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Onemorestep

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Everything posted by Onemorestep

  1. For me the worst thing I got is anhedonia and that happened after 9 months on baclofen. I think the intense GABA agonism screwed with my reward system somehow. Keppra brings back my ability to enjoy things though and I speculate it's because it's bringing some of those semi permanently misfunctioning GABA receptors back into the normal fold of activity. But it's all just speculation.
  2. I agree with you that it's definitely brain damage in part at least. The medications I've used to treat the synptoms I believe are just modulating what remaining cells I have left to make the overall functioning more like it was before but it usually doesn't last and has unfortunate side effects. I think my next goal is to get stem cells shot into my brain in Thailand and see if that does anything. Even then I'm dubious since I believe a lot of my problems are coming from hypothalamus issues from oxidative stress due to the oxiracetam. Not sure how I could get stem cells that far into the brain.
  3. I find this to be a very interesting topic especially in regards to keppra and how sometimes it can help hppd so much. See keppra can negate the effects of negative alosteric modulators on GABA receptors in the hippocampus. Who knows for the rest of the brain. I don't think it has to do with the reduction in glutamate activity that helps the hppd. In fact with my experience with racetams such as oxiracetam increasing glutamate funnction made my visuals all but disappear. I have a hunch that keppra corrects malfunctioning GABA receptors in the brain which allows for its beneficial effect. It does however have a multitude of other mechanisms of action and those can lead to unsavory side effects such as abnormal thinking and anxiety etc. I've read somewhere it decreases neurotransmitter release of acetylcholine and that can cause anxiety in some. I had way ramped up acetylcholine function from using too much coluracetam and keppra helped with that so much with those high symptoms. Especially the physical ones and depressive symptoms. In fact a lot of my dopamine disjunction was corrected when I got my acetylcholine levels down because of their competitive nature. Haha the decrease in acetylcholine was so fierce that I actually felt kind of manic for three days every time I increased the keppra before my receptors sensitized to normal levels. if I had to guess there are many components to hppd involving acetylcholine function, glutamate function, dopamine function, and GABA function. http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1038/sj.bjp.0704766/full
  4. So in the last week of august this year I started keppra and had enormous success with cessation of the cognitive and emotional aspects of hppd. It was truly more than I could ever have wished for in a single drug. However I did notice my hair started falling out a lot more than usual. Especially in the shower. I always had tons of hair so it took me a while to notice that it was indeed thinner. But by the time i stopped taking it its gotten a lot thinner. Ive always had the kind of hair where i would need to use product to keep it from being so poofy. Now i dont need to which is a place but it is noticeably thinner especially at my widows peak. The hair loss seems to be permanent. Unfortunately, I took some ritalin at the end of september (not knowing that this is one stimulant that should deff not be used by people with hppd) and it caused some strange reaction in the state of my hppd and the keppra started giving me extreme physical anxiety in my stomach when taken. So i titrated off it. This is where the second and most scary fucking drug side effect I have ever had developed-- I got peyronies disease. For those of you who are unfamiliar with peyronies it is when scar tissue forms in the penile tissue and causes changes in length, girth, and shape of the penis. Its taken a few months but the pain has subsided for the most part and the change in shape has seemed to stop but holy shit it was and still is scary. Last time I tried to take even a small dose of keppra in january it caused penile pain for a while. Now some might ask how I know this was the keppra? I guess i cannot prove it for sure in any way but I do remember how last year I took oxiracetam (keppra is in the same class of drugs) and when I went off of it I got peyronies in my perineum region. It didnt effect the actual size of my penis so I didnt think much of it. However it happened overnight and right after I stopped taking the drug. I found one person on the internet who also noticed after starting keppra they got peyronies and am soon to be in contact with a man on a peyronies forum who suffers from it due to racetam use. Now Im only posting this so people can know that keppra can sometimes cause very odd and unusual symptoms. As can all racetams. They are powerful drugs. I still believe everyone with hppd should try keppra though. It truly can change your life! Im still deciding whether i would rather have these symptoms go away so i can feel again even if I lose my penis. Scary thoughts. soon i will be seeing a neurologist and im going to try and figure out exactly why keppra was helping me although its a very unresearched drug so im not too hopeful. hope you are all well, Onemorestep ** update: I did not have Peyronies disease. As far as I can tell, it is a fascia disorder which is causing constriction all over my body. Imagine a wet wool glove in the dryer with a severed hand in it. The hand being my body... anyways thought I should update on this so no one is afraid to take keppra. Luckily, I have no issues with size (thanks papa for the genes haha) or ability to have sex now Peace and love. -OMS
  5. I have a methylation problem and have to take it everyday. I've never had an issue with it. Don't have the bottle on hand right now but I think Im taking around 700 percent daily intake and have taken 1333 percent before without issue. Tbh I've found it to be benign stuff and don't notice any cognitive problems or emotional issues. Everyone is different though! When did Dr. Abraham retire?
