Jump to content

TPBurrows3005

Members
  • Posts

    1
  • Joined

  • Last visited

TPBurrows3005's Achievements

Newbie

Newbie (1/14)

0

Reputation

  1. Hey guys, my name's Phil and I'm a 20 year old guy from North Wales. Me and my friends started using drugs at the age of 15. We started smoking weed, which inevitably lead to E's, then to speed, then coke and so on. I've always had a rather obsessive personality, so drugs and alcohol became quite messy for me early on in my usage. Me and my friends ended up hammering Mephedrone when it first became popular. If you ask me, I think that drugs got particularly messy when we started taking that shit. Over the course of about 4-5 years, I have done alot of MDMA, Coke, Research Chemicals, I've done Shrooms once, Salvia, Ketamine a few times and so on. My About 10 months ago now, my drinking and drug use had become very problematic, and I was literally losing my mind. One night, I went to my friends house who was having a party. As always, I turned up with a few bottles of wine to drink, telling myself "I'm not gonna take drugs tonight". After a couple bottles of wine, I soon changed my mind and was desperate get my hands on any kind of drug. I managed to buy a few E's, Gold Leaf's they were called I think. This was not the first time I'd mixed E's with alot of booze, I was getting myself in a right mess taking pills after drinking alot of alcohol, head swaying all over the place, not remembering a single thing etc. On this night, I had the worst bad trip I've ever had (Bar a full blown psychosis I had after a weekend of hammering Mephedrone at The Warehouse Project in Manchester). My heart was beating frantically and I kept on getting awful chest pains. I watched as the people around me started shrinking and morphing into some pixie like things. I remember looking directly at my mate and his eyes were huge and looked cartooney. I sat on the sofa all night thinking to myself "This is it, you've gone mental, there's no going back now". Hours later, I started to feel a bit better and went home. Days later, I had what I've recently discovered, a panic attack. I was by my computer and all of a sudden, my heart started to pound and I literally felt like I was going insane. I started pacing around the room thinking that I had schizophrenia. A couple of weeks later, I noticed I had snow in my vision and when I read a book, words would tend to wobble and move from side to side, making reading rather difficult. I eventually stopped recognising the sound of my own voice and felt like I was walking around in some kind of dream world. My anxiety got completely out of control, I was a nervous wreck from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep. I ended up losing a lot of weight as I wasn't able to eat due to be anxious all the time. I eventually went to the doctor, who was quick to put me on Citalopram. It's been about 10 months since that bad trip in my friends house now. Things have gotten a bit better, very gradually though. I do wonder if I should still be on the Citalopram, as I feel like it hasn't done much to help. I've quit drinking and taking drugs, and have recently started going to the gym often to keep healthy and my mind occupied. I still have the visual snow and depersonalisation/derealisation, and it's one of those things if I don't think about it, I'm okay, If I start thinking about it, the DP/DR hits me and I start becoming very, very anxious. Well I hope you enjoy this post, and if you have any tips, then please let me know!
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.