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What's the Nurburgring?

Dear RollingRegret, I will try to help you. Now Dr. A is the leading HPPD guy for like 30 years. But the man is human. The dose of Klonopin that you are on is pretty damn large. And if i was on that dosage, instead of one form of zombie i am without Klonopin, i would be another form of zombie. But you have already brought your body up to this large amount. And I think Dr. A realizes that some people react differently to certain drugs, and i feel that because of the subjective nature of people and their reaction to certain drugs, a lot of the treatments become trial-and-error. For this reason you cannot fault DR. A. Nevertheless, I have, personally, had some weird experiences with Benzos esp. Klonopin. They can be very sedating. And I think the comedown from some of these drugs can make you feel worse than the bad-feeling before you had taken it. My advise to you is in the next 1-2 months ween yourself down to 1 mg/day. (maybe 1/2 twice a day). Do this slowly. Maybe, get on Lexapro/Celexa, and/or Wellbutrin XL too. I am not a doctor, but have a lot of experience with these drugs first hand. You could if you wanted to, ask your doctor about those drugs and if it would fit into your HPP treatment.

Hey Qwerty, All these holistic things are good for you, but they may not help you with HPPD necessarily. I have also been on a stupid-dose of hallucinogens, and i read a post that a man posted where he took a super-hero dose of lsd (5 milligrams). Right now your treatments are #1---> TIME; some of the drugs being Benzodiazepines, SSRIs, Bupropion, Sinemet, Keppra, and maybe Buspar or Minipress. Antipsychotics I would throw right out for HPPD. We'll be here for you man. Look for someone to hug, that always made me feel better.

ferret---there are some similar symptoms w/ PD and HP----But the underlying cause of PD is loss/degradation of pigmented nuclei; and this is largely genetically determined. But things like HP and mental illness will (I believe) make you more prone the getting dementia and Alzheimer's in old age (---and maybe perhaps PD as well). If you have PD in your family, it is important to get better from HPPD and stay "sharp", keep your brain active doing brain exercises, puzzles, trivia, fine motor activities, and games for coordination. Just what i would think.....where early on in my HPPD i feared losing these pigmented nuclei and feared getting PD later down the line.....HPPD probably doesn't affect these nuclei though. Now i fear Alzheimer's 'cause that's in my family lol

This can be from DXM overdose, i'm thinking, because it is a dissociative. I'm not sure I understand the neuropathy/numbing that you are expressing, totally. Try to explain it a little more in depth, so that i can understand better.

I just re-read your post and realized some things.........you are lucky! I am about 10 years older and I am in virtually in the same predicament as you. You are only 22. None of us deserve this. And some of us have been "accidentally" dosed as well. If you look historically at people who have become LSD "casualties" (or of any hallucingen), you see similar stories. Syd Barrett, of Pink Floyd, lived in the infamous Cromwell Road Flat. At this apartment, some people, including the rest of the band, refused to eat or drink anything when they came to visit. Barrett's friends, tag-a-longs, and groupies would often party there and eventually people would virtually lace the entire apartment with LSD: food, drink, toothpaste, who knows? It was certainly only a matter of time before Syd lost his marbles. Another story is the story of Jimi Hendrix and some of his fellow musician. First, let's talk about Billy Cox, Jimi's longtime Army buddy and Band of Gypsy bassist. Billy Cox was not into drugs much, certainly not hallucinogens. In fact, even by 1969, i don't believe he ever took any. Well, Jimi was touring over in Europe with Billy Cox in either 1969 or 1970. Billy Cox had to go back to the states and discontinue touring with Jimi because someone laced his drink with an LSD overdose. He lost his mind and basically had a nervous breakdown. Later, it was found that this was also happening to Hendrix himself, a lot, and it has been speculated that one (of many) of these people who were "slipping him mickeys" was his own manager, Michael Jeffrey. Jimi was trying very hard to get rid of Jeffrey because he had been giving Jimi a "sore deal" for quite a long time. It has also been speculated that Jeffery basically "had him killed", for fear of being fired and that he also had quite a large life insurance policy on Hendrix. Another story is of Phil Lesh, bass player for the Grateful Dead. One night before a show, Phil walks into the dressing room and see like seven or 8 people he knew as friends and acquaintances of the band. They have this jug of Apple juice and people are taking swigs off it. They ask him if he wants a sip. He takes a swig. And immediately his nervous system goes into panic mode. Because he could TASTE the LSD in the juice. Usually known as an odorless, tasteless drug: You know you've taken a lot if you can TASTE it! Well....comes to find out that bunch of people put in their GRAMS-worth each. So there could have been 10 GRAMS of LSD in that jug, and he just took a swig. Well.....Mickey Hart had to convince a deer-in-the-headlights Lesh by "peeling him off the ceiling", to get on stage to finish the show. The CIA gave one of their operatives, Frank Olson, LSD when he wasn't expecting it (very large dose) and the man ended up jumping out of 18th floor window of a building, down to his death. There is also a story about Arnie Lerma, ex-Scientologist, who welll......watch this video and a couple other related videos ....also esp. the video of the actually raid....anyway this guy ended up with millions suing the cult

