Monkey_magic

Man, I get exhausted to the max at times. Like if I don't lie down il fall down. Then when I finally have a kip ( usually 2-4 hours) at whatever time, usually between 3 n 6 pm, I wake up feeling shit like all the hppd shit in my subconscious has just been displayed slowly to me like on a conveyer belt. It sucks.

Cool guys cheers. I just have to have willpower. I basically have none, but I don't want to get bad withdrawals on top of this hppd. As I think I'm maybe over the peak of my flare up (or approaching it it's hard to tell this time lol), il deffo cut them right down or right out.

Doxylamine succinate - over the counter sleep aids. Any good. and what'll it do to my hppd/ circadian rhythm (which is fucked anyway). Melatonin sucks a bit of eggs for me. On another note, I was out last sun with a mate, got drunk,and had taken like, 5 ,mg of clono through the day, went back to this chicks house. She said I was welcome to whatever was in her medicine cabinet lol. (my mate was into her not me). So I found 40 50 mg tramadol (took 6), about 8 7.5 mg zoplicone (took 2), and ten 2mg Valium tabs. I was pretty fucked. Can't remember going home. Back staying with my parents, I took all my clothes off and put something on in the oven and I preceded to fall asleep and nearly burn the house down. Needless to say I won't be staying at my parents much longer. The morale of the story is though.....how good is zoplicone lol. I had the best nights sleep in years!! And I still had six left bulging out my pockets. Gave a couple away though. Along with the tramadol etc. but obviously I don't want to go down that route but it was good to get a 10 hour dreamless sleep instead of the 5 or 6 hour anxiety laden dreams n waking 2 or 3 times I have mostly.

How addictive is klono in comparison to Valium. I've had benders of Valium where I've maybe bought like 100 and took them all within two or three weeks like smarties and ran out and not bothered cos i just wanted a break. Then felt shit, but in a kinda dizzy, not right in a non hppd way. I'm assuming that's wd's. Feel a bit irritable today/night as well. Work should be fun tomorrow lol.

That's it then. Fuckin NHS cutbacks lol. Even the Prozac I'm on the now is the generic shit. I don't see how an am dose of 250 mg and a pm dose of 250 mg Keppra will break the bank though. Ive a feeling id react quite well to it which is frustrating. (could be wrong). I'd pay for it if need be but theyve abolished the prescription payments over here at the mo. :/ guess I'll find out on wed.

Yip, E's can deffo give you hppd. I took acid about twenty times, and Es probably a fair bit more and I'm not sure which one fucked me up the most. Probably the Es. So sit down, read a lot, exercise a lot, and tell your pals to fuck off. They won't understand if they still do all that. How can you till it happens to you?

Yeah, I think to us an hour session would feel like a minute and to normal folks it would feel like days, floating about with their consciousness all hanging out like a burst settee having being used to their built in safety limits.

I'm having the same problem, even with printing off testimonies and a brief outline of the fabled keppra study. Theyre not really interested. You think it's a cost thing? Iis keppra a expensive drug on the nhs or are they looking at it from the side effect viewpoint ya think? 'm seeing my phsych on wed so if she palms me off the keppra route feck knows what il do. I've been on clono for three month (probs taking more than I should, like 2-3mg per day, maybe more), and decided to cut back as of today and only had 1mg. Felt a bit shit to be fair.

Hmm, looks good -mg, and tasty. I'll give it a try tomorrow. Just booked a tattoo on my arm today so have to make sure the guns are top notch for it a month from now. Fuck the cardio, lol.

Yeah. We're away to spartak next game. Just checked. Plastic pitch probably. If they can get two goals against barca in the nou camp then they'll murder us. But you can but hope. Never thought I'd say this but we really need samaras fit again (fucked arm). We've no players that'l strike fear or stand out. Wee winger called James forest who's rapid and direct on his game but he's havin a dip in form just now. That'll be a great wee trip man, if you have a leaning towards man u. But it would be good to see barca too just to say I've seen Messi play in the flesh (not to mention iniesta n xavi). Not got a ticket yet though, they'll be like gold dust.

Yeah, I sometimes think that. The drugs just sped up our allready genetically weakened resistance to potential hppd like symptoms. Fuckin drugs...just say no. Lol.

Haha less of that. That's typecasting us. Lol I had a complaint put against me at work, cos I always eat mackerel in the staff room and she thinks it's 'inconsiderate!!!' cos of the smell?? . She's a snooty cow like. It's straight outa tin, not like it's bloody fresh and cooked. Just straight on a plate with microwaved rice. A aargh, she does my nut in.

See Celtic held out for an exciting 0-0 draw! Crap, I'm sure it's barca next. Messi will run riot. Benfica aren't a bad team mind you, they done well against man u last year but they've lost a couple of players. I'll be happy with a Europa League consolation 3rd place.

