Jay1

Sorry to hear this, most of us here have had this mindset at some point in life. A few things to note, there are anti depressants to try that are not SSRI that can help. I had some success with both 5HTP and Inositol. It is also worth noting that life can change quite quickly... I had awful depression for the first three years of my hppd but it lifted as I entered my twenties and was like a huge weight off my shoulders... My life is far from perfect, but without depression, I could start getting some enjoyment. The key to me getting out of my depression seemed to be making a huge change in my life, moving from my home town to a new country and trying to forge a life there from nothing. The challenges kept my mind active and a new scene seemed to relight every part of my life. Keep on fighting and PM me if you need anything, even just to rant.

Try to let go of any guilt about further drug taking... Most of us have been in the same place and tried to self medicate... It's a natural response and one you made without having any info about hppd. Regarding meds, I think you will find some relief with clonazepam... It really helps with my visuals, dpdr and anxiety. It comes with a BIG risk though... Addiction and tolerance. My advice is, if it works, try a 3.5 days on, 3.5 days off regime... With occasional 2 week breaks. This has proved to be a sweet spot for me for 10+ years now and has literally saved my life.

Sounds to me like you have become tolerant/addicted to the valium and the move down 2mg caused a withdrawal spike.

The only one that works for me are benzos, but they come with a huge addiction risk and you really need to be very strong willed to avoid getting hooked. I have heard people have success with beta blockers and pregabalin

No one can answer those questions.. You might be ok, you might completely ruin your life. It sounds like you got incredibly lucky to come through the other end and have a form of hppd that can be managed. I'd quit while you are ahead. I was in your situation and carried on pushing my luck and got totally fucked over and have had life altering, severe hppd for 24 years now. You say that quitting drugs would suck.... What sucks FAR more is not being able to have 1 moment of the rest of your life with any kind of peace or true happiness. What sucks is not being able to maintain eye contact with your wife as her face swirls and distorts... Or not being able to chat to your parents without crippling anxiety. Or going to a job interview feeling like you are on acid. You'll only realise how amazing peaceful sobriety is when it is no long an option.

I've pinned the post.. come on people, get filling it out!

MadDoc has covered it well there. the majority of people who sign up on here tend to stop posting after a couple of months, which suggests that most cases of hppd heal after a while (this is backed up with anecdotal evidence from speaking to people via PM here). Try not to stress about it for now. I wouldn't even read up too much about it. Just eat well, excercise, take your mind off it any way you can. This does add to my fear about the sudden gold rush towards mdma/lsd as a legitimate therapeutic treatment though.

I've verified this already.

Never heard of it, but judging by the Wiki, it seems to work in a similar way to Keppra/Lamictal. It seems pretty "safe" in hppd terms... Just taper up gently. Interested to hear how it goes.

Welcome back. Can you please take off that huge post from the forum homepage. Accessing the forum quickly should be number one priority for any newcomer. Pin it on the busiest sub forum.

Sorry to hear this, sounds very scary. Do you have any visuals disorders, or is this dpdr? What meds have you been put on?

If you think this sounds like a dream come true, you are wildly misinformed. It is not like tripping all the time.. You have no feelings of joy, or insight. Just all the very ugly aspects. Anyone saying otherwise has some very mild form is this. Imagine your strongest trip ever, now remember that feeling when you've come down but you are still fucked up (and remove any feelings of relief that you made it through to the other side)... You're disphoric, depressed, anxious, nervous, paranoid, your mind is starting to make normal thoughts, but something is still very off, your vision is all messed up, but without the joy and insight, it's just an ugly mess. Don't underestimate this illness. I'd literally rather have cancer, or have my arms cut off.

Yea, i love music festivals... It's one of those very rare moments that I embrace my hppd and loose myself in my visuals and dpdr. I'm in an experimental ambient/electronica band... So will be hoping to play some festivals soon!

Look through his other posts... He is trolling, or if he isn't, he is strongly encouraging drug use without offering any thought or insight, I don't see any benefit to keeping him/her on the forum. There are loads of posts here about post-hppd drug use and i have no problem with that, it is all part of our learning curve... But those posts have insight. Not just "drugs are great" posts.

Judging by your post history, it seems you are trolling. One more post like this and you are banned.

Welcome to the forum. Glad to hear that you are stopping the ketamine and coke. Ket is (was) my fave drug, but it is really bad for hppd, it put my visuals into overdrive. As for tips, staying away from drugs is the big one, but also avoid getting drunk (a few beers is ok for most here, not all), be careful with caffeine, generally try to avoid stress wherever possible, eat healthy, work out, try to do things that take your mind off it all. Are you taking any meds?

Probably something to do with blood pressure in the brain. I often get this if I stand up too quickly or after very hard excerise. My wife also gets this before a migraine. ps - i have had this since before drugs, so if we are talking about the same thing, it is unlikely hppd related.

hppd wise, you have a mild form, by the sounds of it... This is your body giving you a massive alarm call not to take any more drugs (even weed). If you stay sober, eat healthy and just go out and do some fun stuff (non drug fun!) you'll probably fully recover. As for the other stuff, sounds like your anxieties are just getting the better of you. Go have a health check and put your mind at ease.

hi billy, yea... two of my friends have also had mild hppd visual symptoms but no dpdr or anxiety issues... that's from a group of about 20 of us that all did lsd and mdma. 2 also got psychosis. My one friend who gets hppd visuals and knows about my issues still blasts a lot of ket and now dmt, stresses me out, but what can you do.

Welcome Aaanna. Glad you found the forum!

Why would you want to try Deantix? It has nothing to suggest it will help HPPD, it could make it worse. I think you are just desperate to keep taking substances.

Usually caused by anxiety, which can be caused by dp/dr.

Hi Harry,.. very sorry to her about your you mum dying, must be heart breaking. Stress is a huge factor in HPPD and grief is the worst stress you can get. As the grief slowly passes, the stress will too, which will help your dp/dr. I would chat to your business partner about having some time off, or at least lessen your hours. Dealing with your grief and mental health is the most important thing now. I'm sure something can be arranged, but you need to begin to talk about things with people near and dear to you (even if you don't mention hppd specifically). Are you trying any medication?

It sounded a bit like benzo withdrawal... But that would rule that out

Did you stop taking Xanax between the time it helped and the time of the relapse?