2muchmandy

Maybe man, i was getting better apart from trails :/ they just happened like 2 weeks ago so. WTF is going on

thought about a shrink? im askin to get refered to one, vents alla that shit out, lets you try chill im also curious to the rage aspect of keppra, i get really aggitated and worked up sometimes so i dunno if a rage enducing drug would benefit me atal. i really wanna try something though and nip this shit in the bud. i need to get a new job soon so id like to be able to not worry about freakin out whilst learning a new environment/job

It got better its kinda bad again, as i said i hate the fluctuation of symtoms, it constantly fucks me up. almost healed one day...ill the next.

Hang in there man, think of the wee man! Fuck that I try not to watch trippy/depressing things, cant handle it. Im just edgy cos my CEVS were mad last night and i got a little frightened.

10 min of pressing against your eyeballs!? jeez dude you must've got some pretty blurred vision after that lol Noooo man, that happens without pressing my eyes. I dont manipulate or play with my vision. i shut my eyes and its just white static, mainly black..then it gets coloury then patterny, within 5-10 minutes its like a full on DMT trip

Its just shit life tends to kick me when im down then again, and again and again

Maybe theres pressure on our eyes. Mine look like that without pressing

Its just very hard. Gone through so much shit over the past 3 years with women. Buying a car that turned out to be stolen. Another car blew up the first day I. Owned it, losing my job hppd being skint. It all adds up and sometimes im just like fuck what do I do

Yeah I get that. Google dmt visuals or patterns. I get that after like 10 mins

How then do some heal if its genetic?

I cant imagine being that emotiinally out of touch. Iv always been very highly strung stressed out or depressed. Im 19 but my hairs turning white. only time I came close was on prozac. It just killed all emotions I had, that stuff was horrible. Been getting annoyed because my visuals wont stabalise. They change on a daily basis. I wish theyd make their fuckiln mind up. Sick of the constant roller coaster

Obviiusly emotional extremes and stresses are not good for hppd. How do you cope? Anxiety doesnt effect .y visuals too bad but depression does. Since I was child iv had depression issues verging on bipolar and to tell the truth I liked certain aspects of it. It enabled me to take a different outlook and viewpoint on the world. Also wanting to be a standup comic was helped by this as my sense of humour is similar to.that of doug stanhope and frankie boyle, quite dark. However obviously the depression and emotional dives are not good for hppd. How do u guys deal with things? I also get aggitated because of my ocd which makes things worse aggitating me further then leading to depressiin

Still havnt hsd an email

Strange eh. I wonder why hppd makes us see it sometimes. Fuckin wierd like. Ah well its not harmfull. As is the way with hppd it makes u thinj its gone then it scares you. Yesterday I had minimal snow. Trails didnt bother me. Maybe 5 after images ll day. No cevs. But then when almost asleep dmt like cevs, anxiety and then wake up to the tree vessells

Up til recently when I woke I would see thick b/w sparkly snow.in specks and groupings of.4... Like 4 circles in a ground amd then a break 4 more. After a rocky night sleep ( mad cevs ) I woke up to a cev,amd ir was sorta a cracked fractally pattern, when I opened my eyes and blinked I could see the white outine of all the cracks. Almost like I could see veins in my eyes...but white and allover my vision. Pretty nasty.

yeah red is murder for visual snow. i hate looking at red things

green is bad for me, im gunna paint my room creme

Iv had tinnitus since childhood thats come and gone but hppd has made it extremely bad at times. Excersize really helps, just gotta try drain it out, dont listen to loud music and itl go away, really best not to think about it. Its one of these things that can disappear over night. Mine got noticeably bad, infact almost unbearable when i saw dillinja playing on his " valve sound " soundsystem, i wish i hadnt been drunk hanging off the cage of the bass bins

creme is the best colour to look at. the snow is sorta, ghosty, its not coloured i can just see movement, on white objects the snow is tinged pale blue. on other colours its more white in the AM. when i first wake up for 10-15 seconds ( used to be 15 minutes ) the snow would be thick black and white specks. now my snow is thin...its mainly i can see the movement not the snow. like a light mist or rain, it seems blotchy

Ah my aunty in carolina has one of those ha! I first noticed it in my bathroom, we have sorta dark, glossy almost metallic paint, and my VS is less there than most rooms with regular flat paint. My bmx was sorta satiny green but i recently painted it matte yellow and like...when i look at it my snow is worse

oh wow beautiful! how long have you been singing/playing. Something iv never managed is to play and sing at the same time. Good that yours has improved, do you notice things improve sorta each year or does it stay fairly similar? The only area iv got worse is i now have trails, but theyr not big and dont bother me hugely

visual snow seems worse on matte surfaces actually :/ nice GTR is it yours? great news aswell ferrett, you sound well on the way to repair

Could you post up a link to some?

Its reasons like that im edgy when eating though. I think the worst part of my hppd is the OCD. Its not anxiety or paranoia anymore, thats gone, visuals are mild, mentally im pretty dam solid but its the OCD with worrying about my food, touching things, breathing chemicals. Its shit, but then again my friends wouldnt do that shit i dont thing