MadDoc

Perhaps you could visit the doctor, describe your symptoms, but don't go into the fact that you dosed. Some of the symptoms you describe might have nothing to do with psychedelics. Tests can rule out other potential issues. As for drinking and meeting people, some of the nicest and kindest people people I've ever met were sober by nature. Something to ponder.

I never had heard of "visual snow" until I found this forum. Hppd, at least the way I understand it, is a spectrum disorder. A little different for each of us. Early on my symptoms were hallucinations, anxiety, and Close Eyed Visuals. Over the decades the anxiety let go and the CEVs finally vanished. I still have the hallucinations and I'll probably have those for the rest of life. I think visual snow is a symptom that some people get but not all A segmental of the spectrum so to speak. I hope that made sense. Just my perspective you understand. I'm not an hppd expert.

Thank you for posting. First off, I'm not a doctor or an expert in hppd. I'm just an older person who has had it for a long time. A lot of people have panic attacks from smoking weed. The weed that's available today is SO powerful. It's no surprise that you experienced anxiety from it. I know people who have smoked for decades who won't touch what's available today. Fortunately, you've decided to give MJ a rest. The symptoms may simply be indicators that you're susceptible to hppd. I honestly can't tell for sure. Many of the visual anomolies you describe could be caused by eye fatigue or common eye abnormalities. Us humans don't always perceive "reality" just exactly perfect. Old people like to tell stories, let me describe what I deal with. If I stare at anything, floors, ceilings, trees, clouds, within a few seconds they start transforming into patterns, animal, Aztec glyphs, etc. If I keep staring they start to move and sometimes the colors start to shift. I've had this disorder for almost 40 years. HPPD for sure. People in here describe derealiazation and anxiety that is truly debilitating. Some describe hppd as being on a low dose of acid all the time. Is this the kind of thing you're experiencing? As I said, I can't tell if you have hppd, early hppd symptoms, or if you don't have it at all. My gut feeling is that you don't have hppd. Please understand I'm not trying to minimize what you're dealing with. Anxiety is no joke but, unfortunately, it is part of the human experience in a world that can't seem to rest. This is what I would suggest. Continue to stay clear of psychoactive drugs like MJ, acid, etc. Focus on the things that interest you and that give you joy. Why do I say this? When I'm focused I don't have hallucinations. Staying focused and reaching for goals in life is what saved this psychedelic wreck. Even if you have some early hppd symptoms, and you stay clean, I'll bet life will work out fine and those symptoms will improve. Myself, and others with severe symptoms have careers, raise families, and have found great joy in life. Hang in there and take care of yourself. I hope that helps.

I started getting hppd symptoms at 14. My first memory of this was seeing a vine and a flower form on speaker fabric after smoking some weed. I think if I had stopped taking drugs at that point it probably would have cleared up. At 14, your brain is still elastic. If you stop using drugs, including weed now, your chances of contracting hppd are greatly reduced. I can't tell if you have hppd. You may just have "post dose" anxiety. I continued dosing from 14 to 20. I'm nearing 60 and I have visuals that will probably never go away. Don't beat yourself up, take action. Get clean and reach for what you would really like to do in life.

You dosed on mushrooms just once before the brownie? Note, I'm no doctor, nor am I an expert when it comes to hppd. I suspect if you avoid drugs you will level out in a few months. You may have the early indicators that you're susceptible to hppd. Don't tempt fate! Stay clean, keep focused, and don't dwell on the symptoms you're experiencing. I can't stress enough though, stay clean. Take care

"What type of math did you study?" My undergraduate degree was in math. My concentration was what they called "Abstract Algebra" aka Algebra. Graduate school ended up being computer science. I would have loved to continue with math but I had a wife and two babies to support. Also, I'm just too strange for a life in acedemia provided I could have pulled that off at all.

I started dosing young, just prior to my 14th birthday. I went through some rough and stressful years after I stopped when I was 20. You said "May we all find happiness again". After heavy dosing for six years, I didn't think I could be happy again. The chemicals that kept me fueled through my teens were no longer working and I realized that I had done some damage to my mind. It took some years of hard work, but I found happiness again. There's nothing special about me. I'm just an average human, but now I'm happy. It took focused effort, setting goals and not giving up. I think the hardest part was realizing that because I'm human, I'm flawed, but now I'm OK with that. I guess what I'm trying to say is that happiness is attainable even when you're in a dark place. One step at a time, stumble, get back up and try again. Take care.

