WuWei

I can see both sides of the argument but I would think a little sensitivity is in order when dealing with this stuff... I'd do just about anything to live a normal life again.

Your HPPD ended after 12 years? That's amazing! Congrats man. I've been dealing with it for like 12 years or so now. Maybe there is hope.

I believe HPPD is genetic. My dad claims to have mild HPPD. My uncle had it for over 10 years and it subsided.

Yeah maybe the B supplement you're using is stronger than mine... never had any issues with anxiety with it. I started taking it because I smoke and drink and I also heard it gives you energy. I needed a non-stimulant after lunch at work to help with brain fog. Seems to help quite a bit. Are you taking it with food?

Little late on the draw here... buuut having just having just been smoking for the last month and a half or so I can relay my experiences. What I think you're describing is what most people call "brain fog". I don't think it has to do with the marijuana. I get it sometimes. Klonopin helps it, which leads me to believe it's from seizureish activity in the brain or deep seated anxiety (although I don't normally feel anxious when I get it). Eating a large meal seems to trigger it for me. And stress... First of all weed has never really been my thing and I never really liked it unless I was drinking. To me it's a once in a while thing I baby step into and use as a "drink enhancer". It's nice to have a couple of craft beers and use it in moderation. I have come to the conclusion that marijuana has no effects on HPPD at all (at least mine). It can, however, effect anxiety... which as we know has huge effects on HPPD. There are cognitive issues related to MJ use... which of course you're aware of... so I think those could be anxiety provoking if you're sensitive to them. Also I noticed a "spacey" high feeling accompanied me throughout my marijuana foray, especially in the mornings. Not unpleasant though . It was fun while it lasted. Farewell, MJ... see you next summer maybe.

Just make sure to baby step into and do it in the morning when you wake up, increasing the exposure time gradually. It will keep you awake at night if you do it too late in the day. It will do a number on your vision if you have "ghosting" symptoms, but they will fade in a half hour or so... Lol. I saw one on amazon for $27 or so that had pretty good reviews. Might pick that one up. I have a lightbox but my dog broke it. I need to see if I just need a new bulb or the fixture is trashed. Sucks... probably a $200 light. Insurance covered part of it... so that's a route you might want to check out too.

I dunno man... I'm trialing so much crap all the time I guess I forget. It's on my list to try though. I just had a few more left in a bottle and was looking for a little help for *ahem* detox due to the fact I might be looking for another job. It was a fun... er... interesting summer though

Anyone tried acai berry? I tend to feel pretty good after taking 2 of those, although I rarely do. Clears my head up a bit.

Kellen I believe that anxiety was more responsible for your symptoms than anything else. How long have you had HPPD? B vitamins should be fine. Just keep it to a reasonable amount. The NAC gave me some unwanted side effects (as I stated above). Go easy on the supplements until you have your anxiety under control. Just my $0.02.

Klonopin (clonazepam) is really the only slam dunk for HPPD. Go get some if you're feeling that bad. I know you feel hopeless, but these symptoms wax and wane. Keep the faith brother!

It's called seasonal affective disorder. I have it too. It has to do with light entering the retina and triggering the brain to be happy. The SAD lamps help. I need to pick one up for this winter actually. Winters here can last 4 months. They are becoming unbearable for me. Each one seems worse than the last

Honestly I was on it pre-HPPD and I'm totally wired for it now. If I go off of it my perceptual glitchyness gets really bad. By that I mean I see things incorrectly (almost like when you think you're seeing a mouse run across the street and then you realize it's a leaf- something like that, but all the time). I'm also wrecked emotionally and suicidal. I think my visuals are worse with it, and if I take my dose consistently (10mg) for a couple of weeks it's almost like I get overloaded with it (my blood levels get too high) and my afterimages get really bad and I get bad brain fog. I have to taper it back to 5mg one day, 10 the next until I start feeling better. It's a constant balancing act. I was forced on the generic for a couple of months and I seemed to be ok for a while... little did I know I was getting slowly worse. By the time I figured out what it was and got back on the name brand I was completely fucked. Having all kinds of symptoms I've never had before- some related to HPPD, some not. I'm surprised I held my job down. Now I'm stuck paying $160 every 2 months for the shit and I'm not even as good as before the generic fiasco. What can you do though? I think the short answer is if you find one that works it helps with depression, but not with HPPD symptoms. Hope some or any of that helps. I think if you have depression an SSRI can be OK with HPPD but you have to watch the dosage and side effects.

Wellbutrin is a pretty benign antidepressant. I would give it a good shot. If that's all you take prescription med wise I think you're doing pretty good. I take Lexapro and Klonopin (prn) myself, and I consider myself completely reliant on both of them at this point.

I work full time at a job I hate but it pays OK for me not being able to finish college. I live by myself with my dog. I work 5 days a week, hang out and drink with my only friend I still hang out with regularly when I have a day off. I play disc golf when the weather is nice. It's a good thing for me. I watch movies on and off, sometimes read. I've done martial arts here and there my whole life so when the opportunity presents itself and I can afford it I train in various ones. That's about it really... I'd like to find a girlfriend and settle down. The internet dating scene is rough... and I don't really meet anyone at work often (I've been dating girls I've met at work for years now and I need to stop before my luck runs out). I need to expand my social circle a bit I think. I think I'm fairly "normal" socially, although I don't really know what that means anymore. I think things can be rougher if you're younger than say, post 30. I'd rather have a few close friends than socialize with people I don't care for in the little free time I have.

I know that vertigo feeling you're talking about. It sucks. Came with the DP/DR Thankfully mine went away (for the time being at least).

