miketusa

Wow, are you a wizard?

hahaha hopefully not that many

I've only done coke a handful of times since I've gotten HPPD. And I did a pretty conservative amount. But that usually isn't the case. I don't touch psychedelics. At all. Never will again. I definitely don't moderate too much when it comes to drugs. Kinda hard. But I will say, as far as the amount goes, unless its alcohol there seems to be no HPPD related limit. That is, a bump of coke, or a line, it makes no difference. That being said, I certainty would not call this the rule. I usually take it slow, just to be safe. Pills, coke, and weed are kinda the only things I have messed with since getting HPPD. I do drink a few beers from time to time. But I can definitely party like once a week or so, sort of like I used to without any negative side effects. Maybe a slight visual spike. Maybe Ill feel a little "weird" the next morning. But its usually gone within the day if I feel bad at all. I for sure do not party daily, like I used to. It's like a weekend or every other week. I don't think it would work if I was partying hard everyday.

My psychedelic use was infrequent. I tripped on, basically, heroic doses of LSD and DXM around three times each. Did shrooms once. I tend to think of myself as a casualty of synthetic cannabis/RC's. I can't say LSD ever put me in an uncomfortable place. No, it was a mix of smoking spice and psychedelics that led to my inability to smoke marijuana. Or as you put it"trip" when i smoked. It was cannabis, I believe, that initiated my full blown HPPD. Though, I highly suspect that something else lay within the bowl on that fateful afternoon, and yes I had a terrible "trip" that day. Extreme paranoia. I thought my friend was going to kick my ass for some reason. It went away within hours. But for the next few weeks the DP/DR started kicking in. So this, coupled with a lot of drinking. Pills, coke. And kind of all in the same time frame seemed to lead to my inevitable mental breakdown. Cant say I was surprised. Like Jerry said "Maybe you had too much too fast?"

Sounds really interesting. Please, do share your experiences with the forum when the time comes.

One of the few times I went to the doctor bio feed back was recommended. That, and that I go back to school and get a job to "relieve my subconscious anxieties." Unfortunately her presumptuous attitude made me feel like she didn't know what she was talking about. Perhaps its worth checking out, though.

I see faces in patterns a lot. But thats because I constantly look for them when looking at patterns i find interesting. Kinda like making shapes out of clouds. I never thought about it being HPPD related, though. Perhaps just a coincidence.

Basically this. Almost in its entirety. When I smoked I'd trip balls. Due to stubbornness or the desire to feel good I just kept smoking very small amounts with friends. Eventually I realized I was smoking the same amount as them, feeling great and living my life again. And it was almost that easy. Obviously I had bad days. But I'd smoke and the bad feeling I got was less and less. And soon when I smoked id feel better. It helped me relearn to quiet my mind. To process thoughts in a more "normal" manner. The head space of being high was so familiar, that when I smoke I would feel so normal! If I couldn't retreat into to pre HPPD perceptually, than for me, this was the next best thing. So in many ways, marijuana has helped me enjoy my life again. It's almost hard to admit. Especially on this forum. Again, the last thing I want anyone to do is start taking bong rips in the hopes that it will cure you! But I also think the whole swear off every conceivable substance is going to do you more harm than good. You need to learn to at least be around these things, they occur frequently life, and to avoid them in their entirety is to concede to not live one! Of course the irony of all this is that I live in a place where everyone would much rather I drank. If I get caught I go to jail, and that is anxiety enough to keep me from feeling good most days. In many ways my life has become bound to the plant. And it sucks to have a crutch. But it keeps the blues at bay, and keeps me in a good place. I'd also rather be dependent on marijuana than benzos and painkillers like I was. Ive also dropped smoking cigarettes in favor of vaping nicotine juices. To anyone who smokes, this, I highly recommend! So long as you don't mind looking like a weird guy in public. Of course everyone has their opinions, and I would ask that anyone that reads this to understand that this disorder is multifaceted! What works for me, may not work for you!