I'm trying to eat better but I eat some amount of shit at times. Binge eat too when I'm down. I need more willpower, or actual any willpower would be good. Loadsa chicken, eggs and tuna though. And I've developed a taste for mackerel. Too much bread, pasta and pizza is my downfall. I'm 14st just now and I'm trying like a beast to get down to 13st (went out a 6 mile run today, gym session and a game of 7s tomorrow) but it's not budging much. Thyroids in control I think.

Yip, ten years ago I could run past folk, had that extra yard of pace, and scored at will. Now I just sit in the middle and try to provide.zip the ball about. I'm right footed but not bad with my left. It's tough, without the hppd I'd be 4 times the player I am. Specially awareness wise. I tend to annoy folk by slowing the game down checking for options lol. I'm a Celtic man of course. Has to be one or the other. Or at least 80-90% will go down the old firm route. I'm ambivalent to it now though. Scottish footballs finished in all but name. But il try get to see barca when they come to town. And the spartan game at park head will be interesting because of the old fans favourite aiden mgeady will be back. My England teams spurs! Dunno why, just got attached with the glen hoddle, Ossis ardilles era. Plus they've got the smartest strip about lol. Is port vale not Robbin Williams team too? Lol.

Aye, just stick to the mass building exercises like bench press, shoulder press and squats and dead lifts and your growth hormone will be forced to work if you've never hit it that hard before. Just gotta look out for overtraining and your cns taking a dip. I always overtrain. It's the hppd of course.

Aye, get the short sleeved polo shirts on lol. Soon ma guns will be under 5 fuckin layers lol. I work in a fitness centre so it's par for the course I can work out for free. In general, two games of 7 a side (couldn't handle 11s I think). A couple of 3-5 mile runs, weights three times a week, and I like tennis on occasion. You a decent footy player? What's your proffered position? Yeah, I've got a few things here if I can't be atsed going to work. 16kg kettlebell, skipping ropes, gym ball. Just settling doon thenoo though to watch Madrid city. Should be good.

Plus creatine is natural in steak and red meat. Good excuse to munch steak a couple times a week. I just take 1 creatine capsule a couple times a week. Don't feel any side effects, maybe a placebo though but I always feel like I can give that extra ten %. had a couple of tramadol too before my workout today though n that geed me up, lol.

You hitting the gym hard? What kinda workout you doing? Exercise and weights is what keeps me going. I ran 5 miles today and had over an hour doing a full body weights circuits in the gym...felt great for it. Allthough I'm currently 14 stone and want to get to 13 to help my manoeuvrability for playing 7 a side footy. I think hppd fucks my thyroid up though so I find it hard to get to a certain weight. :/

I just ordered choline and dmae (or whatever its called) on amazon. I kinda get the reasoning behind them for the 'able minded' people out there lol. Are these things worthwhile for brain sharpening for us hppdrs or have I just wasted my money?

I just ordered choline and dmae (or whatever its called) on amazon. I kinda get the reasoning behind them for the 'able minded' people out there lol. Are these things worthwhile for brain sharpening for us hppdrs or have I just wasted my money?

Looks amazing. Yeah, world class waves or no Thurso will be like 5 degrees lol. A guy i used to work with regularly went up to these places surfing. Your right to sticking to the 20 + degree heat for surfing.

Sounds good. Bet it costs a few bucks though. Doubt they'll be many sensory depravation tanks in central Scotland. I'd try that one though.

Ive been going a,bit daft on them n takin like 3 or 4 mg a day (meant to be 2mg max!) , then waiting it out for two weeks with none at all for my next script. :/ I get carried away lol. What's everyone's takes on tramadol, I take them occasionally, like 200-300 mg a day and it makes me feel pretty decent. Until I get keppra prescribed I'm just playing about with everything.

Fair enough ghormeh. But if I died tomorrow (not planning to lol). Some of the drinking sessions I have had while having HPPD will be the best memories il have had. Sunny days having a few and a laugh with mates. Only when my baseline has stabilised of course. When there's been a flare up and a plummet it doesn't matter what you do, drink, drugs, anything, friendship, family. . Nothing eases your internal pain. And that's what it is, phsychological agony. I've always thought of my hppd being pretty high on the 'richter scale' of hppd if you could call it something like that. Allthough, there's worse off than me. Anything 7-10 is some hefty tectonic plates moving about, or say a volcano as an analogy. When its active it's all woe is me and fire n brimstone but when it dies down, and is somewhat more dormant then it's get on with trying to live a 'normal' life based on your own shitty baseline, and if that's having a few drinks and dealing With the after effects then so be it. I live a healthy lifestyle otherwise. If your own personal volcano (a piss poor analogy, I apologise) rages night n day with no respite then nobody would be more sorry for that individual than me cos ive been there as we all have. if you've looked into your own soul and seen the worst it has to offer can a couple of cold pints really be that bad?