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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

StateOfRegret

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StateOfRegret last won the day on October 6 2014

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  1. StateOfRegret
    I don't think we really need any "unphysical" thinking to explain this. Your experience, memory and behaviour is determined by neuronal pathways in your brains. Think of it as a network of connections which may either weaken or strengthen. SomebodySomewhere's demonic visual can serve as an example (I hope you don't mind, SomebodySomewhere): He explained that he had a visual where people under florescent light looked demonic or dead-looking, and that it originated in a death-focused trip. This kind of experience creates new neuronal pathways, where the light pattern of someone standi
  2. StateOfRegret
    That differs a lot. But it seems that for most it is a very gradual process. That's certainly been the case for me. My HPPD was/is fairly typical in most respects: arising from heavy use of psychedelics, visual symptoms dominated by patterning, moving splotches of colour, morphing etc. Some derealization, dizziness, anxiety. Most of it has gotten a lot better over the course of four years, but it hasn't completely subsided. I should mention, though, that Keppra did help with the visual side of things, when it was prescribed to me.
  3. StateOfRegret
    Done. Good idea!
  4. StateOfRegret
    For a long time, I constantly felt like I'd recently taken some psychedelic. With time, this feeling has diminished. It's still there, but to a lesser extent, and I've mostly learned not to be scared by it (this in itself helps a lot, but it all takes time, of course). That being said, benzodiazepines (particularly clonazepam) definitely gave me some short-term relief, but it's not something I dare use on a daily basis. For me, Keppra (Levetiracetam) did provide some relief from the visual symptoms of HPPD, which helped with the general feeling of derealization. Unfortunately, my doctor t
  5. StateOfRegret
    Yikes, now I feel bad for not seeing this sooner :-/ I've been away for a long while, but I've not forgotten you folks. Nor has HPPD forgotten me, unfortunately ;-)
  6. StateOfRegret
    Yes, definitely. But I smoke a lot, in general.
  7. StateOfRegret
    What you're saying is essentially "Just pull yourself together, man. It's not that bad, you're just fussy about it". Well, for some people it just is that bad. I'm not saying that I'm particularly badly off, personally, but I'm not going to pretend that others are not. That'd be pretty condescending. It is true that your attitude can worsen or better your situation somewhat, but this is not the same as saying that the problem is mainly a matter of attitude. Recognizing the fact that attitude plays a role in your mental health does not mean we are to downplay the severity of actual neurolog
  8. StateOfRegret
    This pisses me off a bit. If you think HPPD is completely negligible, then why are you here? Maybe your HPPD is not so bad. Good for you, then. But don't downplay the struggles of others, that's downright unacceptable. HPPD has driven numerous people to the brink of suicide. Several members here have struggled with it for decades.
  9. StateOfRegret
    My reading speed has gone down quite a lot since I got HPPD. I find it hard to focus on text (which is a bit of a problem, given that I have to read a lot). Letters move around and patterns form in the space between the letters. I wouldn't call it debilitating, but it's definitely an annoyance.
  10. StateOfRegret
    It is difficult to say since there seems to be a lot of individual variability as to what affects the disorder and what doesn't. Personally, alcohol doesn't affect my HPPD except maybe very short term. SSRIs, on the other hand, were clearly detrimental for me, at least in the initial phases (beginning treatment, stepping up the dose). I can't say how they would have affected me in the longer run as I never stayed on them that long.
  11. StateOfRegret
    Hi Bugger, The anxiety is still quite bad, though I have perhaps grown more used to it, which might sound a bit strange. The visuals are still around in the form of coloured splotches and some geometric patterning and "movement" of textured surfaces etc. I think that the intensity may have gone down somewhat, though not drastically. In short, it is essentially business as usual. Last summer I tried Keppra with mostly positive results but had to stop due to liver issues. I believe that I have described this somewhere on the site :-) I'll try to find that thread and elaborate later - I'm on th
  12. StateOfRegret
    Hi Megan, welcome to the forums Perhaps you could describe your symptoms. Describe what makes you consider whether you have HPPD. If you want to read about other people's experiences with HPPD, I recommend that you read some of the threads in the Introductions subforum - there are lots to pick from My personal story is Here.
  13. StateOfRegret
    Hey 415! Thanks for your comments. After trying mirtazapine for a bit longer (it was a couple of months ago, so I can't recall exactly how long, but I think it was 5 or 6 days) I can definitely relate to the "pro-depressant" comment. I'm not usually prone to depression but I felt absolutely anhedonic and grim and was a general pest to everyone in my vicinity while taking it! Definitely not pleasant. I'd have to agree that it is somewhat anxiolytic, though.
  14. StateOfRegret
    I actually have some tianeptine somewhere in a drawer. Never really gave it a fair try, but it's on my to-do list. Afobazole even more so.
  15. StateOfRegret
    Painting; Appreciating your writings! Would love to hear more details on your afobazole experiences (I realize that I'm pretty much just repeating my post from Sep. 17th )
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