WuWei

It's probably benedryl. Be careful I've seen people really lose their shit permanently from intentionally ODing on benedryl at work (psych ward). Tylenol PM is a common one to OD on and it's one of the worst choices. It usually doesn't kill you and the benedryl fries your brain while the tylenol destroys your liver.

Mine has been pretty rough the whole way through. I had a good childhood but had some anger issues. Pre-teen and teen years were filled with anxiety and depression (the depression continues- the anxiety is mostly related to my HPPD/DR). In my early adulthood I got into hard drugs and got HPPD. Been up and down from there. I think of getting HPPD as part of a continuum of my mental health struggles. It's a hard road.

My family, close friends, psychiatrist and therapist know. I've told a couple of other random people and no one seems to be too shocked by it and no one has brought it up again in conversation. Apparently it's not as big a deal to them as it is to me. Hahaha. I do think you have to be careful who you tell as it could be grist for the rumor mill if someone has an agenda with you for whatever reason. Especially be careful in job related areas. I wouldn't tell anyone there. People that have experimented with drugs would probably be more understanding- but some people might view you as some sort of burn out out of ignorance. Also, I don't think you're a victim of the drug scene or a cautionary tale. I would get that out of my head. You're not institutionalized and you're able to contribute to society and people's lives without being too much of a burden. Those are what they call redeeming qualities. Everyone has stuff they deal with... this is our thing. Or one of our things... lol.

I deal with brain fog too... I think stress really sets it off. Anxiety too... Maintaining a low stress environment as much as possible is key. You might try meditation as well. Some supplements seem to help a little bit... in particular a vitamin B complex. Also you want to make sure you are getting a good night's sleep. Not too much though... which can have the opposite effect. I started Wellbutrin a month or so ago- I'm still on a low dose as I couldn't tolerate an increase. Doesn't do much for the depression that I can tell but it is helping my brain fog a bit I think. It's used for ADHD in adults sometimes. Hope some of this helps

My dad and uncle did a sheet of acid between them every weekend when they were young... my uncle developed very mild HPPD that went away after about 10 years. Dad never developed anything (and he did the most by far) They used every drug available at the time and never developed anything close to the severity I did (I believe HPPD is genetic). I was unlucky enough to be born and come of age during the "rave" scene where all kinds of pills were floating around- all different and cut with god knows what. I think we're going to be seeing a big increase in HPPD with this new "molly" trend, unfortunately. Bad for the kids doing it... but good for us in terms of research and physician awareness.

Yeah everyone reacts to hallucinogens differently. I never cared much for LSD... only actually tripped once off of it. Mushrooms were always pretty gentle with me. Did those a handful of times. In my opinion I never really found anything very profound about psychedelic experiences. I think the best thing to do is stay away from them (but I'm biased of course), but if you do decide to try them make sure you do so in a safe environment with someone who is experienced with them (preferably with them sober) and make sure you get them from a good source. The MDMA caveat is because I've seen the brain damage it causes personally and also it caused my HPPD.

Take acid if you want... you're your own person. Yes, there is this super rare condition called HPPD... you take your chances. I find this thread a little sanctimonious... it's like going to a lung cancer forum and thanking everyone for showing you the way to not smoking. Not all of us live in a constant hellscape of psychological torment. We're just regular people that deal with this stuff. Evey man/woman has his/her cross to bear in life. Anyway, I'm sure you meant nothing of the sort. Honestly if I could go back I wouldn't do any drugs even if I knew I wouldn't get HPPD, but that's only because of personal reasons. Exploring the mind with psychedelics is a personal decision... be safe if you decide to do so. And stay away from MDMA... it's just bad news. Good luck.

Also I would get off the heavy anti-psychotics... They are extremely bad for you and should only be used if the benefits outweigh the risks (ie you get psychotic if you don't take them) Just my $0.02.

Drinking doesn't really effect my HPPD... a really bad hangover does but I don't hit it that hard anymore. Drinking of course is a bad coping skill in dealing with HPPD (or anything in life for that matter). It's easy to fall into the trap of using it to escape for a night a week... then two nights... then three... then you're drinking pints... then five nights... etc... etc... I don't think having a couple of beers with friends will hurt you... it will probably make you feel more human... but it's a personal decision.

I think stimulants are the worst thing you could try... aside from more LSD... I think you should treat your anxiety. That's what's causing you to not be able to focus. I can relate to your story a lot... I did the same thing when I first got HPPD... went and got tested for ADHD and everything. If I were your doctor, knowing what I know about HPPD, I would give your brain time to heal and put you on some Klonopin short term to deal with the anxiety. Your HPPD is so new you don't want to start treating it with heavy psychotropics yet IMO. Good luck... your symptoms seem mild and have a good chance of clearing up on their own. I would cut out the weed for a while and take care of yourself. Hope you get this message in time to think about this stuff.. I think the odds of your regular doctor putting you on ADD meds or anti-convulsants are pretty slim without a neurology consult or some testing.

