Small doses of psychedelics

[chase3438]

I have had hppd for maybe 6 years now. I had the most powerful spiritual experiences of my life on shrooms except for one terrible trip where I took way too much that lead to depersonalization. I have visual snow, tracers, halos and some other stuff. I feel like my iq dropped 20 points and I am more tired than I used to be. Has anyone else tried psychedelics after having hppd? I want to try to take fairly small but somewhat significant amount of shrooms again but am afraid of making the condition permanently worse. I have microdosed many times and I drink and smoke pot often. These things have never worsened my symptoms. I feel like since I already have It it would be hard to make it worse. I know anybody without experience with this would say not to go there but I would like to hear from somebody that has tried. 

[Jay1]

8 hours ago, chase3438 said:

I feel like since I already have It it would be hard to make it worse. 

This is the most dangerous thing to think. I have made my HPPD so much worse by taking relatively small amounts of mdma and ketamine when I thought there is no way i can make my hppd worse... There is ALWAYS another level. 

[cosmiccharlie]

Hello, 

I will preface this with the fact that this is about harm reduction, I am in no way encouraging you to continue using psychedelics. 

I first contracted HPPD as an 18 year old or so from extensive and excessive use of LSD and mushrooms and probably weed.  I actually continued tripping while noticing the symptoms and didn't fully stop until I had a bit of a psychotic break and went to the hospital on acid (not fun).  I then abstained for about a year or so after which I had a fairly intense mushroom trip.  For me I don't think much changed as far as symptoms go. However, I believe my HPPD was brought on by a high frequency of tripping.  In this case I tripped only once.  Fast forward several years (I think about 7) to when I was dealing with significant life changes and emotional difficulties.  This eventually led me to tripping again.  The difference this time is I tripped about 7 times in 7 weeks.  Unfortunately this brought back the visuals and DR/DP in a pretty bad way.  I then got sober and have maintained complete sobriety for about 2.5 years until recently (about 3 weeks ago) I consumed an edible which has possibly exacerbated symptoms.  

What I would like you take away from this is the following:

We are all different and what works for some may not for others.  I would evaluate how much HPPD has affected your life and answer the question whether you are willing to take the chance and make it worse.  The disorder can be debilitating and emotional hell after a certain point, so one needs to be ready to face those consequences.  Also, ask yourself and evaluate what you are really searching for through the shrooms and whether you can get it elsewhere.  

Personally, I believe psychedelics can be very helpful for spiritual and personal growth if used responsibly. 

For me, I have found that everything psychedelics gave me can be reached without them through the practice of meditation and mindfulness. 

I wish you the best. 

Take Care,

Nick 

Edited March 27, 2021 by cosmiccharlie
typos

[Fawkinchit]

Never will I understand why so many people want to do hallucinogens after getting HPPD.

[cosmiccharlie]

36 minutes ago, Fawkinchit said:

Never will I understand why so many people want to do hallucinogens after getting HPPD.

I think it's some form of insanity or delusion.  I myself have had HPPD for over 13 years and still haven't completely shut the door on hallucinogens.  I know it's crazy and potentially harmful but the pull is still there.  I haven't tripped in about 3 years and my symptoms are pretty mild.  It's weird I know. 

[Hall89]

On 3/27/2021 at 4:21 AM, chase3438 said:

I have microdosed many times and I drink and smoke pot often. These things have never worsened my symptoms. 

They have without a doubt removed your chances of actually recovering though. Afterall, cannabis is a known cause for HPPD and it's what caused it for me. So with it you've most likely kept the fire burning so to speak.

[Hall89]

18 hours ago, Fawkinchit said:

Never will I understand why so many people want to do hallucinogens after getting HPPD.

Then we're two. I don't even understand how people that don't have it - but know about it, dare to take the risk. There really is no high, trip or amount of money in the world risking this over. Honestly, i would rather have lost both of my legs and ability to speak than this, and if this is permanent for me i would rather have taken my chances with cancer, because if i haven't seen any reduction in symptoms in 1-2 years i'm done. I admire people that can go on living with this, but i wont.

