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Everything posted by MadDoc

  1. I don't play video games, but I watch my share of movies. I honestly don't notice visuals when I'm watching the screen. As I've said before, when I'm focused, my visuals aren't apparent. I guess watching movies keeps me focused enough to shut them down.
  2. Advice/tips, sure. I've lived with this disorder for a long time. That doesn't make me an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I know what works for me. Be kind to yourself because you've done nothing wrong. Exploring the mind using psychoactive compounds is as ancient as human thought. We're curious beings so taking the plunge doesn't make anyone a bad person. We're just in the unfortunate minority to have contracted this disorder. Get focused. Be it school, work, hobbies, philosophy, whatever. Stay focused and try not to focus on symptoms. If anxiety is an is
  3. Welcome. You dosed quite recently and the after shocks of a experience can linger. Give yourself some time. I'd also suggest you stop using drugs, at least for a while. You mentioned that you've done "hard" drugs infrequently (did i get that right?). However, the cannabis today is POWERFUL. Give it a rest for a while to see how you're doing. Also, don't panic! Try not to attribute every anomaly to hppd. I'm not a doctor, but at this point you symptoms sound relatively mild. I realize that they don't seem mild to you, but understand that hppd can be a debilitating condition. I'm not
  4. Your life sounds similar to mine in some ways. I took LSD about a month before my 14th birthday. By the time I was 20, after years of gobbling down psychedelics, I decided it was time to give it up. I dealt with terrible anxiety so I self medicated with alcohol. I felt like I had alcohol under control. Got through college, got married, had kids, started a career, and all that good shit. However, for me, alcohol became more and more of a problem. One day I decided I'd had enough and I quit. However, the anxiety was waiting for me once I sobered up. Fortunately I found a doctor who help
  5. Hello, welcome, and thank you for posting. I found it very difficult to open up to anyone about hppd but doing so helped a lot. It sounds like you're doing pretty well and your symptoms sound mild (in my amateur opinion). They might not seem mild to you, but hppd can be a truly debilitating disorder for some and it sounds like you're living your life. You've already taken the most important step to being well, that is staying away from psychoactive drugs. I'm not a doctor or a medical professional. That being said, I suspect your symptoms will moderate over time provided you stay cl
  6. It's very possible that your hearing issue has nothing to do with hppd. I'd seek out a hearing specialist to get a thorough hearing test. After that, they may be able to suggest a treatment. At a minimum, they can rule out common causes of hearing anomalies. I hope that helps. Thanks.
  7. I've been away for a while as well. It's been a tough year for everyone. We lost some of the more senior branches of our family tree to Covid. I need to pull myself back together and try to be helpful in this forum.
  8. This is what scares me the most when it comes to giving advice or encouragement to someone is writes that he/she is considering checking out. I have no training as a therapist. What if I unknowingly write the wrong thing as harmless as it might seem? Scary territory.
  9. It's always wonderful to hear about a positive outcome. Hope can manifest itself.
  10. I have been married for 40 years now so dating is a distant memory. Finding another compatible human has so much to do with communication. I figure, just be honest and open. The "one for you" is out there. Your paths just need to intersect. I guess I'm lucky. I met someone willing to put up with my strange.
  11. That's wonderful news! I think you are very wise to stay away from psychedelic drugs including weed. I realize weed isn't technically a psychedelic (or is it?), but it sure is when introduced into my nervous system! Keeping focused is one of the things I've done to manage this condition over the years. Anyone on the road to recovery is good news. Take care of yourself!
  12. I take CBD oil to help me fall asleep. Not every day, but if my mind isn't shutting down at night it really helps. It doesn't do anything for my visuals (good or bad). I've never had visual snow. Hope that helps.
