bpl4269

Ever since i got hppd/dp/dr dragging my ass out of bed to go to my shitty minimum wage job has been the hardest thing for me. This being because when I go to work, I have to face the world, put on a facade, and endure physical and mental exertion for 8 hours straight. I dont ever want to talk to people, and when I do its usually forced. My boss and co workers treat me like shit too because they think im lazy because i do the bare minimum, but at this point im just trying to keep my head above water, to keep from totally losing it and punching someone square in the jaw. They know i have lyme disease as well so they must think im using it as an excuse to slack off. Before all this shit, i was the most outgoing, enthusiastic, hardworking person there. Now i just feel like a piece of shit on the bottom of my managers shoe. I dont know what it is but when any of them make some wiseass comment to me about how im slacking off, i get so angry and hurt because i know this isnt who i am and right now, im doing the best i can but apparently that isnt enough. Please help me, im feeling so depressed right now. My life is an absolute trainwreck with no meaning whatsoever. The worst thing about it though is the loss of my personality due to dp. I feel like im fucking dead inside.

I like this idea very much, hppd has made modern life so incredibly difficult for me.

Today I took 1.5 mg of klonopin. I feel so relieved right now. My dp/dr is virtually gone, i could care less about visuals, and im anxiety free right now. I was wondering if klonopin helps you guys this much. The problem though is that when it wears off i fall back into the dp/ anxiety cycle. And btw, is it normal to feel relief from klonopin for up to 2 days? Thats generally how long i feel relief from it for.

Yeah, I would definitely want to have a few chicks around and some good friends. Maybe fellow hppders. Would not like total isolation.

Ever since i first dropped lsd, ive had this overwhelming desire to go live in and be one with nature. The hppd made that desire even stronger for me. To get away from it all, all the bright lights, just this fucked up society in general. Go live on the beach somewhere tropical and live off the land. No need for a job, no bills to pay. Just pure bliss. How many of you are with me? I know there is a hippie inside all of us :-)

That was beautiful man, brought me to tears. I know your pain all too well...

I had this for about a month from hppd/dp/dr it went away in time. I know how much it sucks though. Keep your head up bro.

There is always hope my friend, just keep a positive mindset and you will more than likely overcome this. Keep in mind, there are very few cases of permanent hppd. Most cases clear up in months but it could possibly take up to a year to recover normal vision. A lot of my symptoms have actually cleared up. Im still in hell, dont get me wrong, but there is always hope for you and me. Just be glad your dp/dr isnt constant. Keep your head up :-)

Oh and im positive it was lsd that caused it.

Ive had it for 3 months now. The starbursting started about a week or 2 into it and has gotten worse slowly ever since. It seems that i have days of slight relief sometimes though. Its hard to tell.

So for the past couple months, it seems as if my starbursting has slowly gotten worse. At first it was only at night, now its all the time. I see it off of reflections from basically anything. The chrome on cars is the worst though. I also can see beams of light coming from windows in my house. Has anyone else experienced this? It causes me significant distress in my life and most of the time I dont go out because of it. Having this along with dp/dr makes life pretty awful though. Ive had other hppd symptoms in the past that have either disappeared or diminished. This is the only one that has seemed to have gotten worse. Will this go away at some point? Kinda losing hope right now.

Any other input would be greatly appreciated guys, lookin for any help i can get at this point.

Ive had dp/dr for 3 months now. My life is basically a living hell with this along with the hppd. For me my worst symptoms are dp/dr and starbursting from just about every light source or reflection you can think of. What i was wondering is if it is normal to feel like my personality has vanished with dp? I no longer really feel high from i but my mind is just blank most of the time. I basically just dont give a shit about anything anyone has to say anymore. I feel withdrawn socially and socially awkward. Is this normal for dp sufferers? Will i get my personality back?

Ok,so for the past 3 or so months I've been experiencing dp/dr as well as some visual disturbances as a result of using lsd and weed. I was smoking weed for quite a while prior to getting into lsd but on my fourth trip over the course of about a month and a half. (Yeah i know, went a little overboard.) I developed what i believe to be dp/dr and possibly hppd. Funny thing is, i didnt take much lsd that time around. It was only half a tab, but just enough to intensify the anxious feelings i was having at the time. Being the dumbass that i am, i decided to smoke some pot halfway through the trip to try and chill out. To no avail. On my way home that night i noticed a halo around a traffic light. Didnt think toomuch about it. Figured id sleep it off. The next day i woke up and felt totally strange. Didnt recognise my own hands or face in the mirror. Freaked me the fuck out. I also noticed tracers when i would move my hands. Over the course of the next 2 months, the tracing of my hands went away and the dp lessened slightly but i started to develop starbursting vision, at first it was at night, then it started happening during the day. I am also getting after images of these bright lights reflecting off of cars and shiny objects. The starbursts have slowly changed and gotten worse over the past month and a half and ive just about had it. Life is unbearable right now especially with the dp/dr and loss of my sense of self and personality. I have no motivation and havent been happy in the past 3 months. I feel like im losing it. I should also mention that at night when i look at a light and divert my eyes, i get traces. The same thing also hapoens when i wave my phone in front of my face. If i want to i can also make the floor morph if i stare long enough. My question to you guys is , do you think i have hppd? Will this shit subside in the near future? I cant take this anymore. The thing that worries me the most is the starbursting is getting worse every week even with complete sobriety and the dp still hasnt gone away. And finally i was also diagnosed with lyme disease and this shit started 1 week into my antibiotic treatment. At this point, basically all my physical lyme symptoms are gone but this dp/ visual disturbances are persisting. I just dont know what the hell is causing what. Please provide me with some insight or perspective guys. My life is a nightmare. Will this get better?