I think that anything in moderation, if you take some sort of homeopathic dose, will probably not harm you .....but for instance if you take 15 tylanol, chances are you'll drop dead. Street drugs can be shady. And unless you are a chemistry genius, you should leave it up to the drug companies, for most issues. Now I don't really like drug companies as big-business-political-power entities, but while we are on the subject of chemistry......an example is Sandoz drug company produced the purest LSD and cocaine pharmaceutically in the 1960's and 1970's. These companies do mess up sometimes but probably better odds than most corner-store dealers.

Ativan = Lorazepam

This is a good question about Tobacco and HPPD.......for the last 14 years I've been smoking cigarettes (mainly Newports). I would have never made it through my first drug-induced visual disturbance episode (in my mind) without cigarettes. But nevertheless it made it worse and could have contributed a little to intensity of its onset (as at the time i was staying very dehydrated and chain-smoking a pack a day and wasn't sleeping that much). All that plus drugs and I was gone. For me, smoking cigarettes was my pastime when i got the HPPD. But when I felt like I was coming out of it, it felt like i had smoked 90 cartons. And my lungs felt like a 30 year old deteriorated balloon. The cigarettes i think can definitely make the visuals worse but helps (depending on your disorder-severity) with anxiety/panic. I don't advise to start smoking though. Another strange phenomenon is that the taste of the cigarette would linger so incredibly long on my palette that it was totally driving me NUTS: from smoking 1 cig it felt like the taste would literally last for days and days and days. This is really annoying. Add some sedating Klonopin into the mix and i was really ready to lose it.

I hear ya buddy lol......I've had tinnitus for about 15 years in my right ear. Tinnitus is usually caused by hearing loss. I even remember when I got to the point of no return. I don't think my hearing will ever come back and the tinnitus will always be there. I have 45% loss. I was at a concert with the Beastie Boys, Rage Against the Machine and Bad Religion. During Bad Religion, that was it, never been the same since. Don't ever see them. TOO loud. Anyway, here's what to do, i believe most of the damage is caused by the High or High-Mid frequencies (like maybe 700hz-20kHz) but there can be physical damage from being to close to bass cabs too. Really loud things that last only a second are bad but something loud that lasts longer and longer in duration, for every second that goes by, those little conductive hairs in your ear are being damaged/broken etc. Stay away from bad electronics, MP3 players, concerts or jam sessions without good earplugs, loud drunken people, and headphones. If it is too high pitched, abrasive, or it hurt, just get out of there. Now that you have a touch of it, drink a lot of water and take 1 pill of aspirin. And they say CoQ10....i guess.

I've seen the clover-thing too........but like i have this weird control (or uncontrol) of my rods and cones in my eye, this is when my eyes are open, everything can just go dark, i mean dark black in the daytime (usu. while taking shower) but this doesn't happen anymore

It sounds like you have a weak case of dissociation/anxiety/HPPD (one, 2, or all of the 3).......Do you smoke cigarettes? Make sure you are sleeping well and do not have sleep apnea too. I think ecstasy is notorious for that dissociative stuff, esp. the not-so-pure stuff. Just stop everything, all drug use. See if it goes away.

Snow, like on a no-reception TV channel, was my CEV. Also earlier on, I was having flying comets and hornet stripes but that was closed- or open-eyed. I was also getting different-sized round-spinning lights. This kind of reminded me of the cover to Led Zeppelin III. Also popping bubbles, every few seconds. Also I was getting this weird thing: like if i was taking a shower, i could make my entire vision BLACK.

