Jay1

Welcome Thimon, it sounds like you have the right attitude to overcome this. Keep on fighting

Hi, nothing in your vision issues sound like hppd to me. Maybe some kind of secondary effect of dp/dr

Good to see you are in a better place!

Nice post @Aaanna , welcome to the forum

just be careful with the benzos, easy to get addicted. Take as and when needed, imho.

If you are prone to hppd, I don't really know that any preventive measure will work. I never had a bad trip and now suffer from severe hppd. Is your OCD really troublesome enough to risk a lifetime of severe mental illness? Hppd is way more than just visuals for most here.

Hi, welcome to the forum. That's a hell of an achievement getting down to 5mg in 6 months!

Yes, i see huge green and blue splotches

From reading that, I really don't think you need them. Benzos can considerably add to the feelings of depression and are only worth it when you are suffering even from more anxiety. My recommendation would be to just try to fill your day with things so that you notice it less and less... Stay sober, eat healthy, avoid caffeine and alcohol... I bet you will be hppd free in a few months.

If it is like a camera flash, then that is know as an after image, which is part of the hppd visual symptoms, but I would recommend going to see a doctor too. It is certainly not a known symptom of schizophrenia.

Remember that clonazepam is highly addictive and also makes you very tired and forgetful. Use it only when you need it.

The way I see it is simple... If you can still smoke weed and not have a complete breakdown, you have not come close to reaching your hppd limit. Whether you want to try and find that limit is up to you and the easiest way is to carry on taking drugs. I'm saying this as someone who get milder hppd and then kept pushing my limit until I had a life crippling disorder.

Welcome, have things improved since that first year?

This is quite funny really: "Can i still smoke weed?" "well, staying totally sober is the best bet" "What about spice?" "well, staying totally sober is the best bet, no more drugs of any kind" "Just some coke then?"

How about clonazepam or one of the other benzos? They are the only meds that have any impact on my tripiness.

I feel ya, i'm 23 years in now. I describe it as being stuck in those last few hours of a trip, where you are starting to feel a bit more normal, but still not quite there. Have you tired any meds?

Yep, this is known as dp/dr (depersonalisation and derealisation). It often goes hand in hand with hppd visual symptoms. It's my most hated symptom. The feeling of being on a boat is also connected to this, imho. We do not feel 100% connected to our body and it puts us off balance. Even the smallest head movement can make me feel disconnected. I've always maintained that what people often refer to as hppd is actually 3-4 issues in one. Hppd visuals, anxiety, dp/dr and sometimes depression. Clonazepam is the only thing that helps me reduce these symptoms.

My advice is to go completely sober of everything that can affect hppd (negatively or positively) so that you get to know and understand your baseline. If you just jump straight into meds that will hide your symptoms, you might then start doing things that are making you worse without really noticing it. Give it 2-3 months and see what happens with your baseline. You might start naturally recovering... If you don't, then look into meds. If the hppd gets really bad during that time though, then yes, benzos can really help.

If you want the best chance to heal, you need to stay totally sober... No spice, no weed, no anything.

Weed is going to make things worse, no doubt.

Just try to relax and see how you heal over the next few months... Don't do any more drugs, try to eat well and exercise and just do things that take you mind off hppd (films, tv, books, sports... whatever works)

i get outlines.. but green and blue vision shaking, not sure... more like flashing/flickering, but it does seem like micro judders in my visions too. Last two, i don't get. Smoking weed is not gonna help though

I've met other people with some signs of hppd, but only ever quite mild visual snow. Not the geometric visual storm that we seem to be blessed with! I know exactly what you mean by vortexs... I've described them as digital tornados before, especially noticeable along the top of a tv or screen.

Interested to hear how you get on. Good luck

Yea, that swimming feeling is very much something I get too. I've always associated it with dpdr, but it could be something physical, or both.