bpl4269

Yeah I figured it would be ok. I actually combined it with melatonin and it felt like i was on a dose of klonopin, swear to god. Zero anxiety and relief from dp/dr. Might be onto something here...

Thanks for the reassurance ferret, you have no idea how much it means to me. :-)

So I bought some relaxation tea that contains small amounts of catnip. I know that catnip in larger amounts can have hallucinogenic effects, so is there any real risk of this tea affecting me negatively. It seemed to chill me out pretty well. Not sure if it affected my visual symptoms. My starbursting has been bad today anyway. What do you guys think? My guess is that the risk is minimal.

So, my starbursting is back to normal. Just as bad or worse than before... fuck, im so discouraged right now. I swear every day I think about just offing myself, driving off the road into a goddamn tree or something. If it were just the starbursting, I could deal with it, but im so afraid this dp/dr isnt going to go away. I want me back...

If muscle tension is a problem i suggest using California poppy. It comes in the form of a tincture, is a mild sedative, anxiolitic, and muscle relaxant. It is perfectly legal and non habit forming. My two cents.

I have to take 500 mg amoxicillin 3x a day for lyme disease. Doesnt seem to affect my hppd. You should be fine.

Im sorry man but why the hell would you ever inhale computer duster or air freshener?? Im sure your a fairly intelligent person who just had some issues, but c'mon man... smoking spice wasnt exactly the greatest idea either. Granted, I thought about trying it, but heard some horror stories and never touched the shit. But in the end, whats done is done. Cant change the past.

My guess is you will never end up seeing a neurologist if it takes 15 months. The human body is fairly resiliant. Your problems will most likely resolve within that time frame.

One other thing. I think this website breeds a lot of negativity. I believe that despite all the people you see active on this forum, I think there are just as many who have recovered before they found this site or become inactive after their recovery. Keep hope alive everyone.

So ive decided today i'm done letting this take over my life. I think I have a great chance of recovery. If anything, the depersonalization should go away, and thats all that really matters to me at this point. I could care less about the mild visuals I have. Sobriety isnt a problem. Im gonna get out there and live my fucking life no matter what. Ive wanted to join a hardcore band for a while now, and I think thats what Im going to do. Thats where my heart is, and thats where im going. Im lucky that Im able to play the guitar and do hardcore vocals and I plan on cultivating that talent/interest. Im at the point of acceptance now and it feels fucking great. Ive let this overshadow what was important to me, and my passion for music. Im done sitting at home and feeling sorry for myself. Im going to get out in the world and get busy living.

No problems at all with this actually.

Sounds fucking perfect, im in. The island of misfit trippers. Lol

Nah, not yet. Only had this for about 3 months and have shown improvement so far, so im gonna try and wait it out. Dp is hellish though.

Any advice?

As of now ive realized that my own mother resents me. I can tell shes been holding it in for a while now, but she let it all out screaming in my face and completely losing her shit today. Its extremely hurtful. Im trying my best right now not to completely lose it. This all started when I decided to confide in her about what I did, (lsd), and the problems its causing me. This was months ago. I know since all this started, ive been irritable and rude a lot of the time because my life has turned to shit, but it seems like she takes it so personally. She has been totally unhelpful most of the time since ive aquired these problems and completely blew up in my face today. She was saying things along the lines of, "im tired of your bullshit, im tired of putting up with it, you did this to yourself, if you cant appreciate what you have, you can just move out. How about I look for one bedroom apartments for you and you can enjoy your life alone eating ramen noodles everyday on your minimum wage salary." First of all, she always gets angry for what I did and refuses to accept that things are the way they are for the time being. This makes it even harder for me to move past this. I try so very hard just to cope with my existence, rather than console her. If she had any idea of the mental anguish I go through on a daily basis, she would have never said those things to me. Im just trying to hold back tears right now, what do I do??

Mine was aquired from the use of lsd and smoking pot consistently for almost a year prior.

Do any of you with depersonalization feel like you cant speak? Almost like your choked up? I feel this and Im not sure whether this is because my own voice sounds strange to me and I avoid speaking, but this is stressful to me. I want to be calm and sociable again? Is this a common thing? Any advice?

I know its kind of dumb to even think about doing, but do you think ill ever be able to smoke pot again? I just loved it so much and it did so many good things for me.

Around 3 months.

Sure as hell hope so. So ready for this to go away.

Has anyone else had this experience?

Alright, so last night before bed I took 3 capsules of Valerian Root and 2 3 mg tablets of melatonin. This morning I woke up and my starbursts were greatly reduced. Still noticeable, but bearable. Normally I would see many filaments of light extending from any given light source, but today it was only noticeable on chrome surfaces, and it was much smaller and less defined. And also, there are bare lightbulbs in my basement that are normally a source of awful starbursting, but today there was virtually nothing coming from them. Only a faint halo and maybe a small filament of light extending outward at a certain angle. Nothing like the usual array of small and large beams covering my field of vision. So what do you guys think of this? I will be trying the melatonin again tonight and will report back tomorrow on my symptoms.

Used to have cloudy purple fractals that would sometimes turn red, but these have for the most part gone away completely.

Im basically in the same boat as you, but I have been trying to get out more lately. Try doing something for someone else too. Ive found that doing this gives me a sense of purpose amidst this dark abyss that is hppd/dp/dr. I too dropped out. I think this was a mistake though. Isolation only makes me feel worse and I find that the less and less I speak to others, the more estranged I feel from the person I used to be. I feel for you. You are not alone.

Im curious, how do you guys cope? Now that I cant smoke or do any drugs life is so difficult and painful. Its like there is nothing that gives me relief. Hobbies only occupy my time, I dont get any joy out of life. My concentration is shot. My personality is gone because of dp, and starbursting is driving me crazy. What can I do to give me some kind of relief? Is drinking totally out of the question, or will it worsen my symptoms? Is there any drug I can do to get some sort of relief?