Puppeteer

Gosh, I hate reading over my own posts. You don't really notice that you're making spelling/syntactic errors at the time, but afterwards... Anyhow, I digress. Do you have any insight to when the NSI will be ready apart from what VLK's posted in the Participants thread? Can't help but feel like "late December/early January" could very well mean there's a possibility of delays, then a dragged out process of it getting split up and shipped out... Really just wanna get started with it ASAP, aha. Maybe the fates will smile upon me and the neuro I'm seeing on Thursday will prescribe me Keppra, but otherwise NSI's my number one priority... Digressing once again. Have you already transferred the cash for yours to VLK, Odisa? Did you wind up going with 5 or 10g?

I think Odisa's plan to halt Cerebrolysin treatment until after an NSI-189 trial makes a lot of sense - maximise the amount of neurons (NSI-189) for Cerebrolysin to promote synapse formation between. So even if there are ways to optimise Cere administration it'll be even more beneficial to hold of trying that stuff out until after using NSI-189. Did you wind up purchasing some from nyles7, Odisa?

Uhh, yeah, as you've said, Lithium is a powerful thing and really needs to be respected. If you wanna take it it would be very wise to find a specialist who's willing to work with you, and if not, really do your research, keep a log of what's going on, etc. I've considered it now and then but always concluded that it's not worth the hassle and probably not the most applicable treatment for my symptoms anyhow. Best of luck

Very keen to hear how the Uridine stack goes for you man. Given all the hype on Longecity I'd've thought it might be more popular on here.

Hey. In addition to all the more commonly desired effects you may benefit from, Piracetam supposedly has weak anticonvulsant properties, If you have nothing else lined up, you might as well give it a shot; at the least it's very unlikely to do you any harm. There are tons of nootropics out there that may well help you though - if you're just experiencing the visual shit then coluracetam seems to be the nootropic most commonly connected to visual enhancement, though few people on here have given it a shot so god knows if it'll affect HPPD visuals. At least one member has attributed improvement to high-dose fish oil supplementation, and then there's varying levels of success with things like magnesium, valerian root, and so on. As for acquiring Keppra, it's pretty unlikely you'll procure any from users on here. If they had the means I'm sure every member would gladly help you out, but prescription drugs are prescription drugs for a reason (whether they're reasonably accessible is another matter). It's not exactly easy to stockpile a quantity that'll be useful to another member, unfortunately. There are some pretty reputable online pharmacies you could get it through, but for those of us without rich parents that generally isn't an option, hah. Specialists are the safest bet; unfortunately the majority are very set in the ways. It's a ton of red tape and sheer luck just to find someone half-reasonable who'll be open-minded to treating this crazy thing you diagnosed yourself with via the Internet that they've never heard of. Try to find a neuropsychiatrist, or a neurologist whose specialties seem most applicable to this kind of stuff (probably along the lines of epilepsy, mood disorders, visual disorders, etc.) because I don't think a single psychiatrist has ever treated a patient with Keppra so most aren't open to trying. Read up on it, print out a bunch of info, and go in there well-armed and confident and ready to argue your case. Or some approximation of that scenario anyhow I'm pretty certain there are people on here from the Netherlands who've managed to get it prescribed so hopefully one of them can pop in and help you out. Best of luck!

Huh, quaint, I wonder how nyles7 got his hands on NSI-189. Hard not to suspect it's fake, or at least impure. That said though, his tianeptine is completely genuine, so I think if there's any scam going on it's probably further up the supply chain.