[chase3438]

On 4/24/2021 at 11:21 AM, Hall89 said:

They have without a doubt removed your chances of actually recovering though. Afterall, cannabis is a known cause for HPPD and it's what caused it for me. So with it you've most likely kept the fire burning so to speak.

I decided not to try more for now. I know it's a late response but I'm back on here cause I'm considering it again. I went a full 5 years completely sober with no change in symptoms. If it isn't going to get better after 5 years then my chances of recovering are already gone in my view. 

[chase3438]

On 4/24/2021 at 11:35 AM, Hall89 said:

Then we're two. I don't even understand how people that don't have it - but know about it, dare to take the risk. There really is no high, trip or amount of money in the world risking this over. Honestly, i would rather have lost both of my legs and ability to speak than this, and if this is permanent for me i would rather have taken my chances with cancer, because if i haven't seen any reduction in symptoms in 1-2 years i'm done. I admire people that can go on living with this, but i wont.

I felt like this at some point but you adapt. That is what humans do. If you are still having the same level of symptoms after this long I would guess you have gotten more used to it by now. It takes a lot of time to grieve away the mind you used to have and accept life with the mind you have now. 

[chase3438]

On 3/27/2021 at 6:19 AM, cosmiccharlie said:

Hello, 

I will preface this with the fact that this is about harm reduction, I am in no way encouraging you to continue using psychedelics. 

I first contracted HPPD as an 18 year old or so from extensive and excessive use of LSD and mushrooms and probably weed.  I actually continued tripping while noticing the symptoms and didn't fully stop until I had a bit of a psychotic break and went to the hospital on acid (not fun).  I then abstained for about a year or so after which I had a fairly intense mushroom trip.  For me I don't think much changed as far as symptoms go. However, I believe my HPPD was brought on by a high frequency of tripping.  In this case I tripped only once.  Fast forward several years (I think about 7) to when I was dealing with significant life changes and emotional difficulties.  This eventually led me to tripping again.  The difference this time is I tripped about 7 times in 7 weeks.  Unfortunately this brought back the visuals and DR/DP in a pretty bad way.  I then got sober and have maintained complete sobriety for about 2.5 years until recently (about 3 weeks ago) I consumed an edible which has possibly exacerbated symptoms.  

What I would like you take away from this is the following:

We are all different and what works for some may not for others.  I would evaluate how much HPPD has affected your life and answer the question whether you are willing to take the chance and make it worse.  The disorder can be debilitating and emotional hell after a certain point, so one needs to be ready to face those consequences.  Also, ask yourself and evaluate what you are really searching for through the shrooms and whether you can get it elsewhere.  

Personally, I believe psychedelics can be very helpful for spiritual and personal growth if used responsibly. 

For me, I have found that everything psychedelics gave me can be reached without them through the practice of meditation and mindfulness. 

I wish you the best. 

Take Care,

Nick 

I am curious to know what your symptoms are. I didn't log back In until now because I decided not to for the time being but I am considering it again. I feel my symptoms were started by a traumatic trip where I took way too much but had the most beautiful experiences of my existence on lower doses before having a flash back of my traumatic trip right before the symptoms came on. I still feel like it might have been trauma from a bad rather than just the drug itself that caused the hppd. 

[SomebodySomewhere]

I feel like I can explain why some choose to continue pursuing psychedelics as an answer after having had HPPD go away:

Before I ended up with HPPD, I felt like I had some very deep experiences from psychedelics that showed me the errors of my ways, how to improve myself, and how we are all interconnected. I regret getting HPPD, but I don't regret any of those experiences. It felt like getting years of intense therapy within a 4-8 hour time span.

For those continuing to have rough lives post-HPPD, I can totally understand the desire to turn to psychedelics for answers to life. I'm not saying it's wise or smart, but I get it.