Jump to content

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'life'.

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • Research - Actively Recruiting
    • Research Advertisements
  • Main Forums
    • PREPARATION FOR LIVESTREAMS
    • MAIN AND GENERAL FORUM
    • Introductions
    • Symptoms: Descriptions, Discussion, Debate
    • Medications & Other Treatments
  • Active and Future Research
    • Research Articles, Publications and Studies
  • Community Area
    • Community Open Space
    • Forum Information, Questions and Suggestions

Find results in...

Find results that contain...


Date Created

  • Start

    End


Last Updated

  • Start

    End


Filter by number of...

Joined

  • Start

    End


Group


AIM


MSN


Website URL


ICQ


Yahoo


Jabber


Skype


Location


Interests


Administration Role

Found 3 results

  1. To me: I am 20 and have had HPPD since 4 years. I am from germany so please forgive my bad writing. So what can be said about HPPD? HPPD what I think is always 2 things: The visual and the feelings that come with it. The visual itself is neutral. You cant "feel" the visual. The visuals may trigger feelings but feelings=feelings, visuals=visuals, agree? Out of this understanding it doesnt matter how your eyesight is. The feelings (anxiety, anger, sadness, frustration) are the thing you need to put your energy on. You cant really help yourself clear the vision (it will happen by itself or never) but with your feelings you can do a lot. And the end of the journey may be a forfilling life... Stop wasting all your time waiting for a medicament that will clear the eyesight. Even if smth like this comes out it wont make you feel any better. Break the illusion that your "bad" situation is only related to your eye sight. That is and will always be fake. Yeah having this condition in your vision isnt the best at all I understand but its not as huge as you make it. The real "problems" are somewhere else in you... trust me. And with that you could now start the process of self care! Start accepting yourself! Start taking yourself serios! Start trusting yourself again! My way was and is meditation (zen). But you can do anything. Yoga, therapy and and and... 2022 is the easiest year to get depressed and sad and shit but also the easiest way to get happy and thankful! You legit just have to google how! If you dont start getting out of your comfort zone your whole life gonna be like this. Do you want that? Sorry for being so harsh. Best wishes. ^^
  2. Hello folks, I just stood up as every morning and... still there's this shit. I don't want this anymore. Seriously. I'm from Germany, I'm 24 now and still in high school. I have been on leave for about 3 years because of my problems. I did LSD and several other drugs including MDMA, amphetamines, DXM and cannabis starting with cannabis at the age of about 18 for about 3 years. My last LSD trip was in 2013. I did LSD 5 times. I was in rehab for my drug abuse and I'm in a psychotherapy since about 1.5 years now. In 2015 I continued school and I will hopefully finish it this year. But I feel like I messed up my whole life. Seriously. Everyone in my age here is finishing university now while I havn't even started. They have good jobs and some are in an age where they raise a family. And what do I have? I have fucking nothing. Well it doesn't matter what I have now for sure. That's true. What matters is how I will be in 10 or 20 years you think? It's true but we all know what is in 10 or 20 years. I am still going to have this shit. And it's just fucking destroying my life. I can't concentrate, I can't learn. I can't anything. It's just not possible to do anything rather than sitting in front of my computer everyday. I'm glad there's the internet for sure so I can still talk to some guys on Skype. I'm not sure if it's really HPPD. My mother is schizophrenic and maybe it's just some form of schizophrenia. I have mainly visual hallucinations, brain-fog, depression.I don't have any other hallucinations but who knows. From the images on the internet I saw about HPPD it looks similar, but a little bit different. I'm also not sure if I should call my visual snow really visual snow because it's too intense somehow. I got a lot meds in rehab. Neuroleptics did nothing to me, benzodiazepines work well. The problem is: I also became a benzodiazpine addict in 2013 so I'm not even allowed to do benzodiazepines anymore. I just don't have any relief now. I'm on antidepressants and they help a little bit with sleep and anxiety. I sleep about 10-12 hours a day, sometimes I sleep even longer just to escape reality. I'm so scared of this shit I even dream about HPPD symptoms every night. I think about commiting suicide every day. Psychiatrists can't help me. A doctor even told me "What should I do? What have you thought what I