Thank you. I'm not sure if I'm particularly wise. I also hope I didn't go overboard giving a sobriety lecture. It's just what worked for me. Many of my hppd symptoms cleared up and I attribute that to sobriety, though it took a long time. I know people who live happy lives using drugs like alcohol and cannabis in moderation. I'm not one of those people. I had to stay sober to reconstruct my life, get an education (I also studied mathematics), provide for my family, and to not allow reality to dissolve into madness. I guess it's a matter of deciding what we want in life. Hppd can be debilitating disorder. You've accomplished so much, don't let hppd get a foothold!

Natural ways? First off, stop using mind altering chemicals. I can't stress that enough. Second, stay focused. School, hobbies, family, work, anything to keep your mind engaged. I follow a diet that avoids processed foods. I also don't eat meat or dairy, but I understand that being vegan isn't for everyone. You're exercising and that's great way to keep the body and mind healthy. I've found meditation to be very helpful. Basically, it's just mental focus but it has helped me immensely. I hope that helps. Take care.

The psychedelic realm. I spent six years there. I found that my early trips had something to teach, then dosing just turned into something to do. After a while it can actually get boring. Life is short and the older you get, the faster it moves. I'd focus on perusing the things that make you happy. Focus on your education, your wife, your kids (if you have any). I used to think psychedelics were the answer and the path to happiness. I was wrong. Instead, sobriety brought me happiness. I haven't dosed in almost 40 years and don't miss it one bit. However, I live with visuals that will probably never go away. Take care of your mind, we only get one travelling through whatever "this" is.

Psychedelics can make us question the very things that keep us grounded. That can be stressful! Stick to the things that keep you focused. Playing music and going to school are excellent activities to keep you engaged. I may have misunderstood what you said, so the following may not be relevant. You mention that you consider yourself to be a decent guy. Taking psychedelics doesn't mean you're suddenly a bad person. I'm sure you're still a decent person. People I've talked to in the past have told me they feel like terrible people because they ingested a mind altering chemical. IMHO, if you're a decent person before you dose, then you're still a decent person. You've just had a dip in the non-ordinary reality pool. Exercise and sticking to a good diet can certainly help (healthy body, healthy mind). For me, staying focused on school, work, my family, hobbies, etc. helped me keep it together. Give yourself some time and I suspect you will start to level out. Hang in there and take care.

Relax, I doubt you're permanently damaged your brain. The weed these days is so powerful and the CBD has mostly been bred out it. If you smoke frequently it's no surprise you're feeling a little off. Take a break from smoking weed for a few months. You'll probably level out after some time passes. It never hurts to talk to your doctor if you're concerned. Hang in there, take care of yourself.

Agreed. Getting on with life is very important. I've had this condition for roughly 40 years as well. Like having any other disability you have to accept the fact that you have it, do what you can to help with healing, and get your life moving. For me, sobriety was key.

Sweden is a wonderful country. Well, at least it was when I was there. I went to elementary school for a year in Stockholm. About ten years ago I visited again. Good people the Swedes.

For work I travel to the Czech Republic roughly every three months. The first trip anywhere, for anyone, can be anxious. Most of the people you encounter in Europe speak english. If that's your primary language it shouldn't be a problem. Just relax and take it as it comes. Keep reminding yourself everything will be ok. The world has gotten smaller and foreign lands are familiar. In Prague Starbucks is a common sight. Traveling on a plane can be an anxious experience. I load music that I love on my phone and try to forget where I am. Yes, planes are weird, but they're very safe. Airports a just a pain in the ass, but if you stay calm, they're easy to navigate. Enjoy your travels. Having this disorder doesn't mean you can't have a wonderful journey.

