Puppeteer

Wow, I'm so pleased this thread's taken off like this! Sorry for not returning sooner; I made the initial post in one of my more cheerful moods before realism/pessimism/anxiety swooped in and made positivity and productivity seem once again like foreign concepts, as tends to happen. I'm glad of your knowledge and experience, Syntheso! You'll be a real asset to this project. Jay is a self-employed web-designer if my memory serves me? It'd be great if he were interested as well. The idea of an engaging, well-made video is brilliant, and yes, absolutely crucial in the post-Internet era. I have relatively easy access to a high quality camera and would of course be more than willing to share my experiences. I'm also pretty decent with visual composition and effective writing when I put my mind to it!

So what's the opinion on high-CBD strains a la CBD Crew's various types, harlequin etc.? I've had my eye on the CBD Crew outdoor strain for a little while now and with Spring just starting in Aus growing season is upon us; having grown last year (I've still got ~25 grams of what would seem to be a high-THC strain just sitting in my wardrobe, ha) I could probably manage a grow of one or two plants so long as my dad approved (the drop out mentally-unwell kid look going on almost another year might've lessened his lenience toward the idea) and I'm able to sort out a suitable place where my dickhead neighbours aren't likely to smell/spot it. I really like gardening, especially when the gain is so high, but I'd like to wind up with a product I can, y'know, comfortably use. Given that high-CBD strains are all somewhere around 6% CBD 6% THC, are they a definite no-no?

Hmmmmmm, it's subtle to the point of likely just being wishful thinking/placebo but I might be feeling the tiniest bit better. I've decided to split the 50mg tablets and take roughly half in the morning and half in the night because it seems like this slight improvement in mood fades after a short while + the only major side effect to worry about with tapering up too quickly is the rash which is suuuuuuuuper rare and far more common in women/kids under 16. All is fine so far, and I've got enough to go up a little faster than 25mg/fortnight. Though, I took the second half only 2 or so hours back and haven't really seemed to notice what I think I've noticed before, so I don't know. It's really just way too early on to even be thinking about this stuff I guess. Yeah, that's what's been going on. On the off chance Odisa is lurking, have you got any input on whether once/if I reached a therapeutic dose that I'm gonna sustain for a bit and am sure of its effects whether I'll be able to take procholinergics (ALCAR/Choline(+Inositol)/coluracetam as well? What about piracetam or aniracetam?

I've been more interested in doing productive things recently i.e. art, cooking, etc. but it's nothing significant and I've only taken the Lamictal for two days so I'm doubtful it's got anything to do with it. Then again, my ability to perceive slight changes in perception is utterly fucked and there certainly are a fair few cases like yours where changes have become evident very quickly, so perhaps, perhaps. Was there any particular reason you quit/decided to switch to Keppra, Merkan?

doxx

Best of luck mate! I'll have to have a closer look into why this stuff's potentially beneficial - I have done but it's since all leaked out, haha.

Yeah, saw the psych today and got the all-hallowed script. I'm tentatively hopeful. Just a few things I'd like some insight on, if anyone can help. As far as doing a fair trial, what should I omit from my current supplement regime? It seems harmless to stick with my fish oil, multivitamin, B-complex, vitamin D3, and creatine. I've been taking ~4g of magnesium BID (morning and night), and given that the intention of that isn't purely dietary it seems logical to cut it out whilst figuring out if Lamictal suits. I'm fresh out of NAC which is probably timely as having something else affecting glutamate could potentially skew the results. If it looks like Lamictal's gonna be a long-term thing I'll probably add it back though as the "glutamate management" of NAC sounds as though it's likely to be somewhat synergistic with Lamictal's glutamate inhibition, from what I've read - there are certainly a lot of people on Lamictal who also supplement NAC on their psych's advice. I received some damiana, passiflora and skullcap by mail today and couldn't help myself - I'm vaping a mixture of damiana and passiflora right now, haha. I wasn't expecting anything this noticeable! A definite, slight warmth in my head and an overall "chilled out" feeling, with little-to-none of the distractability/poor articulation/trippiness of weed. Pretty pleasant. Is it advisable that I otherwise abstain from them while trialling Lamictal? Tapering up to even the minimum effective dose is going to take a month and it'd be nice to be able to chill out between now and then a bit, but if those wiser than me think it's not a risk worth taking I'll endure! He was really cool and semi-fudged the script so that I'm not technically taking it off-label and so can get the government-subsidised discount on it. Additionally he prescribed me 50mg despite recommending I start off at 25mg for further bang-for-my-buck, haha. Thing is, the bloody pharmacist didn't ask me if I wanted regular pills or chewable ones, and it was only after I cracked the packet open that I realised I'd wound up with the latter, which are impossible to split in half without them crumbling everywhere. I'm tempted to be cheeky and just start at 50, and if the dreaded rash begins to show I'll move back to 25. There are a bunch of reports online of people starting at 50 with no or little issue and my general impatience is making the idea very tempting. Recommendations? Finally, just a couple things I want to know in the event that I do wind up taking this for an extended period. If its effects are mild at best and I want to give keppra a shot, would it be better to taper fully off lamictal then try keppra on its own or would it be okay to start keppra whilst on lamictal? I know it's a cross-that-bridge-when-you-come-to-it situation but I can't help but speculate! Also, in response to the buzz surrounding procholinergics that coluracetam and Odisa's enthusiasm has generated, I tried choline/ALCAR/inositol a couple of times last week and the effect was definitely positive, if subtle. Is there any reason I wouldn't be able to add these on top of Lamictal down the track that anyone's aware of? How about coluracetam? I'll look into this stuff myself tomorrow but figured it was worth dipping into the collective consciousness, haha. Thanks for any responses and I hope all is well!