can do about it before you visited me?". In Germany also no one knows anything about HPPD because here the ICD-10 classification system is used and there is no equivalent diagnosis for HPPD like in the DSM system. If you tell them you read something about it on the internet they think you're just hypochondric. Therapist can't help me. I even thought about I might be just hypochondric. Who knows. And please don't tell me to exercise, taking vitamins and eating good and all that stuff. We all know it doesn't help a shit, it's just a placebo effect. Just be honest. Maybe not even HPPD is the main problem. Maybe just my depression because HPPD always reminds me of my drug abuse. It's always somehow subversively "telling" me "Look you have been such an idiot... you deserve this shit. How could you do any drugs? Everyone knows they are harmful and know it's your responsibility you have to take. Don't cry you little bitch!". I can't accept it. I just want this nightmare to end, but it won't ever end. I want to go back in time and change everything. I can't accept I got this shit because I was stupid when I was younger and now I'm 24 and still have this shit and I'll be soon 30 years old, just in 6 short years and nothing changes. I don't know what I should do anymore. I just have messed up my life. I still want to study but I'm not sure if I will ever be able to function in life. I want a normal job where I can live from. And now we see this nationalist movements everywhere in the world and globalisiation. It's just a question of time and there probably won't even be any social security systems anymore. How will I live then when I'm not able to have job? HOW? Will a rob a bank to pay my rent because I have no other options and will end up in jail? Seriously, that's what I think about life and politics at the moment. I see I'm getting a little bit off topic. But that's how I feel at the moment. edit: I didn't do any drugs for about 2 years now, no alcohol and no nicotine by the way.
  3. Ok, About a week ago a friend bought "acid" that was manufactured in the south east part of the United States. It was called "cdhc" and when I talked to the "cook" about it he explained that he didn't know exactly what it was because he was trying to stay a step ahead of the law by ordering un-watched/un-banned chemicals and that it was a lysergic acid with a cyclohexanol instead of a diethylamine. I was lead to believe that this person also did work with synthetic cannabinoids and was attempting to do "research" by using reagents from JWH synths in lysergic and indole molecules. I ate 2 hits on a perforated blotter with art on one side, the taste was similar to the metallic non-taste of real good acid, but there was a bitter chlorine like aftertaste, this alarmed me a bit and then after onset I was told that there could be mescaloids on the paper instead/or mixed with the LS-cyclohexanol. The onset was quick, felt it in 15 mins, Lots of Intense colors and black and white patterns tessellating. Similar to 25-I, But a lot less dirty. The Comeup and the first 3 hours were the most intense visually, similar to shrooms or 25-i, but totally lacking in the "Mental Breakthrough" aspect that normally comes with a good trip, although there was a lot of very interesting things happening around me(social chaos lol). After about 3 hours the trip just kinda totally stopped visually but I still felt different. for the next ~7 hours I felt a sort of "afterglow" but it was more like being spun and tired than the usual afterglow. Drinking and smoking pot during this period did make the trip come back but finally there was some psychological insight and introspective thought.. I wrote some poems and thought about where I am going with my life(still no clue). I love LSD-25, ALD-52, and PRO-LAD respectively, but This RC, which could very well have been lysergic. I have no love for. It was more of a mental hinderance than an unlocking, and not in the way that mescaline can be so. more like a deliquent than a teacher. 25-I Is horrible too. yea sure it makes you trip real hard, but was that ever the point? and a girl I know used to eat 25-I regularly and now she has parkinsons from it, she has more than once described hppd like symptoms from using 25-I aswell, noting she did not have any such visual disturbances before those years. The L tastes Chlorinated, //<WTF??? The Molly tastes Fluoridated, //the mellowest molly i've ever had! Is the govt doing another Czech-25 bullshit? or are the cooks in this area just stupid... I mean these are the same guys that cook a lot of america's synthetic cannabinoids. What is going on in the legislature changing the quality and availability? Please voice your opinion on any or all of this rant. has anyone else heard of any of this nonsense?
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.