Well, not really. After I first got visual shit going on I noticed that smoking weed made it much more prominent which it didn't beforehand, so I guess in that way I knew for sure. Not that I'm recommending you go out and get fried to find out, hah. A bunch of us on here have gotten all the usual tests and scans and come up "normal", though there are those who've had unusual EEG/qEEG results. While obviously in genuine cases of HPPD something has to have changed, it's likely on such a small scale that it mightn't even be apparent in autopsy analysis, who knows. For the most part all the most prominent symptoms are very subjective, so people only really have your word to go on. For us who say we know for sure, the changing of our perceptions was so quick and considerable that there really couldn't be any other explanation. If that's not the case for you then there's not much you can do, apart from compare yourself to others, though evidently that's not all that reliable. Do you suffer any of the more unpleasant symptoms? Cognitive/memory impairment, DP/DR, brain fog, head pressure, severe abnormal anxiety, etc.? If you're only really affected by the visuals, and they're mild enough that they seem to fall within the realm of normal variation (given people like your friend already experience similar stuff) and you don't know for sure that they're actually due to your drug use, then I'd say you're pretty damn lucky and should just try to put all this behind you and go on living. HPPD visuals have no distinct cure, except time and healthfulness. Neither though do they pose any real threat to your wellbeing and quality of life, so long as they aren't indicate of further impairment/damage. Worrying about them certainly isn't going to make them go away, but it will consume your time and drain your enthusiasm if you let it. Not to mention people frequently say being incredibly stressed and anxious about their symptoms only makes them worse.

Bummer to hear that you aren't getting any of the wow effects people often report in the early days of cerebrolysin. Presumably though, even if nothing's immediately apparent, it's doing something behind the scenes, so hopefully at the very least you'll be gaining some subtle improvements.

Yeah, by far the most important thing for us HPPDers is to really grab a hold of the affirmation that regret can only be destructive, and does little more then prolong your suffering into the future. We all make mistakes man - HPPD is so cruel in that it makes you feel depressed and hopeless to the point that you wind up doing reckless things to deal with it and often wind up in an even worse place. It's in the past; you can't change it, but you can learn and grow from it. It will get better man, and not getting anxious and stressed about it will make it go away that much quicker. Best of luck.

Yeah, just as many bad things come from the ground as good, so the whole "natural is better" argument falls flat really... Chemicals is chemicals, a lot of very useful, safe, and effective chemicals, many of them world-changing/life-saving have been synthesised in labs. Heck, most of the things that help with HPPD have been.

I can't tell if you're spam or foreign, but in any case: homeopathy is complete and utter bullshit that is worth nobody's time so don't waste your money.

Figured I'd bump this to mention that Coluracetam is pretty widely available now, given that when it wasn't there was quite a bit of buzz surrounding it. Would be interesting to hear if it helps other HPPDers; seems like Odisa's trial might've scared some people off, but everyone's different! Newmind.com seems to be the most affordable. I've just ordered a gram, might give it a shot to note any immediate effects but it'll probably be a while before I can do a lengthy trial; just want to have it on hand for when I can.

Wow, uh. Wasn't really sure just how tianeptine was affecting me at the 15mg-ish dosage 3x daily I was taking for a month or so... My 5g tub from newmind arrived recently so tonight I figured, hey, I know people use this stuff recreationally sometimes, why not try a high dose and see what happens. Probably took about 80mg a couple of hours ago and... I've felt really, really pleasant. It's crazy. I haven't felt this good in quite a while. I'm just lying on the couch in the dark, listening to some tunes... and I'm enjoying music! Actually enjoying it! I have this pleasant, warm feeling throughout... Pretty happy, dare I say it - optimistic. It's not like I'm pumped to go for an early morning hike or go land a job this instant or cook a four course meal or anything too dramatic, but it's nice! I do feel in some ways like my old self. I'll report back with how I'm feeling in the morning, and I'll be sure to give this another shot during the day when I'm out and about to see whether it'll be practical for getting stuff done. Obviously it's not recommendable to take a "recreational dose" of anything regularly, but it could be a nice thing to take on social occasions and the like. So long as I don't wake up with horribly exacerbated symptoms or something, I'm definitely going to start using this regularly for some time, I think. Probably at 20mg or so three times daily... Try to find the lowest dose it takes to be able to go "Yep, I can definitely feel something". Hoping Visual might chime in on this thread. Definitely think tianeptine's worth considering for those looking for things to try.