Drinking for whatever reason seems riskier. After the onset of my symptoms the thing that would make it 100 times worse was drinking. I would literally wake up the next day DP/DR'd as all hell. I mean as bad as it could probably be. My static would thicken, so much so that the walls seemed to move. Unfortunately I lived in a place where that was all that we did. And the lack of understanding of my condition led me to indulge despite my health issues. This initially led to a worsening of my condition. I developed new symptoms after a few nights of light binge drinking. Star-bursting, and tinnitus came as result. After a year my HPPD mellowed out and settled. As a result, it seemed like I could have a few beers without too much risk. However, the only time I still feel the pinch of DP/DR is after a night of medium-heavy drinking. I can usually have 2 to 4 and be fine. Sometimes a few more. I just never know, so I try not drink too often, if at all.

Most of us have had HPPD for years. 1 month is not a long enough amount of time to determine the severity and seriousness of your condition, if you have one at all. I would be greatly, greatly surprised if your DP/DR did not sort itself out somewhat. It took me a year or so to get rid of it almost completely.

The whole weed thing is so weird. I can't decide if its some PTSD like reaction people are having, or a direct result of the cannabis. Personally this was my first symptom of hppd. I think it was a result of a JWH(spice) overdose that led to my inability to cope with marijuana smoking. Either way I did not have HPPD then, just that one symptom. I continued to smoke, even though Id often get panic attacks, or come close to them. Something just wasn't right. It was like I was smoking spice every time I smoked pot. It just kept putting me in bad place. After I got hppd from a panicky episode I quit for a while. My HPPD has remained relatively the same for almost two years now.That is, I have mostly visual symptoms. I have a little anxiety, and tinnitus in my right ear. All that being said, I smoke weed every day. Every day. For about 6 months, now. No changes. Nothing. I don't feel any better or worse symptom wise. If anything, weed helps with what little HPPD I have, ironically. If I get a little DP feeling, I smoke a bowl and it goes away. This seems to be an extremely rare case, however. As most people are effected in the way you describe. Sooo TL;DR - At first, yes! After about a year and a half I can smoke again.

My thoughts exactly.

Any symptoms that aren't related to your vision? Out of body feelings? Forgetfulness? Deep anxieties, that sort of thing? It's nice to hear that you have achieved so much. I am supposed to move to France to go to school. But the knowledge that I will have to master French on top of going to school especially in such an unfamiliar place is borderline agonizing. I am a terrible student. And I know much will be expected of me. I have been battling with myself to rise to the occasion. But I continually put off the necessary paper work required to obtain a visa. Though, I suppose some of the anxieties stemming from this might be normal. Anyways, I find it even more comforting to know you also achieved a degree in English Lit. As I find literature to be a passion of mine. However I have found HPPD negativiely affects my cognitive ability to write and read to a degree. I have not been able to decide if this is a product of my own thoughts, though. Did you observe any similar issues in your experience? Sorry for the long rant! Like I said, glad to know life goes on in some capacity!

Yeah the few people I have mentioned it too think I'm full of shit. More or less. They don't think its a serious problem as I am not visibly suffering.

^same It kinda stopped my symptoms from progressing. But now it doesn't seem to do much for me. Also note that the danger of dependence is very real. And I would be careful with mixing it as well. I mixed it with a couple tramadols a few weeks ago and had some weird muscle twitches.

I took some Robitussin yesterday because I'm sick. Knocked me out. But I feel great today.

That does sound interesting, if anything!

Eh. I've kinda been slowly getting better over the course of a year. This time last year my DP/DR was really bad. But I'm sure that was the French winter, and the bottles of alcohol we drank. Everyone drinks too much, I wish I could drink too much, too. It's hard to picture things getting much better. But they arent bad. I can't complain too much when I see what some of the posters on this site have been dealing with for the better part of two or three decades. But I'd say I'm doing alright. HPPD doesnt really sit in my head like it used to. And I dont obsessively check symptoms anymore. As there is no real point. Better some days than others. Sometimes I'd wish this shit would be a bit more decisive in its severity. Let me off the leash or consume my brain completely damnit! It's like being stuck in this weird I have HPPD, I dont have HPPD world. I transcend the HPPD non-HPPD border guys. It's very enlightening. I'm really, very, enlightened. Or depressed, or crazy. Or both. It's going swell.

