bpl4269

A week after I tried smoking weed again I had this one morning. It was really strange. It was like I was lying in my bed and there were transparent decapitated heads flying around my room, as well as this creepy guy whispering shit in my ear. He was flickering like a hologram too. I didnt let it scare me tho. I knew it wasnt real. Lol it has stopped since then though.

Wow, thanks merkan! Thats very encouraging! I havemt been letting the symptoms get to me so that should help. If anything im a bit depressed. Not even the least bit anxious anymore. There are actually some symptoms that I entertain myself with when Im bored. Lol

Oregano oil is for my lyme disease. Its to break up cysts that the antibiotics cannot get to. Actually my visuals havent really calmed down much :-( The positive afterimages arent as bad, but oddly it seems as if im reexperiencing old symptoms for a couple days at a time and then they are vanishing. Very strange. Trails are same. Luckily they are only really noticable against a dark background. So i can count my blessings there. I dont even see them during the day. Head pressure is no longer constant. Its slowly vanishing. I attribute that to my strenuous exercise regimen. Honestly, im very thankful that I can even go on long bike rides now and get the blood flowing. I couldnt do this before because derealization made it too hard. But that is next to nothing now. I do feel that I can beat this back again. Faster than before as well. I predict that dp will no longer be an issue in a month or so. I dont even give a shit about visuals anymore. The mental shit is the real killer. I have already accepted that i wont be able to smoke again. Im fine with it. This whole relapse has made me realize how much progress was actually made in these past four months, and im never going to take my mental health for granted ever again. Nor my visual health. Im just grateful that the weed didnt send me into full blown hppd. My coping skills have improved remarkably though. Im positive I can deal with any future struggle ahead with ease after this awful experience. Anyway. Im getting off topic. And btw, thanks for theadvice on the gaba. I will no longer be taking that. Good luck oneday! Thanks for all your support in this dark time of mine. If i could give you a big hug I would :-) haha no homo.

So, I decided to smoke weed like a dumbass a a week and a half ago. Since then ive had trails, positive after images, head pressure, fatigue, crazy dreams, and the past couple days, my depersonapization has gotten worse. Keep in mind, the head pressure and depersonalization only appeared a week after the experience. Im really scared of what my future holds. I feel like I was on the edge of recovery and I fucked it up. My depersonalization was almost entirely gone and now its worse again. Evenworse,im scheduled to go see family in virginia on a road trip in 3 and a half weeks. Do you think this will resolve in that time period? If not I dont know what im goingto do

Honestly, you probably do not have lyme disease unless you are having musculoskeletal pain. Unless of course you live in europe. Lyme in europe is usually more of the neurological variety. Sources: I have had lyme disease for 2 and a half years.

I decided that I wanted to try and smoke weed again, (stupid!) and it made my trails come back a litle and gave me positive afterimages as well as head pressure. Will I be able to recover from this again? Im so angr at myself for making things worse.

For the st johns wort, ive been taking the recommended dosage 3x a day. Other supplements ive been taking include probiotics ,omega 3s, inositol, choline, garlic, oregano oil, b complex, vit c, melatonin, gingko biloba, lions mane mushroom, gaba, vit e, and l theanine. Actually Im feeling cognitively slow again today which is a real downer. My stqmina seems down and my trails are slightly back. Alomg with positive afterimages really regretting smoking. I hope I can get on track again and rid myself of these anjoying visuals. Really angry at myself right now...

Yes! Amazingly i am able to do most things that I used to! I can even socialize at work with little issue. Im getting friends back again! Of course drug use is out of the question but people still seem to like who I am despite a the fact that I wont smoke with them. Although today, about five days after my stupid weed binge im starting to get head pressure. It sucks, but it probably wont last. Ive had it come and go before. I just have to be extra careful about what I put in my body for now. How are you doing oneday? Havent had the pleasure of speaking to you in a while. How ae ypur symptoms coming along?

So I havent been active lately on this website. Mostly because im just trying to live my life with as little reminders as possible about hppd. So lately ive been taking st johns wort and it has helped immensly with my depersonalization. I feel closer and closer to the person I was and now am. Reality is now within my grasp. Im getting motivation again and im so happy about that. Ive been going on long bike rides every day,eating organic food, and taking tons of healthy good supplements. I believe my depersonalization was due to a serotonin deficiency. I should also mention that I got a little carried away and thought I could smoke some weed again. Strangely it did not affect my depersonalization, but it drastically affected my visuals. Thankfully the geometric patterning I was seeing while high did not stay, but the weed did make my trailing of lights and pisitive after images slightly worse. I do have hope though that they will diminish again with healthy diet and exercise. So to conclude this thread, i highly suggest st johns wort for depersonlization. Give it a couple weeks or more though. It could take a little time to kick in. Stay healthy and happy guys. You can get through this.

