StateOfRegret

That's tough - I would think that your doctor would be willing to help you? Many of them are not happy about prescribing benzodiazepines, but in my experience they do make exceptions!

Well, as I said before; In a situation like yours, something akin to benzodiazepines might be warranted ASAP.

Have you sought medical treatment? If they have just shrugged at you, you need to be more aggressive (but in a ''formal'' and serious way, this is how I deal with doctors anyway!). They must take you seriously, your suffering is obviously very real. Maybe there is no clear-cut obvious treatment, but Solveig has had considerable success with Lamictal, and I'd be surprised if some benzodiazepines (Klonopin, for instance) couldn't at least do something to alleviate your suffering temporarily (those are, of course, not well-suited for long term use, but in the short term they can be very, very helpful!)

Stay with us, Missjess. What you describe sounds very unpleasant, but even during the worst of times, there is reason to keep going. Perhaps the present isn't worth experiencing, but until proven wrong one should always remember the (likely) possibility that better days lie ahead! As for your symptoms: you didn't mention any visual symptoms. Do you not experience those?

Qaiphyx, what on earth are you talking about? The DSM is the American psychiatric diagnostic manual!

Welcome! Don't take hppd33's gallows humor too seriously ;-) - you have not had HPPD for very long, there is every reason to think that you will recover. Also, there has been some success treating HPPD with various medications. I feel for you wrt the anxiety. I too suffer from frequent panic attacks - easily the most disturbing part of the experience!

There are quite a few studies on the anxiolytic effects of Niacinamide, but studies suggest some neurotoxicity. I am on my phone at the moment so I can't post links to the articles right now.

Sounds like a sound approach! I look forward to hearing more about your experiences with CBT. Are your experiences with guided meditation documented anywhere on the board?

I am well aware of that. But I will have to gauge if the effect they have had on my visual symptoms is permanent. If it is, there is no way I will continue taking them for months, since this could be very detrimental.

I thought I should keep you updated. I have taken citalopram (generic) for two days, now. The first day, I started out with a low dose of 5mg to "test the waters". My experience the first day was as follows: Setting: Alone in my apartment on a weekday. I noticed a distinct "serotonergic" feeling, much like I've experienced on low doses of serotonergic drugs before (low dose MDMA or psilocybin); yawning but stimulated and a faint buzzing sensation in body and head. Somewhat heightened anxiety (this could be a consequence of my general 'medication phobia' which I've developed post-HPPD) My dizziness seemed less severe than usual - a big plus for me. Generally high spirits when the anxiety was not too overpowering, however my mood is usually good so this is not all that uncommon. Visuals worsened, ability to focus my eyes seemed worse than usual (this is a problem I have) I took 0.6mg alprazolam for sleep (due to the worsened anxiety) On the second day, I took 10mg divided into two doses of 5mg each, dosed 7 hours apart. My experience was as follows: Setting: With family on a saturday. The same "serotonergic" feeling was noted, somewhat stronger following the second dose. Following my first dose, my dizziness seemed less severe once again. However, it came back later in the day, and a second dose didn't alleviate it, so there may be no correlation. Anxiety wasn't as bad this time around. May be due to multiple factors; I wasn't as scared of the medication the second time taking it, and I was with family this time rather than alone in my apartment. Visuals definitely worsened once again Yawning quite a lot, feeling somewhat tired. Trouble falling asleep in spite of feeling tired. When lying down with eyes closed I had a sensation of rotary motion. My body seemed to be spinning endlessly. I felt generally restless, tossing and turning (I do not usually do this). The worst part; I awoke a 5am (having fallen asleep around 2:30 (estimate) after going to bed at 1am) feeling utterly out of it. I was disoriented, visuals were going crazy and I was on the verge of panic. I've never awoken straight into an anxiety attack like that before. I had to take a benzo (alprazolam again) to calm down, which allowed me to sleep after an hour or so. Today; I have not taken any citalopram today, debating whether I wish to continue doing so. I feel better in most ways today, being closer to sobriety (citalopram has a long half life). The visuals still seem worsened, but not as bad as when the citalopram was in full force, so I'm hoping that the worsening is temporary.

Pretty cool. It doesn't really cover most of my symptoms, though, as far as I can see. Patterning, splotches of colour, neon-like visuals etc.

