Got my HPPD three days ago, scared?

[Passion]

Half-"swedish".. (A) Lived here for 8 years 8D

My biggest problem is my DR right now. Because I keep having this " WHAT AM I AND WHY DO I EXIST " feeling time to time. :C Had it since yesterday.. Not ALL the time.

But it hits me to the point where I don't even know why EXISTANCE exist. ._____. I can make myself feel this feeling if I question everything. But I try not to do it.. Because it only makes me

fall back to the beginning of everything.

:C But yeah.. I'll live.. or "live".. I don't know.

Life is good even if my mind isn't in my body. .____.

Hard to explain.

I am so.. sad. Because of the thought that in two days it has been ONE WHOLE MONTH since it all started. :C

I can't even tell if I am on my way to recovery or just getting used by it. And when I read others posts and they say that they have "recovered"..

I don't really get it if they recovered meant as THEY GOT BACK AS THEY WERE BEFORE THE ACCIDENT.. or.. that THEY GOT USED TO THEIR DISORDER SO MUCH IT BECAME "NORMAL" FOR THEM.

.___.

Have anyone of you TRULY recovered from HPPD or DP or DR?

For real? How long time did it took to recover? (I know, it is different for everyone, but I just want to know.) <:

But yeah, anyway, have a nice day! 8D

[morbide]

I studied philosophy resently in school and that really didn't make my dr better... But dwelling over existential questions is imo a mature thing to do and you get aware that you are in fact just a speck on the earths surface. But that is just life so don'tdwell about questions that have no answer, do that when you are back to normal

As an answer to your question, i had dp/dr for maybe two months but that went away as soon as i occupied myself with lots of things to do.

[Passion]

I think that I am going mad ;c I know that this is life.. This is world. That everything exists..

But I keep asking the same question.. WHY DOES EXISTANCE EXIST?.. I don't only ask it.

I FEEL weird when I ask that question. It's like.. Where the heck am I and is this real? ;c

Have any of you had this feeling?

[nepuinthesky]

dunno if this is helpful for you.but maybe you should read up about biology and physics.

this prevents me from questions like this.

i know also the origin of the universe and life isnt completly understood today

but alot of questions has already answers.

[Passion]

I get scared when I read stories about hppd and mostly dpdr and people say that they've had it for 40 years. ;c

[morbide]

Same here passion but i'm certain that they did lots of drugs after they got hppd and back then they had a different way of thinking, people did not care about their own well-being. Got they were so alpha!

[Passion]

I hope so :C Cuz I am scared. :C Hahah...

Do you have the feeling that the world is not real and you don't know what you are and what you are doing here?

[2muchmandy]

yeah dont read too much, i dont read anything. me and ferret are almost cured so, be positive!

[morbide]

I hope so :C Cuz I am scared. :C Hahah...

Do you have the feeling that the world is not real and you don't know what you are and what you are doing here?

Nobody knows their real purpose here on earth becouse we have none decided for us. Everyone creates their own fate.

[Passion]

Does anyone know why we feel this way? What has been changed in our brains? ;o

[nepuinthesky]

i think the root cause isnt discovered yet.

DP/DR is one of the most comorbid diseases of mental illnesses. and even the third most mental problem after anxiety and depression.

DP often follows traumatic happenings in childhood like sexual abuse. its believed that these persons try to "leave" themselves to better handle the abuse.

maybe that is why it is so common in mental problems like anxiety....

but there are also theories that it is caused by the same underlying cause as the other mental problem so first they have to be more explored.

DR is often mentioned by people which took drugs execively in the past.

but there are also a few organic problems which could lead to DP/DR, like brain lessions, brain tumor, Migraine, epilepsy

i think its very hard to explore the root cause of DP/DR but it also seems to be vary individual, for example cortisol could be playing a role..

Derealization can accompany the neurological conditions of epilepsy (particularly temporal lobe epilepsy), migraine, and mild head injury.^[5] There is a similarity between visual hypo-emotionality, a reduced emotional response to viewed objects, and derealization. This suggests a disruption of the process by which perception becomes emotionally coloured. This qualitative change in the experiencing of perception may lead to reports of anything viewed being unreal or detached.^[3]

Derealization can also manifest as an indirect result of certain vestibular disorders such as labyrinthitis and vestibular neuronitis. This is thought to result from the experience of anxiety precipitated by the functional disparity that arises between the ability to reconcile external stimuli relative to motion and equilibrioception that are compromised by vestibular dysfunction with the internal perceptions and expectations regarding the physical environment. An alternative explanation holds that a possible effect of vestibular dysfunction includes responses in the form of the modulation of noradrenergic and serotonergic activity due to a misattribution of vestibular symptoms to the presence of imminent physical danger resulting in the experience of anxiety or panic, which subsequently generate feelings of derealization.^[6]

