WuWei

Thanks guys- picked up some NAC for a 30 day trial run. I'm going to have to find a cheaper source if I am going to continue with it. L-Theanine was too expensive for me. I'll look into the magnesium.

Giving your frontal lobe a break is beneficial for almost everything... I would imagine it would help with HPPD.

Thanks, Sam. I'll definitely try the NAC. Anyone else?

Anyone had any luck with anything? I take a B complex every day and it seems to help with brain fog and give me more energy. I also take Vitamin D year round except for summer and the odd multivitamin and fish oil tablet. I've also tried L-Theanine and it helps deepen sleep (also good for the caffeine jitters). Pretty expensive though. I'm thinking of trying NAC? Mainly just looking for some help in the cognitive department, although this constant "glitchy" stuff is unnerving and can go away any time it wants

Ohhh... I like this one. <<<The Following Post Contains Gratuitous Use of the 'F' word>>> Fuck this life. Fuck these visuals. Fuck feeling like a dumb ass because I'm a half step behind everything cognitively but knowing stupid, selfish people can have things in life that I can't. Fuck feeling better for a while only to realize everything falls apart again. Fuck the fact that I have to drink in order to feel better, even though I would give it all up to have a family and some peace of mind. Fuck guilt. Fuck shame. Fuck having to be a little trooper just so everyone that cares about me can sleep better at night. I never asked to be here, to come into this world screaming and to leave it confused and scared. Fuck my dad for leaving me. Fuck my soul-sucking, horrible job that I'm afraid to leave babysitting emotional infants that don't know what real problems are. And fuck reality TV. How's that?

Decided not to do the med. I found out: 1) It's a tricyclic antidepressant. 2) It can cause priapism in men (a boner that won't go away). A coworker had an instance where this happened to him after the third night of being on it and his urethra popped. Pass on that shit.

Surprised no one has taken this one... seems to be the go-to sleep med for psychiatrists these days. ??

Anyone on this one or taken it in the past? I don't want to take anything that's going to make my life any harder . Thanks!

You gotta hang in there, man. I feel REALLY bad some days, but I go through some periods where I don't think about it (fewer and farther between lately it seems). I have found acceptance is huge. Life is really hard for a lot of people. Smile and carry on. Do the best you can and don't beat yourself up. Today has been a rough one for me. Feeling pretty sick right now actually, LOL.

I take on average between 0.25 and 1 mg of Klonopin daily depending on how things are going. I only take it when I need it and a 0.25 to help me sleep at night. I have purposefully not increased my dose over the years as it's something I'm going to have to be on the rest of my life, most likely. I have enough problems without piling benzo addiction on top of it.

I've been on Lexapro for 10+ years and they recently changed me to a generic formulation that just came out. Within 3 months on it I was super fucked up and I haven't been right since (got put on remediation at work due to job performance, couldn't sleep and was having panic attacks... I thought I was getting worse DP/DR- turns out it was the meds). I'm now back on the non-generic and I'm paying $140 a month instead of $30 which I was paying before because my insurance company won't cover it anymore. I guess it's better than nothing though. Thanks Obama! I think HPPD people might be more prone to problems with generics, although from what I've read online I think a lot of folks are having problems with the generic Lexapro.

Hey Potato- I can relate to the anxiety and depression at your age. It's been with me my whole life, although I didn't get HPPD until my early 20's. I think you are making the right steps towards giving yourself a chance to possibly heal up, and if not then to minimize your symptoms. Never give up on your brain... some people get better over time. The main thing is to not do anything to make yourself worse. I know it's hard right now but you should try and get a hobby- preferably one that you can get outside and get some fresh air and sunshine with. And don't worry about masturbating... you're 15... it's normal.

I was on Prozac when I was younger. I want to say it takes 3 months to reach good therapeutic levels. I remember it not helping my anxiety and making me kind of on edge. I think if anxiety is a factor they usually go to a newer SSRI as a first drug to try. I'm on Lexapro right now. It doesn't help with the HPPD or DP/DR but I need it for my depression. Also after 10 years of being on it I'm totally dependent on it and if I take too little or too much it can be real hell.