How about valerian root capsules for sleep? Anyone tried them?

Yeah I didn't feel bad on the NAC... I just noticed I was a little less focused than usual and I felt kind of "baked". Honestly it reminded me of the state of mind you're in after you come down from smoking a good amount of MJ. It does also kind of give you a "speedy" effect. I understand what you mean. You should take the 600mg for a week or so and get a feel for it. I gave one to my friend who doesn't have any perceptual issues and he really didn't notice it. Everyone is different. I'm extremely sensitive to everything now thanks to HPPD. I think when you're doing supplements you should do one at a time so you can differentiate the positive/negative effects and possible side effects of each one before you add them to your daily cocktail. Not to mention they may interact with each other negatively, so you have to be careful.

No no rashes or spots or anything... just felt spaced out more than usual. I'm trying to work full time at a high stress job and I can't afford to have anything making me worse. I might give it a go again when I have a stretch of time off and at a lower dose, although I'd have to open up those gelcaps and that shit smells like rotten eggs... lol.

No... theanine is an amino acid produced by the plant. It produces more when it's shaded, as in the case of some Japanese teas like matcha and gyokuro. It's pretty much processed out of it when you make black tea or roasted tea. And the gold thing was just a metaphor... as you know.

I was in a 5 year relationship with a girl with her own issues. It ended and she moved out of state. Honestly my HPPD hasn't really effected my relationships too much. Girls I've been with were either supportive or didn't really seem to understand it and sort of left me to deal with it on my own. I dated a girl for about 6 months recently and broke it off. None of it had to do with the HPPD. I have to admit... I'm looking for someone. I think it's the age that I'm at that "nesting syndrome" or whatever is kicking in. I feel pretty lonely sometimes. I do better in the more stable environment of a relationship than not in one, for the most part. Sorry for your troubles, Kellen. Heartbreak is a horrible thing to deal with. Especially when you're dealing with so much on a daily basis already. Try and keep your head up man. This too shall pass.

Thanks...Yes IU's is what I meant... lol. As far as the tea thing I like the health benefits and the "buzz" of the matcha more than with black tea, which contains no theanine. Another good one to try is Puerh tea as far as effect. It's warming and puts you in a relaxed, drifty state of mind. Also it lowers cholesterol and emulsifies fats. Very good for a hangover as well. It's aged for many years and all of the caffeine degrades over time. I currently have some from the '70s and '80s I'm saving for the right time. I need to pick up some more theanine... even if used intermittently it's good to have around to ensure a good night's sleep. It would be interesting to trial it for a couple of weeks and see if there is any benefit dopamine wise. I'd eat pure gold if it improved my quality of life substantially.

Theanine is good for you! It promotes alpha patterns in the brain and increases dopamine. It also could be a good alternative to benzo's if you wanted to go the holistic route for treating anxiety. I used it primarily for sleep. For me it didn't induce sleep, but made my sleep a LOT deeper and more restful. As previously stated works great for the caffeine jitters also... The Japanese put it in a lot of "relaxation" drinks over there. It's completely benign and I've read nothing about any adverse reactions. It's expensive in it's pure form. I recommend Suntheanine.

Agreed... and everyone says "It's a one time thing" their first time. Cocaine is part of the problems I'm going to have to deal with the rest of my life.

Feeling pretty damn good cognitively today... hopefully it's because of discontinuing the NAC. Looking forward to baby stepping into some magnesium. There's a psych facility closeby where I live that is run by scientologists (they're completely against any use of psychoactive pharmaceuticals) that specializes in detox. They use huge amounts of magnesium and calcium during detox along with sauna therapy. Might have a little weight to it, crazy culty stuff aside. It at least reduces the chances of a seizure during detox. I almost feel like HPPD is like low level seizure activity in the brain, which is why benzos help with the symptoms (aside from the anxiety reduction). I have no hard data to support this, of course. Just how it feels to me... I've found the definite keepers for me are a B complex, a good multi like a men's one a day, and vitamin D (I take 1000mg daily throughout the darker months, and 5000mg once a month or so during the summer to regulate mood). Also green tea (particularly good quality matcha that has a good hit of theanine in it) helps with fatigue and brain fog. Strangely I've found alcohol to help cognitively the day after... especially in larger, binge drinking doses (from a half pint to 3/4 of a pint of good quality, clean vodka). I think I may be alone on that one here on the forum, but honestly that has the biggest impact on me. Obviously it's extremely unhealthy and habit forming so I have to regulate it. Not recommending it... just throwing it out there, as it has been my honest experience. While on the subject I've also found that eating lighter at work in small portions- just enough to ward off hunger- is crucial to my performance mentally at work. When I overeat I feel foggy and sluggish. Sleep regulation is also important. Good quality sleep for 7-8 hours is ideal. Too much and I feel like I don't really "wake up" mentally until later in the evening. Too little and I feel a little anxious, and usually take a little klonopin to combat this (like a .25mg dose) which helps but leaves me tired. A good day is when I don't have to take that dose until I get home from work and then a 3mg melatonin to sleep. Just my observations... YMMV. Everyone is different and has different factors with their HPPD DP/DR management.

So I think the NAC is a no-go for me. I eased my way into it... but in the end I felt kind of baked out and silly on it. I was more relaxed (almost like the tail end of an MJ high) and I noticed my visuals improved a bit, but cognitively I was worse. Instead of getting used to it over time it seems like the effects were compounded the more days in a row I took it. So it goes... Next on trial is the magnesium. I don't foresee any issues with that.