Onemorestep

Strangely enough klonopin makes me really sad when I take it while lorazepam does not. And I'm surprised about the gabapentin. I've heard that tolerance and withdrawal/addiction can be a problem with it. Granted that's just from a quick google search but yea I feel like if it didn't have those issues it would be a miracle drug for people addicted to alcohol or benzos. Either way not saying don't try it in the same way I don't dissuade people from trying benzos because GABA can really make a difference in our quality of life.

Sinemet helped a ton too

Lamictal decreases glutamate transition so withdrawals could lead to excess glutamate. This in turns leads to overly increased acetylcholine levels. I find that people with HPPD are very sensitive to the glutamate acetylcholine balance. I know exactly how your feeling though man. I took a supplement that increased my glutamate levels by 20 percent and it's been absolute hell. Suicidal thoughts, extreme sadness, tearfulness, inability to experience pleasure. Horrible horrible sleep. Here's a list of symptoms for high acetylcholine. Only thing that has helped me is getting on Lexapro to increase serotonin to "compete" with the acetylcholine and benzos. Hope to be off both when I settle down. http://mindrenewal.us/page13.html

I'll try and get the results, but it was for a clinical trial so we shall see.

I had an eeg done recently that showed strange brain wave patterns. The doctor said it looked similar to a schizo patient but that I was some quasi borderline case. I was like well HPPD is weird like that lol

I know this thread is kinda old but I wanted to put out a word of warning for racetam use. I took Oxiracetam and coluracetam for two months and developed a full blown HPPD relapse and what seems like permanent muscle twitching. HPPD's cognitive/emotional component definitely has roots in acetylcholine I advise against messing with it.

So recently I started using a nootropic medication called Oxiracetam in conjunction with coluracetam. At first it was a magical experience. I had empathy the likes I hadn't felt in years, drive and motivation to get work done, improved cognition that surpassed even what I had pre HPPD. However, After two months I started to notice some symptoms that were similar to the ones I got when I first developed HPPD- fumbling of words, decreased appetite. So I stopped the medication. Within two days I started having some HORRIBLE withdrawals. It was (and still is, albeit moderately better) like HPPD on steroids. I did some digging and found that a select few have experienced long lasting symptoms after cessation as well. These individuals seem to be in the same percentage as those who develope HPPD, and their symptoms are shockingly similar. While the entire mechanism of action of almost all racetams are unknown, I believe this similarity is something we can learn from. It seems like for some peoples, when they jack up their acetylcholine production/usage their brains adjust to it and don't return to baseline. I've noticed when I use any drug that affects acetylcholine it becomes semi permanent leading to massive dis regulation. Wonder if anyone has any thoughts? http://selfhacked.com/2013/07/17/why-i-dont-supplement-with-piracetam/#70_Case_Reports_From_Around_the_Web

I feel like I should also say I've been participating in a clinical trial recently for MRT which is an offshoot of TMS. They use EEG and fine tune a proticol for how much juice they flow into you based on what your brain needs. A step up from TMS where they just have a pre set amount they give to everyone. The doctor said my Brain waves looks similar to someone with schizophrenia even though I don't have that. Found that to be very interesting. They've corrected a lot of my brain wave function however I feel like my HPPD symptoms are masking any measurable positive outcomes from this. I think I could ask the doctor to specifically focus on some different areas of the brain related to HPPD. Any suggestions?

Yep, definitely getting worse. Starting to feel just awful again. I was so hopeful because the last seven days had been going so well. Anhedonia starting to return, listlessness and hopelessness, anxiety about living the rest of my life with HPPD and the suicidal thoughts that come with it. I'm too anxious to off myself though xD which is ironic. Also extremely physically uncomfortable. Ug. I wish I could find something to give SOME relief, but there seems to be nothing. I've had concussions my entire life since the age of three. The worst one was almost ten years ago from a skiing accident. I developed a lot of HPPD symptoms from that one actually, I feel like TBI and HPPD have a lot in common. I also noticed a rocking of walls when I looked where a wall meets a ceiling, even before taking psychedelics. I have keppra prescribed to me right now but I'm afraid to try it. I read your post when you started it about sociopathic feelings and that was one of my symptoms when I first got HPPD. It was awful to be able to feel lonely but also not care about people. Real catch 22. Taking Oxiracetam helped me get back to some sort of caring. I imagine I would get this symptom again by taking keppra and fear it wouldn't go away like before. But at the same time I'm suffering so fucking much I might just have to take it. Has the irritability and sociopathic tendencies gone away for you with keppra? You also said you take it sometimes, so not every day? This is such a horrible disorder and I wish the world would come to our aid. No one cares about druggies though, the world sees it as our fault (like I ever in my wildest dreams could have imagined a hell like this one lol, would never have touched drugs) and there's no money in researching HPPD. I responded very well to having more dopamine initially. Like I almost felt emotionally well again not to mention physically comfortable for the first time in a long while. How was your experience with amantadine? I'm trying to call my doctor today and perhaps try it.

