TheGman6072

I know that with HPPD, doctors will think I am schizo lol

So lately I have been easily getting pissed off and having these moments of rage and insanity. I'm 16 so I think this could have to do with hormones since when I'm losing my temper, I feel like I'm 6'3" and can throw a truck but this constant anger, and depression also started soon after taking diphenhydramine, making my HPPD worse and causing me to develop suspected dp since I never feel any emotions except anger or slight sadness

Last time I did weed was in April but didn't experience anything bad but it didn't feel the same as the other times I did weed. But back then, I didn't have it that bad but I'm at my worst with HPPD currently

And with weed edibles, the symptoms are stronger

I actually enjoy hallucinating but I only hallucinated on weed when I greened out. I mostly took weed in edible form though

Are there any drugs besides weed that won't make HPPD worse ? I was thinking about dxm. Would dxm affect HPPD ?

How am I going to recover if I'm noticing this shit get worse ?

Does it make the depersonalization worse ?

Well cuz the use of drugs and depression kinda makes it make sense

This is driving me crazy. I have not taken any drugs since early July and just like 10 minutes ago I started seeing new strange patterns and other visual disturbances that I never seen in my life. And now in one eye, everything is brighter and in the other eye, everything appears darker. I'm trying to recover and I have not taken any hallucinogens or any other drugs but my visuals and my mind are getting worse and worse My usual symptoms : Each < means the symptom worsened <•Visual snow •brain fog (oh god I hate the brainfog the most) •derealization and maybe depersonalization (can't really feel any emotions other than anger and slight sadness) <•Colors flashing or floating around at night <•Objects appear to shift side to side, breath or sway back and forth •halos around objects in the dark or at night •afterimages

I would constantly get headaches but they kinda stopped for several months but they just recently came back. Are you talking about those headaches where you feel pressure on your eyes ?

Yeah my parents care about me but they are way too annoying and they suck

I know that feeling where there is the headache and pressure on the eyes but Jesus Christ I never felt them burn

Anyone else feel separated, or like the black sheep of the family ? I am almost always fighting with my parents and just this morning I was yelling at my mom over something that I don't remember. I sometimes scare my mom cuz my voice gets very loud and deep when I am angry. I have been constantly having moments of insanity. I legit want my parents to die sometimes so my problems will end. This combination constant anxiety, anger and detachment. I have been feeling suicidal for a couple weeks now and I don't know what "normal" feels like anymore. I just feel like I'm in a horrible dream and not waking up

I try not to smoke that much. I don't want it to become a habit. It's gross too lol

Anybody else smoke when they are having very high levels of anxiety or stress ?

So one of my mom's best friends passed away in October. Well my mom just told me that her friend who passed away took LSD when she was young and I heard that she was "mildly schizophrenic" and had a history of depression from doing drugs. Well the first thought that ran through my head was "oh my god she wasn't schizo. She had fucking HPPD !". This totally pissed me off cuz I hear a lot about doctors telling people who have HPPD that they have schizophrenia!

I have had HPPD for over a year since June of 2014 and I have gotten high many times off weed since then and I still enjoyed being high. last time I did weed was in April but my HPPD has gotten worse recently so I don't know how I would react to drugs again

Well I just fell asleep at 2am and then I woke up at 5am and I didn't recognize where I was. Everything looked different and I was slightly disoriented and confused. Still wondering how I got to my dad's house lol

So it's like 1:30am and The visuals are at their most intense and I was enjoying them for like 20 minutes but now I am seeing the colors and thinking "ah shit !". Usually when I am up super late I feel very confused and strange (not in a good way) but right now I feel totally out of this world and it feels awesome. Anyone else ever felt this ?

Oh yeah. When I have panic attacks, the visuals get more intense. Usually when I look at the visuals at night, I get nervous and that makes it 20 times worse

I always had anxiety when I was little but I stopped having anxiety during middle school and the first half of freshman year of high school but when I got into drugs, I was always having anxiety when I wasn't on them. I first something was wrong when I stopped doing drugs for the summer of 2014 and thought "ok I fucked up my brain" cuz I didn't know why I was experiencing this even after I stopped doing drugs. I didn't even find out about HPPD and never even heard of it til this passed May but my HPPD has gotten much worse since then because I started tripping on diphenhydramine but on Fourth of July, I tripped on Diphenhydramine 3 nights in a row. I have been having constant panic attacks and anxiety. My visuals are now to the point where I see COLORS in the dark. I have derealization and I suspect I might have depersonalization but I kinda doubt it

Lol everyone sees a bunch of patterns and weird shit when they close their eyes very tight

So I was on chatting with two of my subscribers and i forgot what started the discussion lol but I asked "ever heard of HPPD ?" And then one of them asks "is that why I see trails all the time since 1983 ?" And then I asked if he sees visual snow or halos and then he says he often sees the "starburst" colors around lights. He says stable objects appear to move which I also have. This all seems to match HPPD symptoms. He says he used to do a lot of acid, diphenhydramine, dextromethoripan, psycilin(psyilcybin) and shrooms

You been doing drugs or is it getting worse without drugs ?