Hmm, I'm more and more (cautiously) excited about this stuff! MDMA's what primarily fucked me over, and its neurotoxicity primarily affects the hippocampus, from what I can gather. Given that fucked up memory and severely reduced capacity to feel joy are the main issues MDMA gave me (some wonder drug, huh?), and those are the main issues that pop up in studies relating to its impact on the hippocampus... Well, it seems like this could really help me with a good few issues. A lot of people are mentioning that those who are experiencing the most profound benefits from NSI-189 are those who have some kind of hippocampal damage/degradation/shrinkage i.e. MDD, PTSD, etc. and the "healthy individuals" are the ones who experience little benefit. I'm keeping my enthusiasm well reigned, but I feel like my hopefulness is pretty well justified! I definitely think anyone for whom MDMA played a significant role in developing/exacerbating HPPD/other cognitive symptoms ought to look into this. If anyone more capable with analysing and understanding the info relevant to this and such could provide some more thorough insight into NSI's potential in treating MDMA-related damage that'd be really great.

Hmm, that's a good point - expanding the "pharmacological/medication" subforum to a general "treatment" forum seems like a good idea - not every effective treatment comes in the form of a pill and there's not really a specific section for discussing various therapies, meditation, diets, etc. etc.

Maybe look into agomelatine?

Well that would certainly be a great thing for people to have access to, I'd be very interested in reading something so thorough. Not entirely sure what you meant by that last sentence; can't tell which end the syntax error is happening on, haha. I didn't realise you'd written a piece for The Psychologist! Has it been published yet/will it be? I'm not entirely sure if what you have in mind is in line with my suggestion, though... I was thinking more along the lines of something relatively brief, using minimal technical language, but still giving a clear image of the complex workings of HPPD and how it affects people's lives... An accurate snapshot of what goes on on this forum for people who might wander here out of curiosity or concern. Of course, fleshing out the Wikipedia page is incredibly important as well, so having more credible sources to cite from in doing so would be very useful. Is that what you're saying would be your intention in putting those documents up?

Does anyone experience a delayed focusing when shifting your vision from near objects to distant ones? I recall thinking it only became noticeable after Cymbalta but my short-term memory was awful back then so it's hard to know for sure. I know it's also caused by eyestrain from constantly focusing on close-up things and lord knows since HPPD I've been spending a hell of a lot more time in front of a screen, so it might be that as well I suppose. I'd just be interested to know exactly where in the visual system this issue is going on and whether it's HPPD-related or not.

Yeah, not really the right place for this at all dude. I don't really know what you expected from posting this here? I think 99% of people on here wince at the thought of touching anything psychoactive ever again; I know I get a nasty pang of anxiety any time I see or hear people talking about this shit in a positive light. And incidentally, I know it's obvious, but if you have HPPD it's really, really not wise to go fucking around with psychedelics, let alone new untested RC's. A case that might not be so bad or that you've adjusted to could easily be made immensely, immensely worse by one trip. The whole "HPPD's just a new perspective on life duuuuude" attitude some people have is toxic bullshit. Head over to shroomery or bluelight or something man.

I know a few of the people who've recovered have said that once their symptoms were all-but gone they could smoke with no issues. I'd be cautious, though. Wait until you're well and truly out of the woods before going full-on stoner again; if you know it feels bad/worsens your symptoms it's really not worth the potential setback. You've probably seen the CBD thread around - have you considered giving that a shot? It's most likely prohibitively expensive, but if you're keen on testing the waters you could track down a high-CBD strain and try a little. But, again, approach this cautiously, and if you can hold off, that's probably best. Perhaps give passiflora, damiana, scullcap, pendicularis, etc. a shot.