Thats so fucked up man, I would fucking hunt that bitch down haha Karma is a bitch though, shell get hers. Your a very strong person dealing with full blown hppd for 25 years. Honestly I would never be able to forgive someone for something like that. Its just wrong on so many levels to spike someone with acid. Well I wish you a good day sir, hope you find some resolution in your life. You arent alone.

I wish I had the chance to take ayahuasca before all this bullshit happened lol But thats kinda strange that they would purposefully make themselves nauseous every morning to cleanse their systems. I absolutely hate the feeling of nausea.

Advice for all you kava drinkers out there. So I've been drinking kava for the past couple weeks for anxiety and everything was going good with the traditional brewing method, but last night i decided to blend it and then strain it. Boy was that a mistake... Ended up throwing up for a good half hour because the extremely fine particles irritated my stomach. So stick to the traditional method of brewing and your golden :-D

Kinda wish I kept going to my college classes. Wouldve been good exposure therapy for dp.

Did you work when you were dealing with hppd? If so how did you cope on a day to day basis? This is probably the toughest thing I must deal with mentally.

You always ease my mind man, thanks. :-) youve been a good friend to me on these forums and for that I am eternally grateful. Ive been having so many ups and downs lately, its so disconcerting.

I also get manic when I take over 1 mg of klonopin. I take risks, do stupid shit, and I also have problems spending too much money.

Basically I believe im bipolar because after my first time taking lsd I experienced only what I could describe as intense euphoria and everything seemed so meaningful to me. Basically mania. I was so happy, but after the third time I tripped I became extremely depressed/depersonalized with suicidal thoughts. It feels like ive been at two totally opposite ends of the spectrum and my mood is very unpredictable. Ive got problems with my identity too which is very common with bipolar. I feel like I no longer know who I am and what I stand for. I also have a very addictive personality. I even picked up the habit of smoking recently. Helps me clear my head. Cant imagine it helps long term though. I regret ever starting.

Pretty sure im bipolar as well. Im so fucked. Lyme disease, hppd, and bipolar! I dont think life could get any worse at this point.

Ive been traditionally brewing waka con kava lately, its so much better than the tincture. Makes me feel clear and incredibly relaxed. Very potent, I dont know if youve used it onedayillsailagain but its the bomb. :-) makes me feel like my life is somewhat normal now. I cant stand being drugfree/straightedge.

Ever since this depersonalization started along with the hppd I feel as if ive lost my morals/identity. I dont give a fuck about anything or anyone else anymore. I feel like such a selfish piece of shit. Ive just got this fuck the world mentality and its truly no way to live your life. I used to take such pride in being a good person no matter what. Now I feel like all I think about is myself and I absolutely hate myself for it. I dont know what to do or how to feel anymore. I feel like the bitter fucked up person I used to be in high school. Honestly, this world would be a better place without me. It feels like I went from an incredibly meaningful existence to a disturbingly pointless chasm of eternal darkness that I dare call my life. I struggle to find meaning in my life every day but its as if its vanished. It feels like every day im mourning the loss of the happy go lucky, giving, carefree person I used to be. Its like ive lost someone very close to me and where there used to be happiness, all that remains is a lifetime of regret and sadness. Will I ever find the person I used to be again? Im slowly losing hope... sorry, had to get that off my chest.

Holy shit, so messed up on kava right now, better than alcohol for sure. Just made a brew from some potent roots and I feel drunk as hell from it. This will be my new weed substitute for sure.

I wouldnt even worry about kava, Ive read numerous times about it and its effects on hppd and most if not all people were not affected by it negatively. As for the liver damage; that is a myth. That was started when people were either taking it in combination with alcohol and the liver damage was blamed on the kava, or the manufacturer of the kava put the bark and leaves of the plant in with the kava root, which causes the mixture to be toxic and cause liver problems if taken in excess. The root itself is very safe and has been taken by the people of the south pacific for centuries without a single reported death or associated liver issues. Just make sure what you get is pure kava root only and you shouldnt have any issues.