Jay1

I've always backed up the view that cannabis can bring hppd.... It is so strong, in Europe at least, that I fully beleive it can make someone trip and give the same symptoms as lsd or mdma use (although, i believe it goes away much quicker, from hearing stories on here). But, the experience Passion had just does not sound like cannabis, to me. It doesn't even sound like a hallucinogen, but a dissociate (which is why i'm suspecting Salvia). I appreciate what you mean about LSD, but I think... no matter how strong or crazy it gets, it is based on reality being completly skewed (but still based in reality)... not a seperate dimension. Did any of your friend have a similar reaction? Did you have the senstation of your soul/mind being sucked away from your body (something I always got from Salvia). Perhaps it was a violent reaction to very strong weed and you are very sensitive to it, which seems possible. I hope this is the case, as I think Salvia is more dangerous and it worries me that people could be selling it as weed. But I don't want to panic you.... I think you are going to be fine as the long lasting cases of hppd seem to always come from lsd/mushroom/mdma use.

I think it was Salvia.... firstly, it was instant.. Even the strongest weed in the world would take a little time to reach the peak, bong or not. Then, the talk of dimensions.... LSD doesn't really put you in different dimensions and certainly no weed I have tried, there is always some link to the real world, no matter how crazy it gets. Salvia can totally disconnect you from reality.... Then, the description of being tugged (pulled around) sounds alot like Salvia, it is a very pyscical feeling. Passion, did it smell/taste like the other weed you had smoked? Where did you get it from, someone you trust and knows what they are doing?

alright mate.. good to hear from you. glad to hear you are off the meds too, i don't think it is the best way to deal with this... The real healing comes from battling this, in my opinion. how was your experience coming off the benzos? and yea, please share any tips on how you are coping. All the best, Jay

Are you certain you smoked weed and not salvia? The experience you had sounds alot like Salvia, to me. Anyway.... 3 days, although, it probably seems scary... Is not something to worry about, just yet. I would even stop researching HPPD and just rest for a week or two... You might just be coming down from such a strong experience. There is every chance that you will be fine in a week or so... If it still continues, then please come back... But until then, the more you research... the more visuals problems you will start to see... Because most are actually natural... We just don't look for them (and like a pandoras box... once you see all the crap in your vision, you will notice it more and more). Stay off drugs and alcohol, eat healthy, rest and relax (take a couple of weeks off work/school).... Then let us know how it goes and, if the symptoms persist, we can take it from there. All the best, Jay

You can't get a bigger disconnect from reallity than dreaming.... I think CEVs and that disassociation are the start of it.... Nothing to get worried about, imho

I almost don't want to write this, for fear of scaring you at a bad stage... But it took me a few years to see any improvements. But I am thankful that I learned to cope without meds and I pretty much breeze through even the hardest days now, because of the coping mechanisms i picked up in those early years. Hopefuly you start seeing improvements much quicker than I did too. Most here seem to.

Welcome, you have a similar story to me... Very similar, in fact. You sound like you are on the right path, if you can excerise, eat right and focus on as much other stuff as possible, you should start to feel better. Try and stay away from the benzos while you get used to this shit. You have an addictive personality and benzos are VERY addictive, especially when they are taking away your hppd symptoms (much like alcohol was, i'm sure). Benzos can really help, and now I am stuborn enough to only take them occasionally, they are a blessing... But if I had got my hands on them at your age and at your point in the illness, i'd have been addicted within months. Have a good look around the site, there is plenty of good advice and good people. All the best, Jay

hard to say.... I've been heavy on the booze for 20 years or so, and it doesn't affect my hppd in any long term way.... But others have said it has made them worse. Maybe try and find a middle ground, stick to bottled beer, try and drink a glass of water here and there. I've always thought that letting my hair down and having fun keeps me going though... I think the pros outweight the cons

It is strange that alcohol is linked so much with CEV and especially that sort of classic "hellish" imagery. I know alot of non hppd users who have said this happens too. My thought has always been that when a person is drinking, their brain is taking in alot of visual info, but not processing it properly, so it sort of lingers around the next night, ready to be processed. Why it takes on a violent nature, i'm not sure.... but it is very common place.

I still get CEVs, but I kind of enjoy them now.... I just sit back and watch the show, almost like a trance. I used to get more horrific CEVs like distorted faces and scenes of violence, but that seems ot have passed. I think drinking less alcohol has helped alot with that. I still get nights where I have looped, weird thinking, and that really annoys me... I tend to try and break the cycle by thinking about something I like, like playing a sport or surfing a huge wave.... Something I can "pyschically" image doing... It seems to help, for some reason.

there are a few people who have become worse some time after stopping drugs... But they are few and far between and it has taken something really stressful to raise their symptoms.... the only cases of people getting worse after recovery.. that I remember were 1) From taking an SSRI 2) From a mega booze binge and 3) From a divorce or something like that, maybe losing their job... something stressful. sitting around wondering if you will one day get worse is a bit like sitting around wondering if you will one day get cancer or hit by a bus. As long as you are doing all the things to minimise the scenario, you are doing your best and what will be, will be... I know it is hard, but try not to overthink it. even if the worst did happen, you will still keep going, still keep fighting. Like you say, you should be proud of yourself for managing this, and you will continue to do so, whatever tomorrow brings.