I think this would be a really great thing to do, because undoubtedly a lot of people who are curious about HPPD wind up here and just lurk for a little bit. This is probably the best resource for information on what HPPD is really like; the Wikipedia page misses a fair bit and its 'Co-existing Problems' section is far too brief. Also, there's definitely value in hearing about it from people who've experienced it/are experiencing it/etc. Presently though I think those lurkers who are just wanting to get a relatively quick understanding of HPPD will have a difficult time of it here because all the information is so spread our amongst different threads; they'll undoubtedly stumble upon terms and such and have no idea what they mean (what things like "starbursting" and "ghosting" are, why people talk about drugs like Keppra, etc.) and possibly miss important aspects of the disorder (the fact that it can be made worse by further drug use, just how bad and crippling it can get, which medications are bad, the less obvious or well-known symptoms, etc.). The forum is essentially exclusively geared toward people who already have HPPD pretty badly - for us who are on here regularly and have been dealing with HPPD for a while it's okay because we've done a lot of reading on the disorder, read through most of the threads, found the important older threads from ages back, etc. and so generally know what's going on, but I think someone from outside stumbling on here would definitely feel pretty confused and alienated. My primary concern is that somebody who's recently gotten HPPD symptoms will start looking them up, just check out the first few things they find, conclude it's not that big a deal and just go on acting how they would've - precisely because that's exactly what happened to me, and I doubt I'm the only one. I definitely wound up on here at some point, felt like the few things I saw were confusing and assumed most people's situations weren't that bad and that they'd probably been using drugs for a long time. Obviously not at all the case, but when I probably only looked at the few most recent threads in the main forum or something I likely saw very specific threads that were only dealing with some minor aspect of the problem, and would've lost interest pretty quickly. Just looking at the Wikipedia page you could be forgiven for thinking it wasn't that big a problem at all - it deals primarily with the persistent visual distortions and only very briefly mentions the connection to depersonalisation and anxiety, and doesn't mention at all issues with memory, general cognition, etc. and just how fucked up some people's lives get. The erowid page only mentions the visual problems. Both pages very prominently mention that anxiety and depression are quite likely due to being concerned by the visual stuff - definitely some truth to that, but I think a lot of us would say that our drug use has directly caused the mood issues. There are a lot of people who think that the mild visual symptoms they have are cool or interesting, or at least aren't bothered by them. I think it's very important for those people to know that any visual symptoms are a cause for concern and that they should stop all hallucinogen use to make sure they don't develop any of the worse symptoms. They might even be experiencing the co-morbid cognitive issues and fail to connect them with the visual things and just assume they're independent of each other - I recall sitting in school and researching what aspects of my diet might've been contributing to the anxiety and brain fog I was experiencing. Then heading to a friends house to trip for a weekend to take my mind off it. Ha. Yeah, in short I think it'd be a really, really good thing to have a very prominent and thorough info page for people who've stumbled on to the site that effectively says, amongst other things, "if you're experiencing symptoms of HPPD stop using drugs now because you're at high-risk of fucking your life up badly". Thoughts?

Uhhh.... Why not 0% chance of cancer? Gum? Patches? E-Cigs?

well at your next neuro appointment explain that things have gotten much worse to the point that they're not tolerable and that it would be significantly unpleasant and difficult for you to wait out a month or more for it to work, and request to try something different, I suppose. might be a good opportunity to request a keppra trial.

Only a few people have had a miraculous, immediate response, actually, from what I've read. It's more common for it to take a few weeks to a few months to notice much; some people have said a year but I think once you get to that stage it's too hard to know that it wasn't just healing over time. That's not to say that it's not worth giving it a short trial if you don't have any other option. I wonder, if you managed to procure a month or so's worth illegally(?) and experienced relief, whether a doctor would prescribe you more if you told him.

Are those things which you've experienced before on your "worst days", or do you think they're definitely due to Lamictal? Are you experiencing them in addition to the other stuff you noted is worse? And are you experiencing anything better? The fact is that there's just no way to know whether one drug that's helped others is going to help you or not, or indeed whether it'll make things worse. I know one person on here said that his visual snow got worse with Lamictal, but that was after taking a very high dose of 600mg for quite a while, I believe. What doesn't help is that there's no definite length of time or definite dose at which you'll know for sure that it's gonna help or not. I've seen people on dpselfhelp say that it took them a few months, that they only really noticed anything at 350mg, etc. It's a gamble. There's the chance that if you're already feeling bad at this dose, higher doses will only make that worse, and taking a month to reach that upper dose only to find that out and have to come off it will suck. But maybe all the shit will subside as you adjust and you will benefit. Maybe after a few months things will start to look up, or maybe you'll just be a few months down the track and exactly the same. At least you'd know for sure that something isn't for you, and be confident moving on to something else. It's really only very early days for you though, dude. Unless you reach the point that you feel really, really awful and just unable to go on, or symptoms are definitely noticeably exacerbated, i'd say just do your best to take it easy, wait and see.