Got my HPPD three days ago, scared?

[morbide]

How're you doing passion? Lever du

[Passion]

Have the site been down? ;o

Haven't bought the magnedium or that stuff. Bought something called "Ginkgo".. It is good for the brain and helps you concentrate better. Didn't made any difference to the hppd or dpdr... I think. But now I can actually think about other stuff. And forget about my disorders for an hour.. And my mind can rest.

Eh... Hmm... I went into one week depression earlier.. It sucked. My brain was so.. Overloaded. Wanted to die. For real. Was crying every day, was so tired of "life". It wasn't life... I just.. Existed, but I didn't live.

Now I can just.. Rest a bit. It feels good.

Was in the woods last week, freaked out so much. Everything eas so 2D and flat. Like a popup book.

Don't like being in the woods. The trees scare me.

[morbide]

Have the site been down? ;o

Haven't bought the magnedium or that stuff. Bought something called "Ginkgo".. It is good for the brain and helps you concentrate better. Didn't made any difference to the hppd or dpdr... I think. But now I can actually think about other stuff. And forget about my disorders for an hour.. And my mind can rest.

Eh... Hmm... I went into one week depression earlier.. It sucked. My brain was so.. Overloaded. Wanted to die. For real. Was crying every day, was so tired of "life". It wasn't life... I just.. Existed, but I didn't live.

Now I can just.. Rest a bit. It feels good.

Was in the woods last week, freaked out so much. Everything eas so 2D and flat. Like a popup book.

Don't like being in the woods. The trees scare me.

Just stay strong Passion, do things you have passion for! (Briljerar med svensk dryg humor :3) I am also feeling really depressed now and then, but for that i'm going through kbt which really helps! You should really see a shrink (If you haven't done that already) and just get it all out, they might not understand hppd but they do understand deppression and anxiety.

And the 2D part i can really relate to, i had that a while back but i kept my self really occupied with school and friends and all of a sudden it went away. I think it (depersonalisation) has a REALLY strong connection to anxiety. Right now i have almost no anxiety at all and my visuals are very mild, i feel like i don't have hppd but i do.

You still haven't had hppd for quite a time and when i had had it for as long as you have now it was just horrible, it really eases up fast and you will soon experience a habitable bassline of symtoms

[2muchmandy]

Hes right. Once u figure out ur natural baseline then u feel much more relaxed and chilled out about things. By the sounds of it the woods arnt a good place for u, just stay outta them for a while til ur better.

[Passion]

Thanks you two...b. (See what I did there? 8D)

I am feeling much better right now than what I did before.

In the morning when I wake up, I no longer feel like I am continuing dreaming. I actually feel that I am awake.

I think. It is so hard to explain. You think that some of the symptoms have gone better, but you aren't really sure if thats the deal or if you are just starting to get used to them and forget about your life as it was before.

However, I very rarely experience anxiety now. But last week I experienced it every day.. 24/7.

I was scared of not existing. I was scared of everything.

Hmm.. I must ask. Does alcohol have a bad effect on your hppd and dpdr?

I am asking that because soon it will be summer and I am going to some festivals.

And just wonder what effect it has on the disorders.

And how bad does it get? C;

[Passion]

And do any of you experience that the walls and furniture are moving when its dark?

Like.. If you are looking at the corner of a wall, it is moving. It is like looking through a fire.

If you get how I mean..

I think that it is because of the statics. The dots are moving and it maybe makes it look like the walls are moving too.

[morbide]

And do any of you experience that the walls and furniture are moving when its dark?

Like.. If you are looking at the corner of a wall, it is moving. It is like looking through a fire.

If you get how I mean..

I think that it is because of the statics. The dots are moving and it maybe makes it look like the walls are moving too.

I get that 24/7, when i stare at my bathroom carpet e.g it moves and warps like hell, same with the ground outside but for as long as peoples faces keep intact i'm relaxed

Alcohol makes my visuals worse while i'm drunk but i have no anxiety, the day after my anxiety is pretty high but visuals are ok. And since i don't have dp or dr i don't know how alcohol affects it but there is a thread about alcohols effects already

[morbide]

Edit: double post.

[2muchmandy]

edges vibrate vibrate for me, only white edges, text moves, shit in the corner of my eye moves around. my visuals are really pretty mild

[morbide]

I'm glad text doesn't move for me, i love to read

[Passion]

Morbide, do you have afterimages?

[2muchmandy]

Reading a book is pretty hard for me. I may try. It might help. Feel like im improving. No visual snow but I see the movement of the snow

[morbide]

Morbide, do you have afterimages?

Yes and afterimages are imo my worst symtom atm, if i read something on a paper the text is still there if i look on a wall and it's there for about 5 minutes. I accidentally looked at the sun today (big nono for me) and i had a black dot in my vision for 30 minutes...

[Passion]

Looking at computer monitors sucks xD You stare at it for hours. Then look at a wall and kaboom.. A black sqare appears.

[morbide]

Looking at computer monitors sucks xD You stare at it for hours. Then look at a wall and kaboom.. A black sqare appears.

Haha it took me weeks to figure out what that black square was, thought i was going blind

[2muchmandy]

Happens with my phone too. E30zone is a bad site for making afterimages bad. Stare at it. Look away and theres lines over the walls

[Passion]

Morbide, gief your msn

[morbide]

Morbide, gief your msn

Don't has, add my facebook, it's in my signature

[Passion]

Does your friends and everyone know about your condition? o;

(Question to everyone)

[morbide]

Does your friends and everyone know about your condition? o;

(Question to everyone)

Friends and family, friends know it's drugrelated, told parents it might be becouse of a stressful period in my life that occured when i really got hppd. (Also i tell them there are many people with it and i refered them to thosewithvisualsnow.yuku.com becouse the people there seem to have the exact same visuals and dp/dr, most of them also got it during a stressful period of time.)

I've also told my parents that if this doesn't pass in years they better follow me to the doctor and force them to give me keppra or whatever.

[Dancetrooper]

Do the Negative afterimages only appear when light is going into the eye?

you should have a look at the psychedelic section there, may a look worth http://boards.420chan.org/psy/

[2muchmandy]

yeah my parents know, all my friends too. i dont fuck around. if people dont agree with me or care fuck em. i dont care what they think

[Passion]

My mother suggested for me to go to the doctor, so we can get some medication that might help against DPDR..

I am so scared. What have I done to my life? Why have I done this to myself... I ruined my life.

[2muchmandy]

you havnt ruined your life dont be silly. its just a bit difficult just now. DRDP doesnt stop people living. look up in the thread ^^^ see what youve written, saying how you felt better and good. this is just a bad phase, youl be fine again soon, just gotta remember it.

[morbide]

My mother suggested for me to go to the doctor, so we can get some medication that might help against DPDR..

I am so scared. What have I done to my life? Why have I done this to myself... I ruined my life.

When i think my life is ruined, i just look at jay1 here on the forum. He had/has terrible hppd and he has started his own businesses, he's got a wife and a stable work, he is my role model! . Everything is possible, hppd doesn't control you, you do.