Jay1

4 days is way too soon for any of us to be able to say, i'm afraid. Just try to de-stress, don't take any drugs etc for a while and see what is going on. One thing I can say with certainty though is that doing another dose any time soon is a huge gamble. Having lingering visuals is a big indicator that you could get HPPD. Adding any fuel to the fire, right now, is the worst possible idea. Keep us up to date as the days/weeks go on. Hopefully it is something that will go away soon.

It certainly sounds similar, just without the open eyed visuals usually associated with hppd. A lot of the issues sound like some form of DP/DR (The DP part is what makes you feel like you are not connected to your body, but the DR part is the more trippy/dreamy state of mind). I imagine all the same triggers will generally apply, so try to avoid things like caffeine, extra stress etc. Try to stay calm and see how this goes over the next few months. Good luck, Jay

If there are no ongoing, 24/7 visual symptoms, then it would likely be classed as DP/DR (Depersonalisation and Derealisation). That is what I have always considered at fault for my own constant feelings of trippiness. You really need to stop smoking weed. You will have next to no chance of any recovery if you are smoking daily. Whether you have HPPD or DP/DR is almost moot at this point... It seems that both issues are exasperated and dampened by the same things. No more drugs, no more caffeine, eat healthy, work out, distract yourself, de-stress yourself. If you get very desperate, benzos can help alleviate some of that trippy feeling (that and alcohol are the only two things that I have had any success with, both carry serious negatives and addiction potential though, so tread carefully)

Yea, it doesn't sound like HPPD to me either. You mention you have bipolar with psychotic features... A few of my friends have similar and cannabis is one of the worst things to aggravate their symptoms. Is it really worth it for the help with twitching/insomnia? Could you maybe try a high CBD, very low THC strain? Can you think of anything else that has triggered this spike in symptoms? Maybe stress or illness?

Yes, please indicate why you think you have hppd. Did you take drugs recently, what are your symptoms? I'm sorry to hear you are in pain, but it could further damage you to mis-diagnose. The safe things you can start to do though are to stop taking any drugs (not meds), stop taking caffeine and try to de-stress... whatever helps you take your mind of this, films, tv, games, getting out in nature etc

Yea, Wales is a bit cheaper and more relaxed on what you can do with land... But that means leaving all our friends and family. If it was just me, i'd certainly think about moving to another country (Thaliand!), but I have to think about my wife too. She's open to living an off grid life, but needs to be close enough to visit family. We are currently looking into living on a boat. You can live tax/fee free on a boat as long as you move to a different mooring every 2 weeks... Could be a nice way to be in nature without the $750k+ price tag.

Yea, mine isn't as strong as in that picture, though it's hard to define, as my visual field is also flashing all the time. Like you, if I look at white, black and especially blue background (the sky is the worst) then it looks more like that pic. oh, and yes to halos and starburst.

Strong VS, strong geometric patterns (green/blue), crazy CEVs, long after images, warping and the worst of all, my entire visual field flashes about 6 times a second (i think this is called strobing?). There's probably other stuff, but I always forget the terms people use.

I tend to get the opposite on a high dose... Just blank out, no dreams and find it near impossible to wake myself up. I imagine the underlying stress you are going through is the main culprit. The very worst nightmares I get are when I binge drink though, hellish stuff.

I probably tripped on acid 50 or so times and maybe 10 times on mushrooms over the course of 2-3 years. I was lucky that that only led to fairly mild visuals and no anxiety/dpdr... I then got heavily into MDMA (easily 100+ times), plus lots of speed and coke. That's what really fucked me up. I don't think it's worth overly stressing about figuring out what drug or which specific time on that drug caused this shit. The only real lesson to learn is we can no longer take drugs and need to avoid anything that makes our condition worse.

Yea, it's possble, for sure. The first 1-2 years of my hppd were visual only. It's only when I started using MDMA that I got dpdr and anxiety.

You sound like you are living my dream life... I really want to live out in the country somewhere and just look after animals and nature and move away from technology. Sadly, in England, that lifestyle is pretty much only for the rich.

The basic difference is ... If you did drugs and then developed visuals issues, that's HPPD... If you didn't do drugs, it's VSS. I'm sure there is a grey area in between though. Drugs might just bring on VSS, for instance.

Sorry to hear, Spartan... Keep on fighting, mate! PM me if you ever need any support.

People tend to put derealisation and depersonalisation together (dpdr). That combo is probably what best describes the trippy feeling. Derealisation being that dreamy, unreal feeling combined with depersonalisation, where you don't feel fully attached to your body. If i'm feeling really floaty, I sometimes pinch myself as hard as I can on the arm, seems to snap me back into reality a bit! I think in a previous post, you mentioned you don't take any meds... While i'd never want to push anyone down that route, it is worth noting that benzos do take the dpdr away a bit, if you ever need a break (just make sure to research a lot before you ever try such a med).

Hi, sorry to hear about your conditioning worsening with age... It's a big worry for me too, as I already feel like i'm slipping into some kind of dementia at 44. DR really is the worst... I can deal with the visuals, I can just about get past the anxiety... but feeling like i'm tripping still is just the worst, especially in social situations where everyone else is just in a normal mental state.

From what I remember, there is no sign of any brain damage in hppd sufferers when tested on the typical devices like MRI and CT scans.

5htp worked ok for me, no side effects and got me out of a depressive slump. Others have reported side effects though, so if you try it, go slow and steady. Inositol also seemed to work, for me.

Yep clonazepam works for me. It's a magic bullet really. But be careful of addiction... I just take it sporadically and have done for 13 years now with no tolerance/addiction issues. I sometimes take beta blockers too, which help with the psychical symptoms of anxiety, but do nothing for hppd itself. Time also really helps... I was also in a very dark place when i was 17... By the time I was 20, i had learnt coping techniques and pushed myself to a better place. By that time, i was at college, had a side job, had a girlfriend and my own place.. It's amazing how quickly life can change... Just keep on fighting.

I do lately, but I put that down to overuse of screens. For 20+ years with hppd, i had no blurring issues.

Not for me... My long term memory is quite bad, possibly a combo of brain fog from hppd and just getting older. Short term memory seems ok.

Never noticed any difference, visually. I actually sometimes feel quite a bit better after laughing, whether they are sad tears or tears form laughing... Seems to release something inside me.

I would even avoid adding any new supplements, for now, too. Begin to understand your symptoms without any extra input for a month or two. Stop drinking anything with caffeine. Try to distract your brain as much as possible, films/tv/games/exercise etc ... whatever it takes.

Yea, that very much sounds like DPDR. Were you taking drugs before the shock event that caused this?

Absolute worst case scenario, you should be able to walk into any hospital, explain what has happened and get an emergency dose. Going cold turkey off klono after so long can be dangerous and it is their duty to help (at least here in the UK).