Monkey_magic

I've had that and it's by far the worst thing about hppd (out a fair list). Where it feels like your personality is being sucked out your head into the cosmos. Scary shit. And then it pops back in like you've been underwater for minutes and you just need a lungfull of air. Feels like a seizure in a way but what do I know. Maybe aliens could sort it out lol. If they abducted me They'd run a mile with their phychic powers if they could see inside my head. They'd have to wear special helmets on their big domes to block it out like magneto. Aye. Having a bird helps euan. Sort it out lol. You end up being to emotionally reliant on them though and cause we tend to overanalyse ourselves and other people in a close relationship (well, I do anyway) it can be a bit of a heidfuck. I've had three long term relationships that's lasted a year or over ( and a few mini ones 6 months or less) and I've loved every one of them but hppd hasn't helped matters at times. Sometimes I just take solace that it makes me unique and birds tend not to forget me for good or bad.lol.

I feel for you. Im the same. We should just have a big sticker on our foreheads saying 'fragile, handle with care'. Obviously he wont be able to understand or get his head round it, but he just needs to understanf there will be tough times and easier times. And he just needs to be there when it gets tough for you and not get frustrated he cant make it go away. I think partners of hppdrs just get frustrated they cant get in your head to help. But just being there is help in itself.

Just 40 mg of Prozac in the morning. Can't blame that for shit sleep because I used to sleep fine on it for years after first getting on it. That was years ago mind you. tried melatonin for a couple of weeks not long ago and that helped a bit, but still nowhere near the 7,8 9 hours of unbroken sleep I used to get. I just can't get a handle on it. If I could sleep I reckon my levels of hppd would drop big time. It's pretty linked. My brains in a bit of a hyper mode just now, but it can go into modes for a week or so at a time too where all I wanna do is sleep and it feels like narcolepsy a bit. Usually through the day.

On a side note i came off prozac and went on zoloft for 3 months and though i hated the feeling and side effects of zoloft more one thing that seemed to improve was the sharpness of my vision (not so blurred) and slight better depth perception which i dunno if its down to zoloft having a bit more to do with dopamine recepters than pzac?

I take a fair dose of supplements and l-dopas one of these (about four capsules a day).allthough no doubt it wont get through the blood/brain barrier bullshit. All this stuff gives me a sore head just reading about it and trying to take it in so your lucky visual in that you totally get it and seem to thrive on the info. It must be beneficia/ to your own treatment anyway. In an ideal world it seems like a low(ish) dose of keppra, a low(ish) dose of sinemet and a couple of mg of klonopin every 3 or 4 days and id be fine and dandy.lol. but then i bet something else dodgy would squeeze out into a diff part of my brain. My dodgy thing just now is sleep...4/5 hours of broken sleep a night tops! Thats why i wonder if keppra inhibits shit in the hippocampus/amygdala would that get me a better kip cause its my subconscious thats throwin up crap 24/7, and i exercise as much as someone with hppd nervous system/fatigue can possibly do so its not like im not physically exhausted at the end of the night. It sucks.

Ha. Good plan visual. Ok, next appt il wear a tank top to give her a first class ticket to the gun show!! Seriously though, is sinemet the only drug that increases dopamine? And on what side effects terms (or any terms) would she potentially not prescribe me sinemet. I'm probably low in every neuro-chemical. (how do you know your low in dopamine as opposed to say serotonin or noradrenaline or any of the rest?)

Sinemet sounds interesting too but i think my phsychs more likely to prescribe a drug like keppra related to epilepsy/migraine with a mood stabilising effect than sinemet for links with Parkinsons Disease. I really dont think she believes me about the whole hppd thing. (and thats not just paranoia). Shes obviously never came across it before. Shes interested in the whe visual thing though and i think shes linked it with migraine and GABA?! Wrong neurotransmitter Doc! Shes quite young for a phsych. Dont know if thats to my advantage or not....

Yeah, treat the root cause of the anxiety. Take zma tablets at night for a better sleep and exercise hard for an hour a day. And take either valerian root tablets or the occasional benzo for anxiety. You'll come good.

Hey guys, who has this mythical 'Keppra study file' and how do I get it. I wanna print it out to show my phsych next time i see her. Taking into account I do all this on an iPad and I'm diabolical with computers, files etc. I'm just on my second (very small) (like 28 0.5mg....pitiful) script of clonazepam and its doing a good job. Can Keppra be taken itself or is it better used in conjunction with clonazepam or something else. Cheers, kev

Because its unethical. Have you never seen the south park with christopher reeve sucking foetuses lol? Seriously though, I think it'd work wonders, to regenerate parts of the brain as good as new? Probs 10-20 years away for the likes of us though.