2muchmandy---my HPPD just settled down this month ---***6 months to settle down***. For panic attacks and snow, You got to take a brown paper bag breathe into it-----inflating/deflating/inflating/deflating----repeat 'til you feel better. You're getting some dissociative sht. Try a deep, deep cough a few times. Feel your pulse..... and drink some water. Eventually, breathe in thru the nose out thru the mouth, slow , lay down and watch some TV, to take your mind off. also get some Ativan, take about 1/8 of a mg, give or take

Oh man.......bang for your buck i guess. Have you tried Wellbutrin? (or even ssri's) It really helped me after the initial "hell-on-earth" phase. Hopeful we can get you down to feeling only like 10ug.

I'm guessing you are in your middle 30's, I'm in my early 30's. I know that after i was off drugs that i had "visual residue" for years. But it was more of a visual thing that needed fine-tuning over years of sobriety. Now with my new onset of HPPD (w/i the last 6 months), it was a whole n'other level of HP, not your average stuff that i was used to. From a scale of 1-10, 10 being the absolute terrorism, how do you rate your HPPD? Still you must feel better than you did, let's just say, three months after stopping everything 17 years go.

Jay- I'm surprised you haven't gotten much better in the last (what did u say?) 15 years. How much drug did you take and what drug?

I'm definitely into it ............ you're in Scotland? I have a big American truck and was thinking of doing something here too in America (I'm from NY). But I am willing to try anything and I have been to Europe in the past. .......though also I really want to eventually find a new place to start a new life.

The thing is, is that you have become one with the drugs and accept your state of intoxication as normal. The problem is I highly doubt you are living up to your full potential. I think that if you were to smoke a massive amount of PCP, do a few grams of bath salts, drop a few mg of LSD, and shite-load of DOB, all together, that your moderate symptom of HPPD would turn to severe. Basically, you are putting your head in the lion's mouth, in hopes that he might whisper some universal/cosmic truths. If you feel the need to continue taking these drugs, perhaps there is some reason (i.e. addictive personality, neurotransmitter/psychiatric disorder, you don't feel right/good sober, etc.).

If anybody's got some ideas for a road trip or life-change adventure, I'm not doing anything, and I'm a little scared of doing it by myself, but I'm down to give it a shot.

Yeah.....you got that DP/DR stuff.......i know that feeling esp. with a leaves-thing you were talking about .......All that: take-a-deep-breath, feel-good, looking-far-into-the-horizon confidence kinda just goes away, and you are kinda floating 2 feet behind your eyes, things in your periphery, and this 2-dimensional fishbowl sight: trying to differentiate one leaf from the next, one tree from the next, as they blow in the wind.

I'm thinking some of those visual things should start going away 6,7,8 months after 1st HP signs. Yeah it feels like one step forward, 2 steps back. Once the visual stuff goes away, then it will be time to start building yourself back up from the ground up. It's a really debilitating and when it's all over you feel like you have just given birth to an elephant lol ....well in a way.... Then you are able to get some traction, get out of the red, and start getting into positive headway in terms of progress and becoming everything you envisioned yourself being (b4 this all happened). There may be only one thing you're gonna learn after all this: patience. "What a looong, strange trip it's beeeen....." -"Truckin'" - the Grateful Dead

WOW man. Good stuff. I'd love to go on a road trip and start anew......talk about having to get a little out of your comfort zone. Now all you gotta do is find some people you can trust, be careful brother.

I'd stay away from that sht.......for HP, doesn't sound too beneficial .....then again what do i know. I guess if you are apneic or narcoleptic.....i'm pretty sure those aren't huge symtoms of HPPD.......Looks like it would work for ADD but some people say Wellbutrin works for ADD ....so hard to tell.......provigil seems to be esp. good for causing skin problems...........some of these prodrugs or smart drugs, i think, are metabolized in weird places like your lungs or something, i don;t know......they use the drug in the army for prolonged missions .......see what the doc says

If you don't have ADD I wouldn't advise taking amphetamines; Nevertheless, if you do have it, than it may be necessary for you to be on the proper medication to complete your schooling and not be "f'ked up". When I had HP/flashbacks the first time, I had to get off my ADD meds for about 1.5 years and actually the doctors put me on some antipsychotics. Needless to say, those meds helped very little, and perhaps made some things worse. But I was completely unable to take ADD meds at that time. ADD meds are NOT at all good for hallucinations and prolonged drug-induced psychosis.