TheGman6072

Jay, I'm not on any meds right now. Another HPPDer did give me codeine, tramadol, Keppra and Buspirone a few times. Was supposed to get a 2 months supply but we got caught. Also maybe I should do something. I know when I get out of the house, I barely think about HPPD but when I get bored, I sit there and stare at my visuals

Would I be able to walk into a store and get it myself since I'm under 18 ?

i seem to be losing interest in my current interests. I feel stoned like 90% of the time

But if we already have memory problems, then fuck it just take it

I'm officially at the 2nd most depressed point in my life and I'm feeling more depersonalized than ever. So I took some of the advice and this is what is happening : -staying sober isn't doing shit. No improvements in my visuals either. - excersize seems to fuck me up now. I used to get a very good feeling from long distance bike riding. It used to feel like a weak but nice acid trip when I would ride then sit down on a bench. Now it feels like I am having a bad trip when I do it ! i get more nervous because my friend who I ride around with is with me the entire time and I'm afraid he thinks I'm on drugs or something - just laid off the soda and going without caffeine is killing me ! - I was told to socialize more but I really can't find motivation to talk to all of my friends and some of them are kinda worried that I returned to doing drugs. I really only talk to one friend now plus I haven't been to school in almost 3 weeks - not being in school for a long time drives me mad. Being told to quit school and focus on recovery is total bullshit cuz now that I'm not in school, I'm going mad ! Being at school was more comfortable. I got kicked out of my school because of prescription pill possession. I did return to the school during lunch hours to hang out with friends and people were shocked to see me. Apparently since I had been gone, people heard about what happened and some thought I had overdosed and died. - eating healthy is hard. Most of the time I don't feel like eating at all and I'm getting skinnier and skinnier. This has been an ongoing issue since July. - still working on getting medications prescribed. Should get Buspirone soon but as soon as I asked my parents for Effexor too, they freaked out and started crying "OMG that is the mindset of a drug addict" and now my parents are withholding the next appointment. I believe they are just trying to torture me because me and the doctor PROVED that Buspirone and Effexor can not be abused ! Sorry for the long paragraph but any other advice would be great

Dr.50's, Then why the fuck you always act like you know about it like you're a doctor ?

Should I ask for this instead of Buspirone ?

They would all make me tired but atleast I could think clearly and look directly at objects and focus on them

I believe every med I have taken made me feel like that except Buspirone

Everything I look at appears to move back and forth but idk what that's called. Also, the "seeing doubles" I believe is called ghosting images

I get better sleep by waiting til I am very tired. If I'm lucky, I get 7 hours. When I close my eyes, it seems bright. It's like I'm sleeping while the lights are on despite being in the dark. Do things that make you very sleepy and you should sleep more

Don't just stop taking it right away over some side effects. Take it for 2 weeks and if the side effects don't stop after a couple weeks, then stop taking it

I still get them but only when I have my phone on full brightness and my eyes get watery

Try not to mix it with other meds at first so you know exactly what Effexor does by itself. what dose did you get prescribed ? What other meds you on ?

I have been very depressed the past few days and it seems to be getting worse. Hopefully I get prescribed Buspirone today

The anxiety isn't as big of an issue as it once was but still bad.

SEIZURES ? would it be unsafe to mix it with Buspirone ?

My appointment is tomorrow and the psychiatrist is very open to Buspirone which I plan to try again for 2 weeks. I am thinking about asking for Effexor. What are your thoughts/experiences with this ?

Ever close your eyes in the dark but it is bright ? I close my eyes and it seems like the lights are on when they are off

The worst thing for somebody with HPPD is having a flashlight shined in your face ! I've been sent into 2 minute trips because after having the light shined in my face, there were blotchy colors taking over almost my entire vision and I was going nuts and it sent me into a derealization craze for the rest of the day

It's the worst when trying to pay attention in class

These moments happen very often for me but they are not very scary to me but when they start I can like physically feel it start. I always question if things are real or if I'm hallucinating since everything looks fake as shit

The tea is kinda gross and I've become very sensitive to weird tastes and my gag reflex is very sensitive now so I might end up vomiting if I try to drink it

So my parents argue that I never show any "signs of HPPD". Well that is because it's inside and I never told anyone that something was wrong. They say that they never noticed any facial expressions of discomfort from the visuals or any strange behavior. To me this just shows how good I am at acting normal but I get very angry and tell them to fuck off and stop dismissing something that they know absolutely NOTHING about. Did anyone else ever get told this kind of shit when telling family or friends about HPPD and depersonalization ?

God I'm stupid ! Lol just realized Kava is the tea stuff I have ????. I've only used 2 of them