MadDoc

I too used to take ridiculous doses but my drug was acid. Why did I do it? I just wanted to see what would happen I guess. Go deeper. We were also under the false impression that it was harmless. The handful of times I've smoked weed since I stopped dosing produced panic attacks and a scary psychedelic effect. My brain felt like it was being run by some alien software. Horrid! I think it's great that you reached out on this forum. You're not alone, there's a whole tribe of us who are dealing with this. Understand, there are people in this forum who life happy and productive lives. I've had this disorder my entire adult life but existence has been sweet. Welcome!

@oneofmymistakes. Making it better? First of all avoid drugs. Cannabis doesn't appear to be treating you well. You're already doing this which is great! I found that setting goals and focusing on those goals helped a lot. Nurture those things you're good at. Keep at it and I'll bet you can accomplish a lot. If your symptoms are making life difficult, start small, do what you can, but keep at it. Understand, you're not a bad person because you have had adverse effects from using drugs. Learn from the experience and move forward.

Perhaps a cry for help? Pure speculation on my part. Not that it's related, but I still go to music festivals and concerts. I'm fascinated with musicians who can play improvisational music. However, I enjoy the shows without having any psychoactive chemicals in my system.

Having your symptoms decrease so much, so fast, is a REALLY good sign! You've been through a lot. Healing can take time, so be patient. I've found that there is no getting back to "normal" over the long haul. Over time, what's normal changes and initially the new normal might be unfamiliar. Life is dynamic but fortunately, as humans we're adaptable. Take care of your body, avoid chemicals, and your new normal is likely to be a good place.

Tn99. That's simply not true. I started enjoying life once I got clean. I enjoyed taking drugs but, for me, it was a false "chemical induced". sense of happiness.

Hi. Understand that this forum is here to help people who are dealing with the adverse effects of taking psychedelics. When I was young I took a lot of psychedelics at concerts and "events" (Raves came along much later). Yes it was fun, but for the remainder of my life I've dealt with hppd. A high price. All input is valuable, but please be aware that there are a lot of people in here trying to maintain some semblance of sobriety.

Hppdman22, your symptoms went away. If staying sober helped that happen, I'd stick with staying sober. You don't want this disorder to be something that won't go away. Understand, I'm not trying to tell you what to do. It's wonderful that you're doing so well, it's I'd just I'd hate to see your symptoms come back because of cannabis.

I'm still in touch with a number of people I used to dose with. None of them have anything like I have. However, all of these people report that psychedelics changed the way they think and the way they view the world. I think such a powerful experience changes everyone in some way.

I'd go see a doctor just as a precaution. Spots in your vision can be related to blood pressure. Sometimes when I stand too quickly I see little black dots and I get the dizzies. I think it's due to low blood pressure (at least that's what the doctor says).

Welcome. I have similar visuals. If I look at grass, sidewalks, textured ceilings, carpets, etc. I see animal shapes, faces, Aztec glyphs, and a lot of weirdness in between. My visuals are always in motion, shifting, changing, and if I stare, they get more complex. I've learned to live with it, though there are times that it can be very distracting.

I think we get philosophical as we age. I'll have this disorder for the rest of my life. I've accepted that. Like anyone who has a disability, I just try to do the best I can. Life has been good, and I'm hoping I get to be here for many more years.

Losing your mom so young must be rough. One of the things that helped me with hppd was, simply put, staying focused. I thew myself into school, work, raising a family, etc. I tried to keep my mind occupied as much as possible. It helped ... a lot! Losing a family member, especially when that person was the heart of the family, is devistating. Give yourself time to work it through. My approach was to think about and talk about all the positive things that person brought into my life. Take care, hang in there.

Hi Lancer. I also started taking psychedelics in the early 70s. I was 13 when I took my first dose in 1973. I stopped using around 1980. I think I had hppd symptoms early on but I figured they would just go away once I stopped. My symptoms have moderated over time as well. I used to have closed eye visuals, those went away very suddenly in my 40s. Most of the anxiety dissipated as well. I'm left with visuals that I'll probably have for the rest of my life. I'm happy you're here. We've both had this disability over the long haul. Finding this forum was a huge relief to me. There is a lot of good information and some very knowledgeable folks post here.