  6. Very interesting. I would like to see more of this! I've been on benzos for about 4 months now after a break of about two years. Unfortunately I feel I am getting a bit reliant. Hopefully I'll be able to get off again soon. Last time I found that baclofen was very efficient at getting me off benzos. However, it came with a litany of side effects (euphoria, hyper sexuality, made me kinda a jerk, then complete anhedonia followed by brutal withdrawals when I stopped. Got me off drinking though so thats good) so I don't recommend it. I was on 120 mg a day at my max I think but mostly took around 100.
  7. Thanks for the response! The doctor told me that it doesnt cross the blood brain barrier so I think that means I'm safe. Although I had to delay my trip i should be taking it soon.
  8. I have had interesting results with valerian. If I take it every day at 800 mg at night I have a huge reduction in DP. I'm talkative and happy during the day and notice a big difference in my social life and general happiness. However after a week I start noticing anxiety during the day and after cessation of valerian panic attacks for about a week to 10 days. This is after 7 days of valerian use. Recently I tried every other day and had a similar experience. It's something I think I can use every once in a while if I want to have a great day the following day but long term use isn't worth it and makes things worse than before m while withdrawing. It is interesting bough. I've heard it works on benzo receptors? Not 100 percent on that. Either way I think they effect the brain for much longer than you can "feel" it in the system
  9. Has anyone had any issues with malaria medications like atovaquone-proguanil? I'm going to Thailand, Vietnam, and Cambodia this month and am very worried about having a bad reaction to the medication. My hppd is very very sensitive. I can't do any drugs or even drink without severe downstream effects that last months (I'm not sure I really recover when I do them, just change into a different chemical state). Any experience or advice people have would be wonderful! Much love
  10. This was very pleasant to read Glad you are feeling well!
  11. I have to say I was a little bit nervous when I started it because I am one of those HPPDrs that is incredibly sensitive to most substances. I'm so sensitive its hard to explain to people why even a few sips of alcohol can send me into funks for weeks or why I have to look up ingredients on things so often to see if I'm going to have a reaction. The ginkgo and Ashwagandha in particular are things I have been sensitive to in the past. The only reason I think this is working is the combination of the ingredients. If i take either ginkgo or ashwagandha on their own, I feel some negative effects-- but not when combined with everything here. Now, if you have the time, money, and energy to integrate these substances into your life naturally I applaud you. For me, I needed something that would get me well enough so I could start helping myself. I'm at college right now and Its hard enough to find time to make a healthy dinner. So for me it's part convenience. Additionally, I do not believe that "pills" should be a last resort. Take thiamine cocarboxylase-- it seems to have helped a lot of people on this website. Myself included. But I've taken regular old thiamine before and it didn't have the profound effect. For those of us that have benefited, it seems we have some sort of thiamine diphosphokinase enzyme malfunction and aren't properly making our own. For us, the only way to get this crucial vitamin would be through supplementation. I also have to take methyl-folate because of a mthfr gene mutation. Sometimes just healthy living doesn't cut it. Inositol also comes to mind for me. That stuff really helps me, but theres nooo way I can get therapeutic doses of that through consuming food. I spent a full year just abstaining from everything but i do feel like I hit a kind of recovery wall where I was no longer getting better. I wasn't well enough though to live any semblance of a normal life though so I started to take some informed chances. Trying keppra was a big one and I was terrified but it has improved my life in ways I never thought possible. So I still encourage some experimentation because they can at least provide some direction to focus on. Perhaps there are things in this mix that aren't doing me a service but i know some things are! I can look for foods high in these nutrients etc; start weeding things out. It can be an arduous road but can pay off. But it never hurts to live healthy and people should start with that even if they also want to pursue other venues of healing. I'm sure if I continued to eat shit all the time like I used to I would feel bad, just as someone without hppd would. I appreciate the feedback and I love it when people give their thoughts on what has helped or hurt them so people can make informed choices on how to proceed with their recovery. This disorder really has no specific standardized treatment (hell for me klonopin makes my emotional state much worse and thats the gold standard for a lot of people) so all we can do is just put out was has helped and what hasn't for us as individuals and hope it will benefit others in some way.