Are you aware it's often prescribed in cases of "pure" DP/DR with what seems to be a pretty decent success rate? It's discussed far more often on the dpselfhelp forum as well as in scientific literature: see here http://apt.rcpsych.org/content/11/2/92.full I'm really not aware how the neurobiology of HPPD-related DP/DR compares to that of other cases but I can't help but have a lot of hope. Ought to check out if many people on here have tried/had success with naltrexone or naloxone as those are praised quite a bit as well.

Hey Odisa, just wanted to check if you've started up supplementing Lion's Mane just yet? I can imagine you might be waiting until you're more certain about coluracetam's usefulness.

So given that agomelatine doesn't seem to have done much of anything it's very likely I'll be prescribed Lamictal next Tuesday. When I mentioned levetiracetam the psychiatrist I'm seeing either didn't have much to say about it or didn't want to go there for some reason, but he praised Lamictal and said it'd be the next move in my treatment. Thing is, I know Keppra tends to be the most well-regarded anticonvulsant by members here and seems to have the most success stories, but I'm not sure if that's just because more people have tried it. I'm not well-versed in the pharmacological actions of either and how they differ but a lot of studies/reports seem to regard them as relatively comparable as far as treatment of epilepsy goes. I know there's the study, but is there any reason Keppra was chosen for the study over Lamictal, and were the same study to be done with Lamictal is there much reason to believe the results would be less positive? I really just want to know if there's any concrete reason that I might want to really push for Keppra over Lamictal; I don't especially want to get into an argument about this stuff with a professor of psychiatry unless I'm confident there's a solid basis for doing so Oh, and while I'm at it I'd like to ask: if one's HPPD fails to respond to treatment with one anticonvulsant, is that reason to believe it won't respond to another and that avenue of treatment should be abandoned?

It's brilliant to hear that there's tangible positive improvements happening this early on! Fingers crossed that they'll only grow stronger and more plentiful from here. Even if it's not a magic bullet it sounds like coluracetam could well be a valuable cornerstone in your treatment. This definitely has me excited! Incidentally, when I was looking into pyritinol I stumbled upon discussion of atomoxetine/strattera, a relatively new non-stim ADHD medication which sounds like it may potentially be worth a shot? I was wondering what your/others' take on it would be (forgive me for straying a little off topic): http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16231039 Once again, best wishes.

You'd have better luck with this question in the Pharmacological/Medication subforum. In fact, there's a pretty active thread that serves the same purpose going on there if you haven't seen it: http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/2162-supplements-that-work/

Well at least something happened! And it's reassuring that any benefits will be cumulative.

Nail-biting stuff!

I am tentatively excited for you, and for the potential implications your response might have for other members of the community. Good luck!

Felt like bumping this.

