cs1234

Dr is derealization. Its similar to dp and usually accompanies it. Dr is like having the feeling that nothing is real...kind of the feeling that you are living in a dream. It's a really strange and scary feeling. You really shouldn't be smoking anymore though. It just makes visuals worse and increases anxiety. Also I've heard of people getting dp from just weed but it's rare. Also if it's been 3 years and you havnt gotten dp or dr then just try to forget those things even exist. Reading about dpdr a lot might make you look for symptoms and then you'll actually have it.

If it makes your visuals worse then stay away from it. When I snorted like 15 mg of ritalin I was calm and happy for like 90 minutes but then when I crashed I had a DPDR attack and was a bit shaken up for the next couple days. Needless to say I havn't touched any amphetamines since and I suggest you do the same.

oh wow that sucks in my first couple weeks of HPPD I was like that too and hated the constantly changing and moving patterns. It passed on to just a geometric mesh over time and now it pretty much just resembles static. It'll get better, it did for me.

thats a sick dog morbide I love all dogs. I have 2 really small spaniels. they're like little peanuts compared to that big guy. monkey you better not let that kid do anything... and wow alisa you're so talented! that sounded great!

10 min of pressing against your eyeballs!? jeez dude you must've got some pretty blurred vision after that lol yeah it definitely makes more visuals now than it did pre-hppd, at least for me. But yeah I won't do this again...I'm not even sure why I do it so much in the first place.

that sucks man, I feel for ya. My original HPPD was onset while I was taking doxyciclin, an antibiotic for lymes disease. I shouldn't have taken the LSD while on this medication and sometimes I wonder if the antibiotic was part of the cause of my HPPD. I'm sure it'll clear up in time, especially if it has before. What has caused your previous backlashes? bahaha I've been there but my trails aren't that bad.

I've always seen that when I press against my closed eyelids for a while. but after hppd really weird stuff happens when I do that...first of all, the snow gets crazy and colorful, and then a donut shaped afterimage is formed (this takes a while to go away) and then this weird pattern is everywhere. after pressing against my eyes a little more the "trees" start to show up, and then fractals that look like this: start forming all over them. It's weird and even when I open my eyes it takes a couple seconds for everything to fade.

I missed the call. I called back and left a message telling him to call back and apologizing for not being around my phone at the time. what now?

You shouldn't blame yourself for anything...I mean it is our fault for taking the hallucinogens but I heard "duuuuuuuuuude shrooms changed my life. you gotta trip dude" so many times without ever hearing about HPPD. Even in health class in my fucking GOVERNMENT FUNDED PUBLIC SCHOOL the only negative effects of hallucinogens we learned about were bad trips and the possibility of unlocking schizoprenia/psychosis. I never even heard of HPPD until after my first trip. And even then I remember on the wikipedia page for LSD the description said it usually goes away in days and it didn't even sound that bad. It's totally my fault for putting that strip of LSD on my tongue, but I think if HPPD wasn't so underwhelmed everywhere I would have never touched the stuff. Anyways the point I'm trying to get to is to not blame or be mad at yourself about this. It is in genetics so we might have gotten it sooner or later without drug use no matter what. who knows. Also from my basic knowledge of genes from my basic-highschool biology class i took a while ago, it seems to me (but I'm not sure) that this 'HPPD trait' is most likely recessive meaning your parents might not have visual disturbances but they might have carried the gene from your grandparents. Anyways that's just a total guess but it's how I see HPPD in terms of genetics. Just a theory from someone with basic genetic knowledge. @emily - could you go more in depth about your son? I'm kinda curious about how bad it is and how a 6 year old would handle something like this. It's still a very adaptive age so I hope it doesn't really bother him.

It sucks. I know. I kind of got HPPD in the middle of my drug experimentation so I've still been at it. My first experiences on speed, dxm, benzos, and many opiates have been while I had HPPD. Some people report no ill effects from coke but I think that speed can worsen symptoms permanently (I've tried prescription amphetemines only a couple of times but it made trails worse for days after) and uncut coke doesn't even exist anymore haha so I'd just stay away from the uppers. I mean what if you end up getting a bunch of powdered ritalin mixed with baking soda? I read somewhere online that a bunch of people snorted some lines that turned out be pure LSD and it was like the biggest dose of acid ever put in any person. From what I recall they just ended up in the hospital and I don't know what else happened to those guys but I don't even know if that story is true I think I read it on wikipedia or something. As for hallucinogens and MDMA never ever ever ever go near those things unless you want your HPPD amplified. Benzos and Opiates don't affect my symptoms but they're both highly addictive substances and dude it's just a bad path to go down. A lot of people here have been prescribed benzos because they somewhat relieve symptoms but are now stuck on a large amount daily. alcohol is kind of a divided topic on this forum but I'd stay away from it. just remember drugs affect every person differently so what helps some people might hurt you... On the topic of synthetic weed, I was talking to some random guy at a show yesterday and he was super fucked up like a methhead but he was telling me about how he can never get caught for smoking legal bud all the time while he was acting erratic and just doing a bunch of really weird stuff like mashing his teeth. HPPD sucks but I'm glad I'm not that guy lol.