Youre not panicking yet, and try not to. Panicking solves nothing and you need to approach what you're dealing with in a rational manner You've dosed a lot over a short period of time so it's not surprising that you're having some visual wierdness. I used to take sizable doses and it would leave the world a bit strange afterwards. My one piece of advice is to stop dosing. I can't stress this enough. Give yourself some time to level out so you can make a clear headed evaluation of your being. You mention you're afraid of being sober. I used to think psychedelics were an answer. I was wrong. After I stopped dosing, and after drinking too much for a while, I finally got my sobriety to take hold and it was the best decision I ever made. I'm not saying you should never drink, or never smoke a joint again. What I am saying is don't be afraid of sobriety. Sometimes it's tough being human but the crap life can throw at you is much more manageable with a clear head. Understand that hppd can be a severe disorder. I'm not saying you have it, I'm not qualified to do that. If you're in the minority susceptible to this disorder, the fewer times you dose, the better. I'm not a medical professional nor am I an expert when it comes to hppd. I'm an old guy who, when he was young, dosed heavily for too long I have visuals to this day. I wish I had the sense to stop dosing when I was young. Hang in there and take care of yourself.

(Edit) I didn't realize the original post was from three years ago. OK, so I'm a bit of a space. There is always hope. I don't think there is an adult alive who hasn't had their heart broken. It can plunge anyone into depression but add hppd symptoms to the mix and it can be rough. There's someone out there for you, you just haven't crossed paths yet. Testimonial time. I'm an older guy who has been on this planet for almost 60 years. Over time, most of my symptoms have gone away. I still live with visuals but they don't bother me much anymore. People with hppd can be successful, happy, raise families, get a higher education, and so forth. We have a disability and like any other person with a disability, we can move forward with life and have a wonderful time doing it. Never give up. There is always hope.

First off relax and don't focus on the symptoms too much. If you've only smoked weed a few times, things will probably level out given some time. As the previous post said, be patient. It can take a while. Try to stay focused. For me being focused really helps. School, a hobby, reading, etc. Keep the brain engaged. Personally, I can't touch cannabis. It's not for everybody. You've learned that weed isn't for you, and fortunately, you learned this early on. I wish I had done the same with my psychedelic use. Hang in there and take care.

For me, just staring at something when my mind isn't focused and the visuals kick in. Surfaces with seemingly random patterns trigger it immediately. Sidewalks, road surfaces, textured ceilings, etc. Cannabis is a huge trigger so I gave that up a long time ago. Lack of sleep, antihistamines, and caffeine also makes it worse.

I have open eye visuals and have had them for a long time. Most of the time I can ignore them. However cannabis makes them go out of control. I've only indulged a handful of times since i "quit" and each time it's a train wreck. I used to smoke all day long, every day. Try abstaining from weed, at least for a while, to see how you're doing. You never know, your symptoms may clear up. At a minimum, you can eliminate weed as the cause.

The subject of your post caught my eye. Someone in my past used to often say "feed the hungry be". What he meant is that sometimes we need to simply "be". The world has gotten so frantic and taking time for ourselves can be healthy. Hang in there, take care of yourself.

If you live in the US, the "main stream" meat supply is full of hormones and antibiotics, so be careful. Been vegan for decades myself, but don't preach, it's a personal decision.

@sinergy Feeling like an empty shell or a husk is how I felt when I finally gave up psychedelics. I think that's true for anyone who's given up drugs of any kind. For me, it was a matter of setting my life in a different direction. I found the sober activities that made me happy and set goals into action to get there. It took a while but it worked. It was bumpy at first because alcohol got in the way. That solution is no solution! Now, if I could just start feeling like I'm not some alien accidentally dropped on this planet.

I don't understand why you refer to yourself as an "idiot". I agree, LSD can provide insight into our own minds. You've had that experience. The mistake I made was I thought psychedelics were a long term answer. I think if I had taken it once or twice, taken what it had to teach, and then stopped then I might not have the hppd symptoms I've lived with all my adult life. It sounds like you've made a rational decision to hang up the phone. An idiot? I don't think so. Take care.

Taking LSD can change you. Sometimes the change can be beneficial but for others not so much. The problem is that we can't choose how the outcome will turn out. For most of on this board, it was a negative outcome. As humans we can have all kinds of mental and physical issues. They may not be related to the your LSD experience. For example, I have open eye visuals. I'm certain that was due to all the psychedelics I took. However. I developed tinnitus later in life which, I think, was caused by decades of going to rock shows and not a hppd symptom. If you're having issues, bring it up with a doctor you trust. Tunnel vision may be the result of some other problem. Stay away from psychedelics including cannabis for a while. If you do have some early hppd symptoms, best not take any chances. Take care.