Yeah, tell me about it. I'd make up a litre or so of plunger coffee of a morning, drink as much as I could before heading out and fill up a thermos with the rest, which'd be gone by midday. Then I'd get home and make another, hah. Now I stick with my white tea and tisanes and a couple times a week I'll be that guy who orders a soya decaf latté, haha. It's not so bad when I'm in the city, but if I'm up the more-conservative coast where I grew up it raises eyebrows. I recently purchased a jar of the instant cereal/fruit/seed-derived coffee-alternative Bambu - it's pretty nice! Good for when you want a 100% caffeine-free hot drink that you can still have quite milky.

I've got some really nice chamomile tea in a drawer and I've been considering rolling a joint with it - I'll do that soon and let you know if my mileage varies. You've convinced me to buy a bunch of nice herbs and perhaps even a damiana extract - I've been wanting to make an herbal smoking mix for a while but this thread's gotten me much more excited by the concept. It'd be nice to have something to smoke when I'm hanging out with my tobacco-enamoured pals - perhaps even get them to swap out a cigarette here and there with something considerably less harmful, hah. Are you confident, Odisa, that caffeine isn't notably anxiogenic for you? It's distinctly so for me - every now and then I'll think I can sneak a coffee by my senses and wind up having a shitty day because of it. Have you tried cutting out the black and green tea you drink? I'm a huge fan of white tea which as I'm sure you're aware has effectively negligible caffeine content and much higher (so the theory goes) antioxidant and l-theanine content than its camellia sinensis-derived brothers. My best to all.

Very insightful stuff man. Forgive me for not posting a more lengthy response, but would you mind sharing how you feel Damiana compares to Kava as best you can?

Oh, yeah, naturally I'll focus some time on looking into tulsi as well as further educating myself on lion's mane and bacopa and anything else that seems useful! I'm definitely feeling a lot more down of late; perhaps I haven't noted the impact of removing Cymbalta too well after all. Oh well, surely I'll be able to replicate its effects with other options that are less negative overall.

I'm aware of the recommended time for Bacopa and Lion's Mane to take effect; however, this time as with last time the bacopa-related brain fog has cropped up within the first week (I'm growing more and more confident that bacopa is the culprit at the moment). Care to say why you believe lamotrigine to be inferior to levetiracetam? I mentioned to the professor that levetiracetam was far and away the most commonly effective anticonvulsant but he brushed it aside; he seems to particularly favour lamotrigine as a drug generally (I gather he often prescribes it as a "mood stabiliser". As far as I gathered adrafinil is essentially a precursor to modafinil and whilst you may have to take a little more and wait a little longer for it to take effect you essentially reap the same effects, but that might be a crude understanding. I'd have purchased modafinil if I'd been able to find it online anywhere other than those shady, expensive "pharmacy" websites. Mind sharing where you procured it? NAC, hmm. It's hard to say. There hasn't been the wow this is so much better immediately sensation some people have reported, but I don't know if that's my current lack of sensitivity/awareness of such changes at work. It definitely doesn't produce negative effects and with anything I've bought I'll tend to exhaust my supply if that's the case. I guess it feels somewhat energising and clarifies my general experience some; sorry to be vague. Sometimes I've taken a whole bunch at once (~3g) and that's definitely anxiogenic to an extent, but in a way that I just kind of wanted to remove myself from the social engangement I was in and think and do things on my own for a while, which is a positive thing to feel in its own way. Tumblr's an image-focused blog site, yeah. It's mostly just a neat timesink that doesn't feel as unproductive as what I was doing beforehand online (lurking 4chan and aimless unfocused general browsing ha)

The psychiatrist I'm seeing (professor Ian Hickie of the Sydney Brain and Mind Research Institute) after hearing my account of perceptual symptoms and considering my apparently not-out-of-the-ordinary EEG, MRI, and psychometric testing, has prescribed me agomelatine. I'm about to hit the hay and don't have the greatest ability to analyse this stuff normally, but if anyone could give their two-cents on the value of this drug, at the very least regarding HPPD-related anxiety and depression, that'd be great. It doesn't seem to have been mentioned anywhere in direct relation to HPPD. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agomelatine http://whatyoushouldknow.depression-alliance.co.uk/antidepressants/agomelathine-2/ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23037643

Oh, additionally, my tumblr URL is www.cuttlefishinfestation.tumblr.com if anyone wants to be exposed to my shitty personal life/ruminations/artistic taste/penchant for affected abbreviated run on speech/etc.