  13. Our stories sound similar. I fist dosed in 1973, i was almost 14 years old and thought I knew everything. How drugs like LSD were available to a kid of 13 is beyond me. By the time I was 20, I figured it was time to hang it up. I struggled with hppd, and still do. I also have a remarkably "normal" life. I've been married for almost 40 years and have two great kids (kids in their mid-30s). I refer to myself as a "misplaced alien". My view of the world, reality, humor, etc. Is definitely strange. I'm certain the truck load of psychedelics i took had something to do with that. Over
  14. My practice is best described as "mindful meditation" aka "mindfulness". You don't need no chant from nobody. If you can breathe, you can do it. Don't be discouraged if you don't see benefits early. Scheduling time daily can actually be stressful at first, but stick with it. It takes time, but it REALLY helps and improves the quality of life.
  15. I meditate daily and have been practicing for many years. The key word is "practice". Just like learning to play a musical instrument, it's important to keep at it even if it doesn't "click" right away. At one point in my life I was storing too much stress, anxiety, and was struggling with bouts of depression. My doctor recommended that I take meditation training being taught at a local teaching hospital. It took me (memory is a bit fuzzy here) about six months before I realized how much better I was doing. For me the benefits are: I can shut of the chatter in my head. So often we
  16. In my 20s I drank far more than I should to deal with my hppd symptoms. I rarely got out of control, but I definitely drank too much. Over time, I didn't have it in control, it had control over me. The day after made my symptoms worse, especially anxiety. Also, even on days I didn't have a hangover I noticed my anxiety was getting worse, not better. I stopped drinking and it was one of the best things I ever did for myself (and did for my wife and kids). I'm apologize if it sounds like I'm giving a temperance lecture. I'm not trying to tell you, or anybody, how to live their life. S
  17. @muzcore84 coming here to get help and to help others is what it's all about.. I suspect there are others out there who had a similar reaction to Salvia. Your experiences may provide some insight into what they're dealing with. When I first heard about Salvia I had been sober for quite some time, so I, thankfully, next tried it. With its availability, I wonder if there are a lot of people struggling with hppd symptoms after using Salvia. I heard at one time it was being sold in gas stations and convenience stores!
  18. Yes, but when I do my visuals become very active. I try to keep my mind focused on a task, a problem, a memory, whatever. Anything to keep the visuals at bay.
  19. Hi Ben. First off, congratulations for getting off of opiates. It's such a slippery slope and takes too many promising lives. Living with hppd makes us a unique group. For a very long time I was quite alone with this disorder. When I first had symptoms, there was no internet and there was such a stigma that explaining hppd to a doctor really wasn't an option. This forum helped me understand that I'm not alone and it has helped me shed the stigma. Dig around in the threads. Lots of bright people post here.
  20. What Jay said. Staying clean for a while will give you a baseline as to where you stand. I'm not trying to minimize what you're dealing with, but you're symptoms don't sound too severe. I've also found that hppd doesn't limit my ability to think and reason. I got through college, graduate school and so forth (I hope I don't come off sounding like a bozo). Keep clean, stay focused, exercise and you have an excellent chance of leaving your symptoms behind. Take care, hang in there.
  21. Be patient. Healing can take a long time and the severity of visuals can vary from day to day. You're not taking drugs now. That's the single most important thing you can do. As the last post suggests, focus on trying to get your anxiety under control. I realize that's easier said than done. I find that exercise is one of the best ways to deal with stress. I've also found meditation to be very helpful. Don't stress because a month has gone by with no improvement. It takes time. Hang in there.
  22. Checking back. How are you doing? Any experiences you have helps others. We carry each other (is that a lyric? If so, I can't place it).
  23. Primary visuals. That and the "alien thinking" that countless doses burned into my skull. Neil Young wrote a lyric that is appropriate. "Like visitors from space, it's hard to find a place, to blend in and go unrecognized".
  24. MadDoc

    My story

    I drink my daily cup of tea, and it doesn't make my visuals worse. I quit smoking 30 years ago and haven't touched nicotine since. The last thing I need in my life is to be controlled by an addiction.
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