Is there any hope? 1 month in

[Ioannis]

Is there still hope? Please
I'm in hell for almost a month now. I took more than 5 grams of shrooms 20 days after quitting my antipsychotic med solian, which was also the biggest dose of shrooms I've ever done. I dosed at 10pm at night which was also a mistake. Also smoked weed at around 2am when I THOUGHT it was over.
Anyways, life has changed since. A lot. I now get very easily scared, I get scared by my own shadow. I became very sensitive to sounds, smells, and light, they have a meaningful but frightening vibe to them. I have multiple paranoid thoughts they are racing thoughts allll the time. I have now a lot of anxiety, fear and depression, and anger with my parents. Yesterday was the first day I had lack of emotions, even if I tried to purposely show emotion. I can't even keep my eyes closed because it's like I'm staring into a deep dark void.
It's like my life is ruined. Is there still any hope?
I've made an appointment in a vip clinic in Serbia to go do iboga, a mind cleansing drug that is supposedly many times stronger than LSD, but they say that after it's over, your state of mind goes back to it's original processing before you ever took any drug... I hope it helps and doesn't make my condition worse.
I took Niacin today for the first time ever and had a religious experience the moment it entered my brain and fixed a nerve wound. I felt it. It was good. I find hope in it.
IS THERE ANY HOPE??
God bless!!

[cosmiccharlie]

3 hours ago, Ioannis said:

Is there still hope? Please
I'm in hell for almost a month now. I took more than 5 grams of shrooms 20 days after quitting my antipsychotic med solian, which was also the biggest dose of shrooms I've ever done. I dosed at 10pm at night which was also a mistake. Also smoked weed at around 2am when I THOUGHT it was over.
Anyways, life has changed since. A lot. I now get very easily scared, I get scared by my own shadow. I became very sensitive to sounds, smells, and light, they have a meaningful but frightening vibe to them. I have multiple paranoid thoughts they are racing thoughts allll the time. I have now a lot of anxiety, fear and depression, and anger with my parents. Yesterday was the first day I had lack of emotions, even if I tried to purposely show emotion. I can't even keep my eyes closed because it's like I'm staring into a deep dark void.
It's like my life is ruined. Is there still any hope?
I've made an appointment in a vip clinic in Serbia to go do iboga, a mind cleansing drug that is supposedly many times stronger than LSD, but they say that after it's over, your state of mind goes back to it's original processing before you ever took any drug... I hope it helps and doesn't make my condition worse.
I took Niacin today for the first time ever and had a religious experience the moment it entered my brain and fixed a nerve wound. I felt it. It was good. I find hope in it.
IS THERE ANY HOPE??
God bless!!

Hello, 

I am sorry to hear how much you are struggling.  I have a few thoughts. 

• First, where there is life there is always hope.  I firmly believe this and also empathize with the fact that in the pit of despair, this might be difficult to believe.  

 

• Next, I would highly discourage you from taking any additional psychedelic drugs.  At least until you have a handle on your mental state and some stability is achieved. I know the wishful thinking of what one experience created can be extinguished by another such experience.  This may be true but it has its risks.  I am a firm believer in the healing power of psychedelics however, there is a population of people who have suffered very negative consequences as a result of them.  You may be sensitive and susceptible to their dark side. 

 

• Did you coordinate with your doctor to stop taking Solian? Did you taper properly etc... These types of drugs can strongly affect the mind and emotional stability especially if ended abruptly.  I highly encourage you to discuss this with your doctor. 

 

• Your best allies in the coming months will be time and learning to cope with anxiety.  I tell everyone who is struggling with this disorder the same thing: Maximize your chances of recovery by placing your body in the best condition to do so.  

1. Exercise as much as you can, even if your symptoms get worse. 

2. Eat healthy and balanced meals. 

3. Sleep as much as possible.

4. Limit caffeine intake. 

5. Stop all drugs including alcohol and especially weed (at least until things get better) 

6. Try not worry, stay busy to distract your mind with things such as work/school or hobbies. 

7. Learn to meditate and if you are open to it, ask God to help you.  You don't even have to believe in anything, I did not and it helped me. 

You will be okay, hang in there. 

Below you will find a meditation app that I like. 

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/headspace-meditation-sleep/id493145008

Take Care,

Nick 

 

l

 

 

 

 

 

[Ioannis]

Thank you Nick

[Hall89]

The last thing you should do is to take any drug with hallucinogetic properties. That clinic is a bunch of voodoo doctors that will mess you up even more. If you want any hope of this getting better stay away from cannabis, psychedelics, antidepresants and other psychoactive drugs. But to answer your question, yes, with abstinence many gets better and from what i've read it's usually the visual hallucinations that subside for some, same with the anxiety and dpdr. What seems to be permanent though is the typical VSS symptoms, i.e. the static, halos, starbursts, light sensitivity, ghosting etc, probably because we've fried our brains ability to filter out unnecessary visual stimuli.  

[cosmiccharlie]

1 hour ago, Hall89 said:

The last thing you should do is to take any drug with hallucinogetic properties. That clinic is a bunch of voodoo doctors that will mess you up even more. If you want any hope of this getting better stay away from cannabis, psychedelics, antidepresants and other psychoactive drugs. But to answer your question, yes, with abstinence many gets better and from what i've read it's usually the visual hallucinations that subside for some, same with the anxiety and dpdr. What seems to be permanent though is the typical VSS symptoms, i.e. the static, halos, starbursts, light sensitivity, ghosting etc, probably because we've fried our brains ability to filter out unnecessary visual stimuli.  

Please don't tell people to stay away from antidepressants.  They have been a huge help for me and could help someone else.  

[Hall89]

8 hours ago, cosmiccharlie said:

Please don't tell people to stay away from antidepressants.  They have been a huge help for me and could help someone else.  

Since they in rare cases can cause HPPD by themselves i feel that i have to warn about it. Many with HPPD that goes on them have their symptoms worsen as well, wich isn't wierd since they, like psychedelics and THC, have hallucinogetic properties and act on the 5HT2a receptors.

[cosmiccharlie]

I personally think we should limit our advice on this forum to our own experience not about what we've read.  None of us ( I assume) are doctors. 

[Lucas]

You're right charlie but still, my HPPD got way worse with SSRI.

A guy I know from my french support group got HPPD from an SSRI alone, he never took any drugs before.

I don't know about antidepressants as a whole, but SSRIs in particular seems to be risky.

Edited December 7, 2021 by Lucas