I think I will cut the dosage to 3x 1/2 a pill and see how that goes. It seems if I take a whole one in the morning I get in a bad mood later in the evening. Interestingly enough I responded very very well to Oxiracetam at first at least. My HPPD all but vanished. Visuals got better slowly (in fact taking a benzo would bring them back) my memory was super sharp (ie could remember names dates and facts only being told once), I was talkative and outgoing. My mood was very stable, I felt like me not only before HPPD but before I had a TBI at 16. Coming off it though I experienced symptoms of extremely high and extremely low acetylcholine which is very interesting. Seems like maybe certain receptors in the HPPD brain tend not return to the normal stasis after stimuli. I'm on Sinemet, lexapro (10mg), Ativan (1mg), trazadone (50mg for sleep), melatonin (10mg), taurine (1000mg), methyl folate (15mg) I take the lexapro and Ativan in the evenings when I notice I'm getting cold chills, feeling sad/tearful, hoplesness etc (all high acetylcholine issues due to pushing out serotonin I think, competitive neurotransmitter) I notice a big difference within 45 min of doing so. I know a lot of HPPDers don't respond well to ssris but emotionally they help me stay stable. Not sure about what they do to my visuals though, as I haven't gone off it since I've had this return of them. What are you taking now? I'm still very interested in trying memantine or amantadine. Baclofen reduces acetylcholine in the hippocampus while memantine increases it. I'm interested to see if I respond well or negatively to the memantine.

So today I took a nap and woke up feeling awful. Doomed, tearful, sad. It seems like my acetylcholine just keeps ramping up the more I sleep. During the night I wake up at least 5 times. The Sinemet was working fairly well from the hours of 9-1 but I experienced an emotional crash after. Also getting chills. My symptoms seem to sync up with high acetylcholine. I'm terrified of going back to the way I was feeling. I have keppra prescribed to me but I'm terrified to try it. It's a racetam and I've had this horrible resurgence of HPPD because of Oxiracetam. I responded very well to oxi at first but once I came off it lots of bad juju. It upregulates glutamate receptors quite a bit. They do work in almost opposite ways though. Keppra rage terrified me. Oxiracetam got rid of my anger issues and I don't want them to come back. http://mindrenewal.us/page13.html

Yes Gman I've had many experiences with chest tightness. I believe it correlates to acetylcholine drugs like coluracetam make this MUCH worse http://mindrenewal.us/page13.html

I am in Stamford Connecticut. I have a doctor who is so so about what HPPD is but with studies and logical choices I have been able to get him to prescribe Sinemet and keppra. He also has prescribed me strange drugs such as high doses of baclofen when I told him I had been prescribed it for a physical issue and experienced intense psychological stability for the first time since getting HPPD (effect lasted 6 mo on baclofen, had side effects don't recommend it. Took care of most of my addictive personality/may have cured a brief stint with alcoholism. this effect has lasted after discontinuation) he is a smart man and willing to try new things within reason. He is however pretty expensive (300-350 a visit)

You give it a shot 50s?

Also, how has gabapentin helped? I've heard it can be addictive/has tolerance issues? I know I definitely have a problem with gaba from head trauma made increasingly worse through psychedelic use.

Makes sense! for the first four days on it I felt amazing emotionally- much more engaged with my environment and talking to people/laughing etc. since then it seems to have dropped off a little bit but unfortunately still has a wonderful effect. Before I couldn't feel and had 0 motivation. Cried a lot around evening and felt I truly could not go on anymore. I haven't had a suicidal thought since I took my first dose. It hasn't done anything for my memory and organization however. In terms of visuals I have visual snow and mushroom like growing/shrinking of objects. It's been so long with my vision problems I didn't realize I also had a strange fish eye kind of effect that accompanied derealization. The Sinemet didn't help the prior visuals but when the derealization got better so did this fish bowl effect. I'll make sure to post my story soon. I'm still having some motivational issues and am cognitively kind of tired but I hope to do it soon. I was wondering what other medications you are on visual? Are you still taking the amantadine? Ever try memantine? I was on baclofen for about 7 months and reacted very positively at first, I believe because of the nmda antagonism + increased gaba like effects. Other mechanisms of action I think really made me unable to take it at the end though (extreme anhedonia, (decreased acetylcholine in certain areas leading to an almost sociopathic/calculating view of the world. It also caused hyper sexuality for quite some time which is a side effect,albeit it a rare one, of nmda antagonists. Lost someone I loved very much because of those last two symptoms >_<) And thank you! I hope this is my first step to becoming even a slight more functioning person. Rock bottom hurt, but it's gotten me here at least.

No I haven't told my story yet. I think it's a very interesting one as it involves early onset of symptoms before hallucinogen use and use of other non hallucinogenic nootropic substances that had profound effects on my symptoms. Where would I post it? Here? And any reason I should be careful with titration? I'm taking the full 25/100 x2 daily now with fantastic success. With the exception of today (I think I activated some symptoms through strenuous exercise. Acetylcholine related symptoms) it's been nothing but good. I'm very happy to be starting my involvement in this community )) It's been a terrifying two and a half years since I've been experiencing the worst of my HPPD symptoms and without reading about some of this medications success, yours included, I would still be in an enormous amount of psychological pain.

I've had HPPD for 3 years but after using the nootropic medication Oxiracetam for two months this past fall I developed persistent muscle fasciculations all over my body in addition to a severe aggravation of other HPPD symptoms like DP/DR, anhedonia, overall physical discomfort, anxiety, suicidal thoughts etc. Sinemet has reduced the amount of twitches by about 95 percent I would say in addition to at least a 70 percent decrease in other symptoms. I have only been on it a few days however and cannot say it will last forever. But I think responders to Sinemet need less as time goes on not more so we shall see.

I just started Sinmet today and I believe this is going to be a game changer for me. I've suffered from intense anhedonia since acquiring HPPD and lately it's been so bad I can't even feel anything when I laugh. After taking it today I noticed my body felt much more comfortable. I also watched some comedy with my friends and actually enjoyed it. I'll post more about my experience tomorrow I just wanted to throw my hand up as a supporter for this drug. Hope it lasts. 25/100 x2 a day