  12. It's been a few weeks and I've been taking the recomemded 5g of the first 13 ingredients and 10g of all of them (some overlap there I guess). I can say this supplement blend has had a profound effect on my life! I sleep better, focus better, have more energy and am more emotionally stable. Definitely recommend it to all those who can afford. It's called Sacred Seven and Genisis Gold. I've given it to one friend who has a mild case of HPPD. She had an immediate positive response saying to me "does this have dopamine in it? I feel really good!" (She doesn't know much about neuro haha)
  13. How bizarre! Well there has to be different mechanisms for some individuals with hppd. I recognize that not everyones brain chemistry is the same. I'm glad things worked out for you!!!
  14. Please do! You tried brivaracetam right? What was that like?
  15. That's good to hear! I agree as long as you aren't trying N a bunch of new things continuing the taper sounds just fine. 2 hours huh. That's rough! I wish you the best of luck. Benzos are rough to get off
  16. I would not go off klonopin until you know how these effect you and then go VERY slowly. Racetams increase glutamate receptor density. Benzo withdrawal makes glutamate go off the charts. The combined effects could be very negative for your brain health.
  17. I would not go off klonopin until you know how these effect you and then go VERY slowly. Racetams increase glutamate receptor density. Benzo withdrawal makes glutamate go off the charts. The combined effects could be very negative for your brain health.
  18. There are also anectodal reports of racetam tolerance where they stop working after x months. I've seen only a few reports of people using racetams with HPPD. I don't know if they were commuted users Every racetam is different and I don't know if any have been studied mixing them. Be careful.
  19. Oh and I forgot, LOAD UP ON ANTIOXIDANTS. Racetams can cause oxidative stress in the hypothalamus. This is what I believe has caused the majority of my hunger, thirst, and sex problems. Very important you do this.
  20. That is a LOT of racetams to start throwing at your brain. Use of oxiracetam gave me problems with speech after about a month. Abrupt cessation of it afterwards caused a plethora of negative cognitive effects I'm still struggling with up to a year later. While it was working though it gave me great benefit. Coluracetam was incredibly harmful Some people react very badly to racetams. It seems to be a small percentage but I unfortunately seemed to fall into that category. I was incredibly suicidal for a long time afterwards and still struggle with this today. I have permanent sexual dysfunction from their use, can longer tolerate any amount of alcohol without downstream effects lasting for weeks. I have problems with sleep and hunger responses. (For 4 months after racetam use I had no hunger or thirst response and complete inability to achieve erection. Hunger and thirst returned with about 70 percent of my erection quality and 70 percent of normal lust. Reliant on erectile dysfunction medication now. Aniracetam is a 5ht2a agonist like hallucinogens. I would avoid it. Noopept has been shown to make HPPD worse anecdotally. Honestly, if I can the advice it would be to not take these. Whatever mechanism causes HPPD is sensitized to how these meds work. You could find yourself in HPPD x2000 like I did. Or maybe not. Let us know how it goes Whatever you do DO NOT STOP ABRUPTLY any racetam you have been taking for a while. All the horror stories I've read that seems to have done the most damage. Ween off. I wish I had. Remember, scientific research on racetams is pretty scarce. Lots of rodent studies though. I think they have the potential to really help with our disorder but as of now there needs to be more human studies.
  21. So far so good! It seems like Im sleeping better for sure. Nothing negative to note so far.
  22. Well I've been taking it last two days. No bad reactions so far. It's a blend so I can't really know how much of each of these I take but the total amount equals to 10.5 grams daily
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