Yeah, it's not easy... I'm not pounding 1/5ths or anything but it was getting up to a few pints a week. Gotta keep it on the weekends now.

I think about this often... if I'm like this now how's it going to be in 30 years, worrying if at best I'll be some kind of bumbling idiot like Ozzy that needs someone to make sure he doesn't hurt himself... I can totally relate to the dementia-like stuff. Trying to take a drink out of things without liquid... putting things in the wrong place, etc. Even as far as my brain misinterpreting what's there for a split second (that's the really scary shit). I can honestly say I have a sort of understanding of what it must be like for people that suffer with that. I've been having a lot of these types of issues recently. I think you're right, Jay. Keeping it low stress and trying to enjoy life is the key. Also not doing things that will further the damage... I've had to take a hard look at my alcohol intake lately (I'm turning 33 next month) and I'm realizing how much of a crutch it's been for me the last 5 or so years. And how shitty I feel when I don't have that release valve (plus for some reason the alcohol seems to help my HPPD the next day... but that's another topic).

Anyone get that feeling that things are "wrong"? Fear sets in... don't really know how to explain it. I think it's a facet of depersonalization....?

Thanks for the support... I appreciate it more than you know.

Just thought I'd drop a line here with you guys. I recently went through hell with a (non-voluntary) switch to a generic form of Lexapro. By the time I realized the generic was the culprit I was really screwed. I'm back on the "name brand" now and feeling less crazy, but I'm still in really bad shape mentally. I can't handle things without having extreme anxiety and depression. Today was particularly bad... I had my yearly evaluation at work and was placed on remediation for my job performance. Now I have to have that lingering over my head for the next 3 months. The scary thing is I've been at the job for 10 years now and I don't think I'll be able to start something new if it comes to that. My memory and cognitive process is really fucked up. I'm feeling really scared and my symptoms are really intense right now. I feel all alone in a hostile universe. I feel like I'm falling into a dark place where no one will be able to help me... Sorry to be such a downer, but I feel like I need to get that off of my chest. I have an appointment with my psychologist in a couple of days, but I'm in a really bad place right now. Any advice, commiseration or encouragement would be greatly appreciated . Thanks...

I've been taking Klonopin (mostly) daily for over 10 years. My dosage has not gone up (I take on average between .25 and .75 mg daily as needed) and I'm not addicted to it. My script is for .5mg every 8 hours as needed, but I rarely if ever take that much. Klonopin is the least addictive of all benzos and is the first line treatment for HPPD. I may be in the minority, and I really don't have a pull towards benzo's addiction wise, so YMMV. A lot of days I only take it once... a .25mg dose to help me sleep... I only take it during the day for DP/DR symptoms or moderate to severe anxiety and I take care not to develop a tolerance to it. Just wanted to throw it out there.

Hey, I can appreciate all of that, SinisterB. I definitely agree with you on a lot of those points. I know what you mean about the panic attacks too. Lately I've been getting into the idea of "surrendering" to the flow of life... God.... Amida Buddha.... whatever you want to call it.... and trusting in that benevolent force to guide me and care for me. It has lead me to a relatively quiet (in an unforced way) and peaceful mind, even in the midst of DP/DR (which has decreased since "learning" this).

Great news for you! Now time to get on with life sans drugs with this amazing gift!

If your symptoms are mild like you said, I would think you would have a chance of a full recovery. I wouldn't do anything that would screw that up. It's not worth it. I have smoked weed post HPPD and enjoyed it about as much pre-HPPD. I didn't.

I have a difficult time processing what people are saying, especially if there is multiple stimuli going on at once. I ask people to repeat themselves a lot. If I know they are getting aggravated I tell them sorry I have hearing issues sometimes. That's usually the end of it.

Strenuous working out can make visuals worse.,, sunlight and fresh air is good for DP/DR though . I make myself get out and play disc golf or take the dog to the park on my days off.

My visuals have stayed the same. DP/DR is a relatively new occurance. I'm learning how to manage it though. If you only have visual snow I wouldn't worry about it turning into anything else. Everyone has to deal with something in their lives... has their "cross to bear". I think HPPD has made me a better person. Would I do anything to get rid of it? Hell yeah I would.