to keep going at, for a whlie. If it doesn't work out, I will chat to him about moving to a proper opiate and will just have to really show alot of will power... Maybe even have my wife hold onto them Thanks again fellas

klonopin ........ 2mg improves my visuals by 75% It is not a long term option though, imho, so use it sparingly for stressful days and be very strong willed

I've only tried it once and it flipped me out.... hearing voices/noises and stuff, I think I did too much. I was nodding in and out, like on opiates I have some suboxone, once I am used to it and don't get nausea as much, i'll try for a hangover cure too.

I went the opposite route and got smashed up on the brandy till 4am.... Thank god for benzos... knocked one back at 10am, slept off the hangover and feel ok now,

I seem to remember the hppd showed on a qEEG test? Is that right? Did you have one of those?

Do you think that 10 days on... 20 days off would be enough to keep away from addiction/tolerance though? (pyshical addiction, that is) I can't see that I would get mentally addicted to this stuff... I'm not sure if it is just me, but I get no kick out of suboxone or codeine, which is a good thing.

I'm not sure that you get these strong opiods here in Europe.... I'm sure i've read that they are very hard to come by, which makes me think that they are not available for perscription. I wonder if there is a list of meds and their availability? I think my doctor would percribe me with such a med, as he seems to trust me

Welcome to the forum.... There is always hope, even if you get this for life... It eases off and you can live a fine and worthy life with the condition.

I'll give it a try but I have never had any success with meditation.... Can't switch my brain off

Cheers mate, the nausea is killing me right now... I've not much experience with opiods... just codeine twice. Hopefully the nausea will go once my body is used to it. If not, are there any "cleaner" opiods? I don't really care about which one gives a good high, just a clean experience that brings down my anxiety would be good.

I got my doc to perscribe me 2mg a day.... Phew, strong stuff... 2mg has put me on my ass! Nice though, very calming and some changes in visuals... Hopefully, I wont be so sluggish, once my body is used to it. The doc has me on this schedule: Day 1 to 10 klono - 2mg Day 11 to 15 - Suboxone - 2mg Day 15 to 20 - Clean, no meds Repeat. If I can be strong willed and don't get too many side effects... this could be quite a nice little routine that should ensure I don't get addicted or tolerent to either med. I love my nuero, so good to have a smart, inteligent doctor that is willing to listen and trust me to find a way of making my life managable. If I can live 75% of my life without anxiety and with some visual relief... I will be over the moon. Just need to stay strong and sensible.

Hey sexy, you sound great Can you give me some money? Do you want to buy some viagra - $200 per pill?

If I smoke skunk, I equal it to about 3/4 of a strong lsd trip* and it tends to last about an hour.... visuals go crazy, time warps, I hear things and get very panicky and paranoid. The only times I ever smoke it is when i'm too drunk to care, and that probably makes it a little more managable.... I can only imagine how bad it would be if I smoked it sober... Probably like a full lsd trip. *I would say my normal hppd life is like 1/2 of a mild lsd trip