Merkan

Took my open water diver license this summer. It was great. When you are beneath the water everything goes blank in your head and you are just there as a observer to a completely new world. These weird creature looking at you like you are the alien. Also, breathing goes down in to a comfortable pace, like in meditation. Love it. Too bad i live in the north so its often very cold and dark in the waters but this is really something to explore. I did lie on the med sheet about my condition and meds, though i dont think they would make any difference but a bored doc could have stopped me.

Not really HPPD-forum. Its about everything, thats one of many topics in the drug category.

I do not wanna scare anyone but i know about one guy who developed full HPPD on remeron without ever touching any drug except alcohol. He said that he would gladly sell his soul to get well which as far as i know did not happen. Edit: already wrote that

Sorry for loosing your wife, i cannot relate since i never had a relationship. I dont know what to say, i am struggling with God as well. Actually i told God that under these circumstances i cannot rationally believe in "Him" as i been tought. What i've learned though is that nothing is certain in life here on earth, we cannot escape the harsh reality that we are like leafs in the wind. Of course some parts can be controlled and we can choose to accept what we cannot control or understand everything. I do however believe in God as a being and yes, i believe in Christ or at least i would like to, but when i look at life and what is going on in the world, God does not necessarily control what is going on on this earth. Actually i find things like "everything happens for a reason" as total BS. In the end the comfort i now found in God is that there is something more to life then what i can see in front of me and that the journey continues in the afterlife. What and how that will be i do not know as well as i cannot proof there actually is an afterlife. But what i can do is define myself here on earth and learn what road to take and what not to make me as happy as possible. To sum it up, what can i do to be as happy as possible in life with HPPD (and other issues that you are mentioning). No life isn't fair and the only way to keep going is to start accepting it. Sorry for preaching but i that is how i look at it.

I know thatcsome people have had major issues with the oral ones. I have an ear infection and got Terracortril drops. They contain both cortison as well as anti-biotics (polymyxin). Since i am about to start studying there is no room for a setback. Should i be concerned with the topical anti-biotics as well? I do have symptoms back again but i am not sure what is what.

À person developed Hppd-symptoms only with remeron devestaded, never touched drugs.

I wish i could drink the occasional pint or two just for social causes, but alcohol is a "no, no". I did not drink very much at all post HPPD but there is a lot of social stigma about it.

Visual>> thx for that Can you drink without problem? I get hppd symptoms for months post drinking.

Levodopa is L-dopa with cardiodopa. Short amount of time, works for some hours.

Same thing here Jay

I actually agree with you on this Gill. I believe there is much more potential at this board the the previous.

I should say that i use clonazepam in a low dose but i did that before Keppra so i cannot say for sure if it is only Keppra, but it seems like it is the no 1. for visuals since my visuals comes back when i lower the Keppra dose alone and clonazepam on a low doze did not do much when i took it alone. I will try to lower my clonazepam dose slowely just to check if the visuals will come back. The levodopa is a short term thing that seems to make some people a lot better of feeling "normal" for a short amount of time. This is a parkinsons med and nothing to play around with on your own since it effects your liver but it seems to be the next "big" one in the order Clonazepam>Keppra>Levodopa when it comes to functional HPPD meds. To anyone reading this since the levodopa is in the open on the web, all of these meds have their potential hazards, all different, Make sure to consult your doc before doing anything hasty. When it comes to smartness it kicked in when i started the ketogenic diet and was on it for a while. I just understand how things work at the first glance.

1998>> The rage is really overrated, it is actually VERY unusual to get this as a side effect. Many people attribute their depression etc. to rage from keppra that they get when becoming more intact and try to find themselves after suffering for so long. Rage is rare, really rare almost that it isn't distinguished from the placebo groups.

There seem to be a lot of people waiting for this. I have been contacted on other forums by people, desperate to get in, that wants me to fix this. I do not have that in my power as i know. We want to build this community strong again and this is something that should be easy. I know there are some people who been accepted that posted a lot of BS on the board, do not know if David need to validate people cuz of that.

Ok, so the cut in dose was a disaster. Most of my symptom came back and i got extremely depressed that i "noticed" that my symptoms where the same as before. Keppra is indeed so far just masking my symptoms. It truly is a blessing to me that i have a drug that has virtually no side fx and make me oblivious to HPPD and still so functional. I will, if there are no contra interactions, try sinemet to see what happens. I truly believe that henry and kozin are on to something with the dopamine theory. Anyway, when i settled in school i will try to start taper clonazepam really slow. Just a side note why i am still looking into trying to adjust my meds is that keppra comes with on pro and one con; It really makes me smarter. It feels like i can do anything and i understand things that used to be very abstract to me. In that i believe my cognitive functions has improved. At the same time my emotions are kinda flat lined. I would like to feel a little ore then i used to but as my neuro so delicate expressed it: "Keppra is like putting the lid on" and thats sums it up.

You sum it up very well Brendan in your posts, you got it alright.

1998> thats my understanding as well and that those 15% are people who take high amounts of benzo over decades.

HBB> intersting, all my visuals symptoms went away with keppra. The cognitive issues as well. I feal smarter then before hppd. But i do not get the emotional drive that i used to have. Thats why i wanna try levodopa.

Well yeah but it was à huge step and the gothenburg uni. has a good rep

HBB>> can you tell something about the rage, when it came and how you beat it. What dose worked for you if you care to tell.

I used to play COD but it gets me dizzy for days even with my meds. So i stoped it and doing a lot more productive things now.

Great post, to really open up like you do is very brave. We all get thoughts that is embarassing or painful, great that you break the silence.

Writing on the iphone, it will be interesting to see if i get any visuals back and if the cognitive issues will come back as well. Get back to you as soon as i know more about this.