I've never been clean. It's much easier for me to justify things being dirtier, though. Im kind of a helpless, hopeless, pessimistic, chain smoker these days. Rooms always dark. I'm really unkempt and feel rather unhealthy. Like any day I'll wake up in heaven and the angels will tell me I lived a full life and died in my sleep unhealthy.

I smoke frequently. For a while as you said, smoking was much like tripping on acid. However, I believed that in particular came from smoking spice. I wasnt able to smoke marijuana and feel normal for a few months leading up to my HPPD onset after I had a JWH overdose. I remember telling my friend this and he said to me "You fucked your body up." Ironically, he was right. My symptoms really came about in full force after I smoked some questionable bud some months later. After about a year though, its kinda back to normal. I cant say for sure. I get pretty high usually. But I slowly built up a tolerance, and slowly reintroduced my body to it. At first taking just one or two. Now I thoroughly enjoy it. As I once did. And it is one of my only escapes from HPPD and the stresses of navigating my unsuccessful 21 year old life. So, eventually I found it made no real impact on my symptoms overall. Albeit, seemingly. I say seemingly because I thought the same thing about alcohol, but I was dead wrong. Alcohol made my hppd worse after the inital onset. I kept drinking even though my HPPD was HORRENDOUS back then. Which added to my symptoms. So its been over a year with HPPD. Its gotten better. I can drink a few beers, and smoke as much as I want. As far as I know, without making this worse. Its kinda give and take at this point. I dont think my HPPD will get any better than it has. Might as well enjoy my life and hope it doesnt get any worse. I dont suffer from DP often. And I dont have much unwarranted anxiety. Though my anxiety is much easier to trigger. Anyways, ultimately it's a decision youll have to make for yourself. And at the risk of being too presumptuous, Ill take a shot in the dark and assume youll probably end up smoking sometime soon. And thats just it. None of us can really tell you how you will react to it. As evidenced by the myriad of answers you received. More than likely it wont be too pleasant. So take a hit or two and see if you can relax. If its making you anxious then I would say its best to pass on pot for a while and come back to in a few months and try again. You just kinda need to "experiment" with it, ironically. Sorry I cant be of more help.

I experience quite the opposite! A good buzz off a few beers and im good. I hit the hard hooch for one night and im DP'd for days. Drinking is literally the only thing that causes DP for me now. I can smoke pot, snort coke whatever, and ill be fine. Take a few shots and im fried for 2 days.

True. But my question is. . . Why do some get HPPD from tripping a handful times, while others ingest things like LSD and Shrooms fairly regularly and have little to no problems. What is that makes us susceptible to it? Or is it just random?

Im inclined to agree with predisposition being a fairly important postulate in the long conversation of HPPD. I am pretty sure my brother has very minute symptoms of HPPD. He did a lot less drugs than I did, thank the good lord. My condition and the similar condition of a few friends has shied him away from further entheogenic escapades. My mother wasnt exactly sane. In fact several incidents in my memory lead me to believe she may have been bipolar. She suffered several nervous breakdowns and often sat on one end of the emotional spectrum or the other. As does my brother from time to time. As do I. Though, I would not go as far to say that either us suffer it. My brothers mental issues are in a class of their own. That being said. I see no reason why predisposition, even if a parent hasnt ingested something like LSD, isn't a very real thing. There simply has to be something "upstairs" out of step with us in comparison to the rest of the shroom eating, marijuana smoking populace.

Hope things improve 50. As someone who suffers from HPPD without constant DP/DR I can honestly say that it is by far the worst symptom. Then anxiety. Those two things tend to go hand in hand though. Getting over that is key to recovery. Or at least feeling somewhat comfortable enough to deal with every day life.

I'd just wait it out. Chances are you'll be fine after a few days. I smoke sometimes with hppd. Last night I smoked and it was the first time in a while where it made my hppd significantly worse. It's always around January when my hppd becomes unbearable. I hate this time of year. I think you'll be fine. Just chill out ad watch some movies, and stay in bed.