Cannabis,^[7] psychedelics, dissociatives, antidepressants, caffeine, nitrous oxide, and nicotine can all produce feelings resembling derealization, particularly when taken in excess. It can also result from alcohol withdrawal or benzodiazepine withdrawal.^[8]

Derealization can also be a symptom of severe sleep disorders, and mental disorders like depersonalization disorder, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and anxiety disorders.^[9]

Interoceptive exposure can be used as a means to induce derealization, as well as the related phenomenon depersonalization.^[10]

A study of undergraduate students found that individuals high on the depersonalization/derealization subscale of the Dissociative Experiences Scale exhibited a more pronounced cortisol response. Individuals high on the absorption subscale, which measures a subject's experiences of concentration to the exclusion of awareness of other events, showed weaker cortisol responses.^[10]

[Passion]

Thanks for the answer <:

But it is so strange that one can feel this way.

Totally cut of from reality.

The worst part of it all is waking (don't know how to spell it, help) up in the morning and feeling like you are still sleeping.

I get so sad because of that feeling. >-< I used to love sleeping and the waking up part. Hahah.... Still love sleeping though...

It feels like I have asked this before but, for how long did you who recover had your DPDR?

[nepuinthesky]

The worst part of it all is waking (don't know how to spell it, help)

hehe iam german my english is like klingon^^ but i think awekening?^^

i had DR only a few times at the beginning when my visuals freaked me out, after my anxiety went DR went as well.

sometimes i got it when i fall asleep lying on my back and awekened again if i sleep on the side i dont have it dunno why

also i got it at my last job interview maybe stress related

edit: i wouldnt call me fully recovered but my HPPD is only visual. i have no comorbid diseases left

[Passion]

LUCKY BASTARD :C Hahaha... My hppd is almost gone or.. As I said before.. I am used to it now.

The only strange feeling is when I think I see in 2D sometimes.. the there are those dots that I see sometimes.. And the afterimages.

Life sensitivity too..

The worst thing is my DPDR. :C Hahah.. But otherwise I am good.

[nepuinthesky]

I see in 2D sometimes

i thinl here is another thread where people say this is a symptom of DP/DR

http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/887-flat2d-vision/

yeah i can handle the visuals but i hate to be careful drinking alcohol or caffeine because i dont wont them to get worse again

[Passion]

Oh Thank you.. Looked it up.

And yes, I too think that this is one of DPDR's symptoms.

I must thank everyone who ever wrote in this thread. You have been a big help to me..

And I am the luckiest person because of the support I got from you.

Thank you for being there for me.

[nepuinthesky]

no prob...if docs dont care we have to do it and work together as good as possible thats empowerment^^

[2muchmandy]

i agree, if the doctors dont support us wel obviously need to do it ourselves. constant proof hppd doesnt stop people living and doing things

[Passion]

The doctors won't help us until half of earths population will suffer from this. And only THEN they will take us serious and try to work something out.

Nepuinthesky, love your signature.

[nepuinthesky]

hehe^^

hmm here in germany every drug addicted is treated and also psychotics after drug use are treated..

i think HPPD is very mysterious and doctors dont know who to handle it if they are aware of it

[Passion]

I have decided to start use non-prescription medication,

in hope that this will save me from my DPDR.

Read about a guy who used "Magnesium" and "b12" and the DPDR vanished.

I hope it will do the same thing for me. Will order both tomorrow. Fuck yeah.

Hope for the best.

If I find something that help me, I'll share the info later.

Since I think that both HPPD and DPDR has something to do with the brain and it's balance.. o;

[2muchmandy]

Hows the magnesium treatin u?

[Jay1]

I think with dp/dr.... It is good to have something that grounds you back to earth.... For instance, when my mind starts floating about and I feel like i'm not in my body... I just put my hand on something solid... a wall or railing, for instance... This connection seems to snap me back into the real world a little bit.

I sometimes shake my head really hard from side to side too... Seems to snap me back into reality (do this in private!)

[morbide]

I think with dp/dr.... It is good to have something that grounds you back to earth.... For instance, when my mind starts floating about and I feel like i'm not in my body... I just put my hand on something solid... a wall or railing, for instance... This connection seems to snap me back into the real world a little bit.

I sometimes shake my head really hard from side to side too... Seems to snap me back into reality (do this in private!)

Maybe metalheads are always free from dp/dr prior to headbanging all day long

[2muchmandy]

Haha think il try that. I never feel too drdped when im bouncing round listening to drum n bass