Worsening of Symptoms

[Spartan]

I feel like at this point in my life my symptoms are more vivid now and more intense now than they have ever been in my entire life.

I'm just wondering if person goes through serious life crisis or trauma can the condition be permanently worsened ? 

Quite concerned for this..

I don't mean to be Mr Neg or Debbie Downer lol

it just how things are. 

Edited June 16, 2023 by Spartan

[Jay1]

I'd say that stress is second only to drugs in terms of making the symptoms permanently worse. People think of stress as just being over worked or whatever, but it comes in many forms and is chemical based. As a severe hppd sufferer, your body will be under more stress than the normal person, no matter what you do. Then when a stressful life event happens, we get even more overloaded with cortisol and adrenaline. 

Have you ever tried beta blockers? I find they take away some of the psychical symptoms of hppd (they do absolutly nothing for the mental side though). 

[Spartan]

Hi Jay

This is valuable insight  to deepen my understanding.

Yeah it's kind of got me quite concrned. 

I have not tried a beta blocker yet although I would be keen to give  them a go..

Yeah it is kind of freaky the effects that stress has and I guess this  being be most stressful time of my entire life and has generally been pushing me quite close to the edge.

I will definitely look into beta blockers!

Many thanks again for your ongoing support etc ! 

[cosmiccharlie]

For me, consistent meditation has helped manage stress.  I know this can seem impossible when your ass is on fire, but I have found even taking a few moments to pause, breath and come back to the moment can help. Check out Tara Brach's program RAIN (see the link below).  Hang in there my friend.  

https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-light-rain-difficult-times-2/

https://www.tarabrach.com/rain/

[brake]

23 hours ago, Spartan said:

I feel like at this point in my life my symptoms are more vivid now and more intense now than they have ever been in my entire life.

I'm just wondering if person goes through serious life crisis or trauma can the condition be permanently worsened ? 

Quite concerned for this..

I don't mean to be Mr Neg or Debbie Downer lol

it just how things are. 

Yes sometimes when I'm angry or stressed out my visuals temporarily increase and it like comes over me in a wave but then my baseline is always less than that. Sort of like a "flashback" I guess but not really.

Edited June 17, 2023 by brake

[Spartan]

Thanks for recommendations and support Cosmic and everyone. 

To be honest my baseline has been taken to a completely new level all together.

Meaning my condition has been worsened due to what I have been through. 

Severe stress and trauma over time that I won't go into here.

Like my visuals are completely off the wall / charts (insane shit) DP is at a whole new level.

It's really scary. 

This is after abruptly stopping Klonopin / being hospitalised and with no taper.. 

I was using the medication as a patient to treat a chronic condition. Now what do I have.... nothing.  

No discharge after care plan, nothing.

WTF

Thankyou doctors. For the damage you have done.

Edited June 17, 2023 by Spartan

[brake]

1 hour ago, Spartan said:

Thanks for recommendations and support Cosmic and everyone. 

To be honest my baseline has been taken to a completely new level all together.

Meaning my condition has been worsened due to what I have been through. 

Severe stress and trauma over time that I won't go into here.

Like my visuals are completely off the wall / charts (insane shit) DP is at a whole new level.

It's really scary. 

This is after abruptly stopping Klonopin / being hospitalised and with no taper.. 

I was using the medication as a patient to treat a chronic condition. Now what do I have.... nothing.  

No discharge after care plan, nothing.

WTF

Thankyou doctors. For the damage you have done.

I really recommend Buspar (buspirone) because it decreases my anxiety and panic and improves my mood. Doctors don't hesitate to prescribe it and it's not addicting at all. Rarely has any interactions. It is nowhere nearly as strong as benzos though.

Edited June 17, 2023 by brake

[Jay1]

19 hours ago, Spartan said:

To be honest my baseline has been taken to a completely new level all together.

I don't think you can even think about a baseline until you are out of withdrawals, tbh. Where you are at now is not your baseline, it's far worse. In many respects, this is probably as bad as it gets for you (hppd wise), which is gonna be tough and hellish for a while to come, but you are also now taking day by day steps to returning to your actual baseline, which should be quite a lot more comfortable and manageable than where you are right now. 

 

[firehawk]

thought I had my baseline once I sober and had little alcohol and nicotine and and have had spikes a couple times but for me my symptoms are just permanently worse. My vision has been worse and the whole world looks fake. as well as i would consider I have severe vision snow. just straight pixels in the dark and can notice it a little in the day. I pretty much have no hope of getting any better cause i feel ive done alot right and have gotten so much worse. not trying to complain or anything just dont really understand this condition. Vision doesnt bother me too much atleast not yet and I live really happy life just vision getting bad especially vs.

[Spartan]

Thanks Jay appreciate this 

Although what's actually happening is that I'm undergoing a situation that is literally driving me mental.

Would have to be the most stressful and traumatic and horrible experience for anyone to go through even without chronic debilitating hppd.

I would like to share more though  I cannot due to confidentiality.

Thankyou.

I'm sorry to hear your condition has been made permanently worse firehawk.

[Spartan]

Possibly this is depersonalisation talking...

[sapphicc]

i cannot imagine what you're going through but i'm rooting for you. it may seem impossible now but stick in there! it's only up from here

[Hall89]

On 6/17/2023 at 3:50 PM, Spartan said:

This is after abruptly stopping Klonopin / being hospitalised and with no taper..

Wtf?! How can they do that, can't that cause a lethal seizure? And from what i've gathered, tapering off benzo too fast, usually causes withdrawals like severe HPPD, only that they're temporary. So one could say that you have HPPD x 2.