Good luck mate, when ye pass take a trip down to Stirling via the motorway at 100 mph!

I think you guys will just get better over the next year or two. The first initial 6 months are the worst (imo) so youve dealt with all its got to throw at you so far Without meds which is good goinsounds mostly like you guys main probs are visuals. i was in absolute bits mentally when it hit me.an absolute moonman. g. i dunno what would have happened with me if i had a inkling what was up with me. i knew i was mighty fucked up but in a way ignorance is bliss. i guess i always had a naive sense that if i can wake up with this shit then i could maybe wake up without i

I get the symmetrical dancing dots mgrade moving in their prepatterned course. They used to make up my field of vision completely too (or it seemed it against a white background), their not as all encompassing now, id say theyre a third as much as they used to be, but my vs has got worse with them getting better. Some trade. Id love to have 'just visuals' as perverse as that sounds. Lol. My problem was when i probs had mild hppd (the mental symptoms not visuals by that point) i kept caning it when i should have got help or at least stopped the weed and e. Then one day it was too late, basically my own fault.

It'd be hard to have an 'hppd road trip'. With all the meds in the car authorities would think it'd be like Fear and Loathing n Las Vegas lol.

Wait twenty years till they can inject a million microscopic nano bots into your brain box to clear everything up. You guys are lucky your so young and medical science is coming on In leaps and bounds. When I got hppd I'm surprised they never just slapped a big leach on my forehead. In reponse to your post though zero I get these wee monochrome coloured dots which consists of my field of vision (dark only). I used to see them tripping on acid so it's obviously just a shitty leftover from that. Doesn't bother me as such but it's a crappy reminder of acid I don't need.

In you guys opinion how much in percentage wise do you reckon hppd consists of neurologically fucked in comparison to psychologically fucked? ( scuse the French). As little as I know about the neurological side I'd say 70% of it is neurological and the remainder is of a psychological aspect. Or are they one and the same...I'm a bit daft lol. Help us out.

Aye euan. Chill, n work out like fuck and eat everything ye see. I've ate hunners of shit theday, two rolls n sausage, a subway, protein shake, a can of rockstar (probs not the best idea). But Ive had two workouts today, played tennis and hit the gym so it's allright. The endorphins more than make up for it. Plus I had 2mg of klonopin yest and I feel quite good for it. I think you should get some of that man, if only for piece of mind. Just take 1mg 3 times a week n you'll be a Lot more chilled oot n less OCD'd up n no chance of 'addiction'. Your not the type to get addicted anyway and it'd do you good till you find something more long term.

Im not the type to drink little and often, once a month or so il go out and drink beer lager n vodka. In pretty large qauntities. At the time i dont notice any worsening of symptoms (unless my anxiety is through the roof anyway). I tend to black out easily though and can be a right obnoxious dick in this mode which is far removed from my 'normal' self. I find it harder to judge this cut off point due to hppd. Next day anxietys worse, dr/trippy feelings waay worse but visuals dont worsen till the day after that.then the delression...lol. probs still worth it though.for the temporary relief it brings n the social aspect.

Aye, best bets to get the worst ones away (depression n anxiety for me) and the others seem a piece a piss in comparison. But its all these mini things that prop up the major things like a fucked up pyramid.

Hey man. Cool. Wish I had the cojones to do summink like that.

I think hppd is way more linked to PTSD than pma. (mines is at least).Allthough it's obvious pma plays its part too. It's like hppd is made up of 4 or 5 (or more) different neurological individual conditions in one unhandy bottle.

I had a really bad migraine at my work once. Nauseous, white as a sheet, visuals going nuts, so I lay down for an hour ( only thing I could do) and the next day my visuals, mood, everything baselined out for a good while.

Aye man that would be sound, cheers. Can a neurologist make out anything in a hppd brain with a scan? Lamictal sounds allright jay. Im willing to try anything at the mo because my heads up my arse. Last time i saw my psychiatrist she said she wanted to try me on pregabalin, but to me that sounds like trying to stop a tsunami with a spoon. I need something decent to block the shit from my subconscious at the source. Bet she trys to fob me off.

Yeah. I get what you mean. Same with me. Pre hppd, I was always quite introverted, sensitive, tendency to bottle things up, probably to a fair depersonalisation degree even years before it hit me. And in the normal world the more i felt my ego loss the more i tried to grab it back with drugs which i felt allowed me to be the extroverted dude i had in me. I'd always on the outside looked awright but I buried shit deep down where obviously the hppd rubbed its hands and went 'yass we can have a field day with this fucker'..a treasure trove of neurosis to work with. But that's for a phych to decipher cos I sure as hell can't. Maybe hypnosis would unlock some shit. Where's that Paul McKenna dude?