As long as you stay off the drugs, I can't see anything but a full recovery, mate. You might see the occasional visuals (which i'm certain are natural anyway, we just damaged our filter) but as long as the anxiety and dp/dr are gone, I think you will live a very happy life. I'm sure you'll be able to enjoy some nights down the pub and all the other stuff that you should be doing at your age (cept drugs).... Just don't go over the top on booze, but a few beers isn't likely to bring this back. It can get very bad, living hell.... So that is the perfect knowledge to have if you ever get tempted to do drugs again. Keep fightin fella, sounds like you are almost there

yea, sound can be affected... and if you look hard enough, you will find all sorts of visual strangeness.... even people who don't take drugs will see all sorts of crap if they actively search it out. I know it is hard not to focus on what is in front of your eyes... but you have to try. It might be worth stopping reading about hppd for a while, once you have researched the basics on what to do and what to avoid.

Stay away from the meds, for now. There is a good chance that this will go away, possibly even within the next few months. I know it seems like there are not many success stories here.... but there have been, especially on the old hppd forum. I'm not sure what your current situatoin is (School, work etc?).... Is it possible to take a month off and just get your head together a bit, in your own enviroment? Then start slowly introducing yourself back into "normal life". Take a look at this topic - http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/745-general-advice/ Good luck, Jay

Considering you only stop taking drugs 1 month ago... Maybe that is what is helping bring down your anxiety and change of mindset? I think going on meds, so early into your hppd, is a bad idea. See if it goes away naturally.

Mainly anxiety, nausea, an increase in visuals and just a general chemical feeling in my body. The doctor as good as forced me to stay on it for 3 months, not a nice experience. Yea, I think a well managed Klonopin system can work wonders. You just have to be very strong willed. Today is a good example, I had a phone interview with a company to work for them as an iPhone app designer.... I did 1mg of klono to get over the anxiety of the interview and it went really well.... Now I have that initial call out of the way, I wont need klono again, as I feel comfortable chatting with the guy.... It is just that 1st call that would freak me out, without klono.

I tried Effexor and was very ill, I wouldn't recommend it... But as you know, we all reacte differently to these meds... But SSRIs and such seem to make things worse for the majority.

Good news, floaters are 100% natural. Nothing to worry about and occur in the healthiest of eyes. They come and go (I have had them since I was a child). The more you scan your field of view... The more stuff you will notice.. Our eyes are not perfect, you will see white blood cells, floaters and other natural stuff you tend to filter out.

Haha, i'll see if I can get one perscribed by my doctor. But yea, keeping your mind busy is the best way to keep out the bad stuff

1994 - pre-hppd/warning signs (mild visuals, but only if I really looked for them). Contuniued with drugs. 1995 - something of a nervous breakdown after microdot (LSD) trip. Full hppd probably started then.Continued with drugs. 1996 - after a year of constant drug and alcohol abuse to numb the pain of hppd and depression, did another LSD trip and went into severe hppd. Quit drugs. 1997 - start of the hardest few years of my life. Full on depression and felt like I was on a strong acid trip, every day. . . 2000 - depression went, anxiety lessened. Life seemed to begin again. . . . . . . . . . . . . 2012 - visuals still intense, anxiety is there, but my life is not the disaster it was 1996-2000 where I felt like my brain was melting, both mentally and pysically.

They can get pretty heavy though... skip to about 11 minutes... (it's a long one! 16 odd minutes and only has 3 words) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQsPv4FMyLg Probably the most unique band in the world..... Icelandic, proper bunch of crazies over there

yea, plenty of geometric shapes.... much like when I used to push hard on my eyes, when I were a kid. Since I stupidly did salvia a couple of years ago... the shapes have become much more pronounced. I have two distinct field of view now... real life and the acid world.

I'd love another trip on a nice, sunny day in the country. Would also love another rave up like the old days, pilled up with all my best mates. Glad I have the memories. I don't really see drugs as being fake realities (expect coke and speed) ... I learned alot about myself, nature, empathy, life in general from those experiences. Shame the come down lasted 16 years!

I think there will be progress in the fields of depression, anxiety and epilepsy, which should help every hppd sufferer. There are also some interesting non-benzos hopefully coming to market soon that have a much lower risk of addiction/tolerance and withdrawal. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abecarnil If they can find something like klonopin that doesn't build tolerance.... I would consider that a cure. Thankfully, there is ALOT of money to be made from anti-anxiety meds... So we can be sure that people are working on it.

btw - I think this member is also from Aberdeen - http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/user/17-joon/ Not sure if it would help for you guys to meet and have someone there to chat to, if shit gets bad. I've chatted with him on msn and seems like a decent lad.