Normal? I think so. I went to college, got married, raised two wonderful children, and have a profession. I'm very happy and I'm grateful for each day. I guess that's normal. I stopped using psychedelics around 1980. Back then, this condition didn't have a name that I know of. People who used a lot of psychedelics were just considered "burned out". I doubt there were many doctors who had a clue. My approach was to stay sober and stay focused. I did drink alcohol for some time in the 80s but gave that up as well. I also follow a daily meditation practice which has been extremely helpful. I try to exercise often as well. I don't take any prescription medication. In short, stay clean, stay focused, and keep moving. Works for me.

I was relived when I found this forum. When I first started noticing symptoms, there was no Internet and even talking about drug use wasn't well received. For decades I thought I was the only one in the world who had this condition.

Visuals mostly. If I look at any textured surface I immediately start seeing patterns and designs on that surface. I've dealt with this for over 40 years. I dosed a LOT over a six year period.

I'm not a doctor or a medical professional. I'm just an old guy who has had hppd for a long time. You mentioned that you had visual snow, anxiety, and panic attacks before consuming cannabis. Having a panic attack after consuming marijuana isn't that unusual. Edibles can be very powerful and can produce a very uncomfortable experience in some people. Noticing that your visual snow is worse may simply due to the added anxiety of have a bad experience. I suspect you're not experiencing hppd symptoms. Instead, the marijuana made your anxiety worse. I'd stay clear of marijuana. For some it's fine, for others (like me) it can produce a bad reaction. Hang in there, and take care of yourself.

I've been through a number of procedures where they put me under. I've never had any opiate medication afterwards. My symptoms never seemed any worse during recovery or in the long haul.

Meditation takes time and practice. It taught me that "I" am the controller of my own mind. A weird concept. Can I control my conciseness 100%. No way. Can I control a part of it, yup. What I can control is the firing of the adrenal pumps when hppd tells me to PANIC. Like a circuit breaker, I can left it go. Akin to learning a musical instrument, it takes practice. For me, the benefits were huge. Perhaps life saving. I'll get off my soapbox now.

It's not uncommon to have lingering effects from psychedelics after they've worn off. This doesn't mean they're permanent. Because you haven't dosed a lot it's very likely that your symptoms will improve. Your decision to stay clean is key to avoiding getting more severe symptoms. Keep focused on the constructive things you enjoy doing. Sobriety, staying focused, and exercise is what helped me. I don't take medications because I don't trust doctors when it comes to healing the mind. That being said, people in this forum have had success with medications. It's a personal decision I guess. Hang in there and take care of yourself.

You're very welcome. I hope things continue to improve for you. I wish I had stopped after my fist few doses. Can't change the past though.

Mine is the permanent type. That being said, the visuals are sometimes very active, sometimes they moderate. I find it's worse when I'm under a lot of stress. The visuals are also worse when I'm not busy doing something. Perhaps some parallels there. Take care

There is hope. Hope for improvement and hope for a good life. Dig around in this site. There are many positive stories. If you would like to hear mine, please let me know ... I've written what I've dealt with in the various threads. Whatever works.

I think your symptoms will continue to improve provided you don't dose. It sounds like you've made a lot of progress already and that's a good sign. Many of my symptoms went away though it took years (decades) . Then again, I dosed a lot! Stay clean and give your brain a chance to bounce back to "normal" (whatever that is). Hang in there. Be strong.

I took kratom once. I got it from a friend who deals with cronic pain. What he gave me came from a good source and I didn't take a lot. I didn't like it at all. It made me feel weird, gave me stomach problems, and made me feel shaky. I was warned that it has a dependency profile and not to take it daily. I did it once, not for me. Valarian just makes me sleepy. I'm sleepy enough so I never took to this herb either. I've tried a bunch of herbal treatments for this disorder but none have helped much. I do take cbd oil when I have insomnia. Sobriety and meditation practice worked best for me.