I had an awake/asleep EEG. Results were negative. Don't expect to see anything on it unless you have seizure activity (which is a good thing to find out!). You're very lucky to have a doctor who understands your condition. I haven't met one yet that has even heard of HPPD, including the neurologist I saw. Best of luck with everything!

It's prescription only: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buspirone Looks like they're doing some research in combining it with melatonin for depression and to promote neurogenesis (ie to grow new neurons in the brain). Might have to dust off the old bottle of melatonin. I'm up to two doses a day and I feel pretty good tonight.

Thanks Jay- Yeah I'm getting used to the med now. Actually had a pretty profound effect on me at first. I can feel the first dose in the morning for sure. Feels benzo-ish for a couple hours. Not sure if it's going to be helpful long term though.

Well I finally got in to see a psychiatrist to attempt to get off this rollercoaster with Lexapro. I want to try wellbutrin but the doc wanted to address my "anxiety" first (at least that's what I think he was talking about- he was sort of cryptic). Not sure why as I'm on klonopin.... Anyway he prescribed Buspar. Wasn't really familiar with it but did some research and it seems pretty benign. Been on it for three days and it's not unpleasant. Feels like a wanna-be benzo effect for a couple hours. Starting on 2 doses a day today. Anyone ever been on it? I figure it might be good to have in my system while I try and start the wellbutrin. I hear it tends to be pretty "stimulating" at first. Thanks.

The headache thing is part of the normal induction phase with Lexapro. You should give it another week. As far as making your visual symptoms worse... it may make them worse while being on the med. You have to balance out the benefits with the increased symptoms. You should be noticing a difference in your mood after 2 weeks with Lexapro, and a major difference within a month. I maintained on Lexapro for 15 years or so... I then developed some problems with it. I still take a low dose. PM me if you have any questions as I'm not on a whole lot.

I take Theanine for sleep only. It makes me feel too weird if I take it during the day. Works great for sleep though. I occasionally have to give my self a break from it or my body gets used to it and it's not as effective. In those cases I take a little more klonopin and drink some chamomile tea before bed.

Please be very careful taking this high of a dose of ascorbic acid. It can and will cause kidney stones. Make sure to drink tons of water and give yourself breaks inbetween. The human body can only process so much Vitamin C. Up to 1000 mg a day should be ok as long as you double your water intake.

In my experience it comes and goes in waves... I feel better for a while, worse for a while. It will get better man! Hang in there... PM me if you want and we can set up a time to talk in the chat room.

I drink tea every day. I drink mostly high mountain green oolongs in the summer, Japanese green tea in the fall, and puerh and some roasted oolongs and green tea in the winter . Tea is good for you. The theanine in greener teas helps moderate the caffeine jitters and is good for your brain. I've doing some sleepy time at night since it's been getting colder and it helps me sleep- along with a theanine capsule and a little klonopin (0.25 mg) taken about a half hour before bed. It's the best cocktail for sleep I've found.

The only effect Novocaine has ever had on me was to numb my mouth

Hey Steven- no you won't be effected. The only things I worry about with my HPPD as far as everyday treatment stuff goes is going under general anesthesia- but most people that have had that here don't report any ill effects. Some report problems with taking antibiotics but I'm not sure if they effect me in that way. In any case any of these will not permanently effect your HPPD symptoms so don't worry about it. Just my two cents. Stay well brother.

Lamictal would be my first choice over Keppra. Looks a little more promising. The "staring blankly into space" sounds like absence seizures to me: http://www.epilepsy.com/learn/types-seizures/absence-seizures. Keep us posted!

Interesting. I've never read about "Kundalini Syndrome" before. I don't know, anything's possible. I don't know of anyone who's had any transcendent experiences or spiritual growth (which is the end result of the Kundalini process as I understand it) linked directly with HPPD (ie the HPPD caused it) so I doubt the two have much to do with each other. Now if you want to talk about HPPD in the framework of Grace or "a power greater than yourself" that's a whole other ball of wax.

Getting outside really helps. I play disc golf. I do martial arts on and off. I like to get into spiritual pursuits... they give me some peace.

Kundalini experiences produce blissful states... the opposite of what I've felt from HPPD I've never had Kundalini I don't think but I have had some "no self" experiences while living at the meditation center and I assure you they don't have anything to do with HPPD or the body in general. They are extremely blissful and peaceful beyond words. Yet... they faded to a nice memory and here I am