Drinking a cup of coffee or smoking cigarettes should be fine as long as you enjoy it. I dont think there's any risk of a little caffeine or nicotine causing any permanent worsening. Same goes for alcohol; it probably won't harm you in the long run, HPPD-wise. As for cannabis, MDMA and other recreational drugs; I'd steer clear! Personally I do not drink coffee (it is too anxiogenic for me now, I used to drink lots of it) but I do smoke tobacco (cigarettes and pipe) everyday without any problem whatsoever. I have had a couple of beers on occasion, and it was fine. I was a bit anxious the next day, but nothing major. I didn't enjoy it quite like I used to, though - but you might

You may be right :-) Your defense of the idea does sound a bit 'ad hoc' though (i.e. where's the falisifiability if a counter example can always be construed to fit the theory?). Not trying to be polemic here, I look forward to read the thread thoroughly. :-)

Sorry to barge in without having read the thread, but I'd like to contest this; I've never had a traumatic trip experience (and I've taken hallucinogens countless times), nonetheless I have HPPD. I got it gradually from a long series of mostly enjoyable trip experiences.

I'm not sure if my palinopsia has gotten worse, but while some of the other visual symptoms have gotten better (patterning on surfaces, for instance) the palinopsia hasn't really improved.

I read your story on another board (dpselfhelp I think). It was, and is, very moving. I feel truly sorry for you. I can definitely relate to the sensation of jolts in the brain and the feeling of being under the influence of some drug. Onedayillsailagain, an active and compassionate member here, once tried ibogaine post-HPPD as well, perhaps he'll chime in :-)

Thanks for sharing, odysseus. Syntheso: As for the longecity thread; yes, I've read that one before with interest. Actually, Lexapro is on his "approved" list ;-) I've even tried a few; niacinamide (now apparently considered neurotoxic), bacopa, magnesium etc. The reason I'm considering SSRIs is that my particular brand of anxiety is marked by strong dizziness (sometimes vertigo as well), and it seems that CSD (Chronic Subjective Dizziness) responds well to SSRIs according to this study and others. The anxiety and dizziness are by far my worst symptoms - much more disturbing than the visual ones (palinopsia, patterning, visual snow etc), so I'm willing to try almost anything as long as it doesn't permanently exacerbate any of my symptoms.

Hey, Puppeteer, did you continue using tianeptine?

Just watched the trailer, will definitely give it a go. I don't suppose they actually mention HPPD on the show?

Thanks for your reply, Syntheso :-) Yes, Etizolam helps tremendously! But I have never used it daily, I use it once in a while because of the addiction potential(*). I'm looking for more of a long term solution here, as I've come to realize that I've always suffered from anxiety to some degree. It's something that runs in the family, as well. Before my HPPD got worse, I was always able to "power through it", but since I began having frequent panic attacks, my ability to ignore the anxiety has almost vanished. It has come to the point where I need some sort of relief to be able to continue doing what I like. During the last few months I've been teaching mechanics at uni (physics), but with my recent anxiety surge I'm seriously doubting whether I can continue doing that. Luckily I don't have any teaching responsibilities the next couple of months, but even studying has gotten hard. As for serotonin helping anxiety: Even though the mechanism eludes me, it's pretty clear that it works for a fair number of people (my own brother included). http://www.drugs.com/comments/escitalopram/lexapro-for-generalized-anxiety-disorder.html (*) Even though etizolam seems to have a lower potential for causing withdrawals etc, there are quite a few reports of unpleasant etizolam WDs online, as you're probably aware :-)

What exactly did you take? As for increasing HPPD; that's my fear. I can definitely live with temporarily worsened vision, but the uncertainty about whether the worsening is permanent would be the real problem. The visual component of my HPPD has generally been "slowly developing", meaning that it developed over the course of many trips. No one drug experience has made it dramatically worse, it just happened little by little. Thinking about this makes me a little less worried about trying a new course of anxiety treatment.

That is madness! The weaning process from such a dose should be much longer - possibly a year. If your doctor doesn't understand this you may have to get a new one. I am not allowed to recommend illegal actions, but in your situation I would definitely stockpile some benzos. You do not want to be cut off and risk protracted withdrawal symptoms!

Hi all, hope you are doing well. I have been suffering much worsened anxiety lately, to the point that I have daily (relatively mild) panic attacks and feel anxious constantly. It has affected my sleep as well - something that never used to be a problem. Long story short: I'm considering taking an SSRI, probably escitalopram (Lexapro) or citalopram (cipramil and others). I'm interested in your thoughts regarding SSRIs in combination with HPPD. I'm not looking for a cure for HPPD, just for the anxiety, but needless to say I am worried about exacerbating my HPPD. Any thoughts and (especially) personal experiences are much appreciated.

Hey Sam, did you take the citalopram? If so, what were your experiences :-) ?

Is this normal for you? :S I could see this happening if you were a first-time smoker. Personally, I can smoke a couple of cigarettes in a row without any ill effects at all. As a matter of fact, I sometimes do this during breaks when the conversation with fellow smokers is particularly stimulating .