Ah, to be honest it felt a lot as though nobody was reading it, it got a bit dull to be so perpetually ruminating on it, and so on. I started a Tumblr and have kept myself pretty distracted through that! Anyhow, I've unfortunately not been great at determining whether much has happened with the supplements. Given how gradually some of them start to take effect and how subtle the changes would be, my general difficult perceiving changes in my mental experience and rather shocking memory haven't enabled me to go "yeah wow x is definitely happening and I can attribute that to y"; perhaps if I were more careful and put more effort into keeping a diary but the motivation for careful monitoring (let alone much else) just isn't there sorry I'm not much use. My approach instead has been to note if anything negative has happened since starting certain things, trying to determine if that's persistent and not caused by anything else (i.e. oversleeping/undersleeping, another supp.) and definitely wasn't part of my cognition prior to starting (which my memory and a fairly uneventful day-to-day life make tricky), then removing the likely culprit. Anyhow, I'm taking a less-is-more approach presently: after aniracetam and ALCAR failed to produce any noticeable improvement and a definite unease/mental discomfort I gave them a rest, and the same with rhodiola. I've also since tapered completely off Cymbalta. Adrafinil is definitely a positive-feeling thing but I've only tried it a few times as I'm wary of excessive use and have often only found myself able to use it later in the day, which I'd rather not do. My current "stack" is as follows: NAC 600mg once or twice daily Multivitamin B Complex Vitamin D3 Fish Oil, high dose Lion's mane/hericium erinaceus "full spectrum" powder, ~600mg twice daily Additionally I've been taking a 225mg bacopa-extract pill for about a week and unfortunately it seems like I'm experiencing the same brain fog I did the first time I tried it. I need to consult the Longecity community to see if they think it's worth taking it prior to sleep or if this reaction is indicative of a wholly negative response or possible allergy. Yet to try inositol. I've been sticking with things that aren't especially potent or unique in their actions largely due to the thorough analysis I've been undergoing at Sydney's Brain and Mind Research Institute. After a thorough MRI and EEG (both of which yielded results within a relatively normal range for a male my age, apparently the EEG wasn't completely typical but also not incredibly alarming) as well as psychometric testing and sleep analysis (which I'm due to complete tomorrow through overnight analysis in their on-sight sleep lab, yikes) professor Ian Hickie has put me on the melatonergic antidepressant Valdoxan (agomelatine), and he said if after a week or so on that I haven't experienced significant reduction of my "perceptual symptoms" (which I highly doubt will be the case) then he's going to trial me on Lamotrigine/Lamictal. If anyone could inform me why levetiracetam is generally preferred to lamotrigine on here that'd be good! I've noted when posting recently a general lack of proper grammar and an impatience for proof-reading. I'm not sure what might be the cause of that; I'm suspecting bacopa. I think I'll just straight up drop it for the moment; bugger, the potential for improved memory was so appealing.

Prior to developing HPPD I was in an emotionally exhausting relationship with a guy who was coming out of some pretty serious drug-induced mental health problems - it was my first "serious" relationship and despite having such an awful time of it I somehow I felt obliged to let him lean on me with all of his problems, that it'd be weak and selfish of me not too. After a year of it I was drained of so much of my former enthusiasm for other people and for living - I fucked up a pretty pristine school record and wound up consulting a doctor and psychologist for depression and anxiety - ultimately I was driven to use drugs as an escape, and lo-and-behold here I am. I can't really say what would've happened had I not been with him, but to be in a destructive relationship when you're so young and life's already so crazy it's hard not to say it definitely messed me around pretty severely and put me on a path less positive than what it could've been. So, whilst a couple of guys have shown interest in me since and if I put a little effort into getting myself more in step with how most people run their lives I'd likely be able to land a relationship, I can't help feeling that I'll be a burden on the other guy, and given my experience I can't stand the idea of putting someone through something similar. People should get equal emotional support out of a relationship and I'm just not capable of providing that at the moment, unfortunately. Then again, I don't know entirely. If I met a guy who I really clicked with who was going through something as unpleasant as HPPD maybe we'd be able to support one another and grow from the positivity that comes with a relationship, and get through our issues together. But I'd hate for the little energy and enthusiasm I have to be stretched between trying to sort my issues out and also dealing with a relationship with another mentally-compromised person. All in good time. (One good thing about being gay is that it's ridiculously easy to get a hook up if I get the urge and can't otherwise satiate it, but it doesn't much, hah.)