Yeah I'm pretty wary of the WDs, I mean I knew they were bad but damn after just 4 days!? They just take away all the pain...until the harsh realities of this strange life come crashing down on you and the itch kicks in hard. I mean I aint no junkie but I can see why they're so addictive. anyways I'm kind of interested in this kind of treatment but I was just wondering are you still going through opiate WDs? also how long has it been since you've been off opiates? I've heard that you can get post-withdrawal symptoms that include anxiety (making visuals worse) which could take a while to go away. Sorry for the shitpost I made earlier in the thread but dude just think about how shitty the visuals are gonna be when you get off mdone. I had no idea the WDs kicked in after such a short amount of time. If I were you I'd just get off it as soon as you can unless you absolutely need it. But like Jay said, if it's trading one addiction for the other then do it. Sorry you've been feeling so shitty lately but all I can suggest is therapy, sometimes it can work wonders but I don't know about it helping DP/DR. Sometimes you just need to ride out hard times

Dude I'm also a teen who got hppd like 6 months ago, I'm pretty comfortable when im with my friends but I spend most of my time bored and alone. For the first 4 and 1/2 months of hppd I smoked pot multiple times a week (sometimes multiple times a day) and it made everything worse. I eventually majorly cut back and now I havn't put thc in my system for almost a full month. I already feel so muh better, like now I know my HPPD or anxiety can't get any worse. Believe me, don't make the same mistake I did an quit smoking now. My symptoms used to be so mild, I probably would've been healed up by now if I had just stopped all drug use when I got hppd. To cure the depression, well man of you're happy in social situations then get in more social situations. Or pick up a hobby or something. I've greatly improved my guitar skills in the last couple months and it's just a way to vent out the anxiety and frustration with life and turn it into beautiful music. Or try athletics or hell dude even video games keeps my mind off hppd.

liz reed live by the allman brothers. the best version of one of my favorite instrumentals! just learned how to play it on guitar too. it's so jazzy and catchy god I love this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps53rMIzMho dance can't go on without the dj/youth are getting restless live by sublime. such an amazing jam with loud sick basslines.

I'd be up for being a mod but I've only had HPPD for 6 months and don't know as much about it as some others do. Anyways, I'm on the computer a lot and would be happy to help out the board, so my hand is raised.

just sent an email

Don't get me wrong, anxiousness/anxiety/stress are totally normal for everybody. But we HPPDers are super sensitive to it. All I can really suggest for you is to just keep trying to put your mind off of HPPD. Also I think it's pretty interesting how you say psychedelic music makes you feel better. I'm a huge pink floyd fan too! But the song 'on the run' is just a total bad vibe. It makes me nervous and sweaty just listening to it. I'm glad I didn't hear it on acid lol. I guess that's the kind of feeling the band wanted people to get out of it though...the feeling of being on the run from something scary. Anyways I can go on and on about pink floyd and the themes of all their music/albums but I'll get to the point here. when I listen to trippy music like hendrix or the grateful dead I feel totally at peace with my HPPD; listening to that kind of music almost makes me enjoy the visuals. It's weird especially considering that I'm pretty sure I have PTSD from a bad trip.

My doc might be putting me on wellbutrin...any other stories? Does it really make symptoms worse?

fuckin lold at that. Jay you keep me sane.

Are you anxious around him for any reason? Like are you deep down inside super scared of what he thinks of you? That's all that I can think of. Also I am curious as to what the visuals are from kratom since you mentioned it. So kratom doesn't affect HPPD?

Ok this is wierd. I just double posted accidently and like the pictures I posted are on one page and then they dissapear and go on the other...:/ Edit: Ok nevermind its normal now. Anyways this is one of my spastic retarded doggies. I love ruby I look like shit in these cause I just woke up. This summer has been super chill and HPPD barely bothers me anymore! Yay!

fuuuck double post. delete this please mods.

I'm glad that your symptoms really aren't really that bad haha I guess I just misread some of your original post. Yeah y'know I've heard that kratom can give visuals, but that it affects a different part of the brain than the part that gives you HPPD. Kratom is an opioid with some stimulating effects so I know that feeling...it's hard to stay away from those kind of euphoric drugs but I think you can get physically addicted to it so be careful. I might give it a try some day soon but for now I'm just stayin sober and healing up my brain (except a little klonopin every now and then). Haha I think I'll stock up on some thai kratom before it goes illegal though. just for future reference, what's your average dose?

Sometimes when I'm going to sleep I'll just doze off for 5 minutes and think about some crazy shit and be convinced that something is the way it is (ie last night this happened. I dozed off for a couple minutes thinking about 'my cat'...I came to in a couple of minutes, remembered I don't have a cat, and then went to sleep). I wouldn't worry about it dude. Weird shit happens all the time before/during/after sleep, and hallucinations associated with sleeping are perfectly normal. From the little I know about schizophrenia, that doesn't sound like it. It sounds more like psychosis to me, but I don't mean to scare you. Do you have a history of mental illness in your family? I do and I'm scared shitless something's gonna happen to me.

Tbh you probably shouldn't touh pot possibly ever again. If a couple of drinks onset mild hppd (caused by the shrooms but still) think of what some weed will do. Anyways I think it'll be fine to drink very small amounts after a couple of months have passed an the snow fades away, but I'd never over do it. You'd be surprised how far savoring the effects of one drink can go.

Hey man correct me if I'm wrong but it sounds like your symptoms are pretty mild an that your getting trough life pretty normally which is great! Anyways HPPD sucks and I think that since your still young living healthy an sober that your symptoms will start dying off soon. Seriously though stay sober, no more pot or booze. This is a great board for support, but if you don't need support it won't help your case reading about hppd all day. So it's good that you've found your way here but like I said dont go reading about hppd all day. I find my visuals are the most manageable when I'm ignoring them.