TheGman6072

Has anyone else posted about HPPD on YouTube ? I just posted a video today. I just can't talk on video lol

Just going to be constant stress, brainfog and everything is worse so I might do worse in school than last year

Currently approaching my 2nd school year with HPPD. School is starting in 18 days and since early July, my HPPD has been at its worst. The brain fog is the symptom I hate the most cuz I had a hard time functioning in school and now I'm about to start another year of the same shit but this year, it will probably be worse. My memory sucks and I used to have a great memory before I got HPPD. I can't understand things I read unless I read them twice or more. I would have a hard time understanding what the teachers say when they go over directions and I would have to ask them to go over it again and I STILL wouldn't understand what they say even though I was listening ! My mom has been noticing very strange behavior from me lately. On July 8th, I walked out of the house and walked around Huntington Beach at 2:30 in the morning. I have been having crazy moments of insanity and rage. My brother tried to block me from entering a room and I grabbed him and threw him across the room. Was going to keep this a secret but I tried to kill myself by taking 1000mg of diphenhydramine about 4 or 5 days ago but I guess the tolerance prevented it from killing me. That suicide attempt failed obviously and I sure am lucky that it didn't kill me cuz now I don't feel like killing myself anymore. My HPPD visuals for some reason, have not gotten worse but they have not gotten any better either they look exactly the same. I've just confirmed that I have depersonalization which is just what I feared and suspected since early July. I feel nothing but slight sadness, anger and sometimes no emotions at all. Today, I have been feeling no emotions, not even sadness or anger and it's been like that since last night but I guess not feeling any emotions is better than being angry or sad. The derealization sucks cuz I was in Hawaii for a week and everything I did there feels like it never happened and was all a dream. I always feel like I'm in a dream and everything is not real. I am hoping for a better year but I doubt this year will be any better. Going to leave this website for a while cuz this website might be making problems worse. Hopefully my brain fog didn't affect the way I wrote this.

LSD is what caused my HPPD just over a year ago but then I start doing diphenhydramine and it got much worse

It was a short period of time but I think what I experienced when I took the magnesium supplements might have actually been a diphenhydramine hangover since I had taken a lot of diphenhydramine the few nights before

Hopefully if I do take something, it works

I am not really worried about the visuals but the brain fog, anxiety, dp and dr are the things I hate the most

I have only noticed afterimages at night or in a dark room.

The post got cut off so I'm going to write the rest here I have been doing many strange things and I'm not even aware of it but I think other people I message and talk to can tell I'm a little strange lately. My mom is freaked out because of my behavior lately and she is ready to send me to my dad's house permanently

Oops I didn't finish. I need to get off this website cuz I just get so irritated every time I visit this website

Jeez I rant a lot. But I think it kinda helps to vent. So Fourth of July I take diphenhydramine 3 nights in a row, HPPD gets worse. I get back from Hawaii July 17th and that's when I notice something is wrong with me mentally, physically and emotionally. I have had very bad anxiety lately. I have just confirmed that I have depersonalization since I only feel sadness, anger and sometimes no emotions at all. I don't feel anything towards family members or anyone. Sometimes I want my parents to die cuz I feel like they are a big source of my anxiety. I have these moments of insanity where I am yelling like a maniac in my mom's face. Brainfog is the symptom I hate the most and it seems like it just got worse. Just this morning, I had blacked out and my memory of what i was doing was completely gone. I just remember looking down and thinking "when the fuck did I start making a hotdog ?" because I had no memory of even starting to make it. My appetite is now completely gone. I have noticed that I was losing my appetite but I had no problem eating until this morning. I took a bite out of the hotdog I made and I gagged and the hotdog had a weird taste to it. I don't feel hungry at all even though I have not eaten in almost 24 hours. I tried drinking milk and it tasted awful. Everything tastes weird. I need to get off this website for a while cuz I'm just

To me, the anxiety, derealization, depression, brain fog and depersonalization are the worst. To me, I think worse visuals would be worth getting rid of the anxiety and other crap

Would it help visuals or make them worse ?

Side effects kinda make it seem like it's not worth it. I would rather have visuals than have depression get worse

I thought about it again and I think the crazy depression and bad feeling I got after the magnesium pills, might have actually been a diphenhydramine hangover since I had been tripping on diphenhydramine a couple days before taking the magnesium pills but I did read that my friend who gave me the pills also experienced the same thing

I have noticed that people keep talking about medications for HPPD. I read and heard that many of these drugs being mentioned for HPPD are very addictive and can mess you up ! My great uncle is addicted to anti anxiety medications and he started at a young age and has never had a job in his life and is mentally fucked up. He is a shining example of white trash because he will never be able to do anything with his life because he became addicted to these anti anxiety medications and is mentally fucked up. I will never take any kind of meds for HPPD. I have taken magnesium glycinate supplements and for the next 2 days, it made the visuals a little better but mentally and emotionally, it fucked me up and I will NEVER trust medications again. To me, a diphenhydramine hangover feels better than what those meds do to people. So why not try to recover med free ?!

I have had this for just over a year and only noticed these visuals after doing drugs and I had never even heard of HPPD at the time. I was seeing these visuals while undiagnosed for a while before learning what HPPD was. I see tracers, afterimages and I see very strong visual snow all the time. I started noticing all this before I ever learned about HPPD

I posted this in the Main And General Forum but I don't think it belongs there. My HPPD and derealization is only getting worse. I am not ready to start a new school year cuz I already know it will be worse than sophomore year with the brain fog. I have become very mentally unstable and the littlest things set me off. Been having horrible experiences over the passed few days and I wake up this morning thinking "did that really just happen ?" and once I realize it actually did, I just get very depressed. I have pretty much decided that I will kill myself if this HPPD doesn't go away by the time I'm 18, Maybe even when the school year starts

My HPPD and derealization is only getting worse. I am not ready to start a new school year cuz I already know it will be worse than sophomore year with the brain fog. I have become very mentally unstable and the littlest things set me off. Been having horrible experiences over the passed few days and I wake up this morning thinking "did that really just happen ?" and once I realize it actually did, I just get very depressed. I have pretty much decided that I will kill myself if this HPPD doesn't go away by the time I'm 18, Maybe even when the school year starts

This is like the 3rd time I've seen things that weren't there without drugs. I'm sitting in my room and I look at the fish tank and I see like 3 fish that died like 2 or 3 years ago but they were alive and swimming but they were obviously not there cuz they were like a ghostly gray color. I am freaking out cuz I was hallucinating like a schizo

How easy is it to get this ? They have to be prescribed ?

But if I would have known what HPPD was back then, I wouldn't have done weed again

I have had HPPD for just over a year now and the first 11 months, I was undiagnosed and I had done weed (edible form) several times in that time period. I have not smoked or ate weed since April though but I did take diphenhydramine in early July which really fucked me up and caused my anxiety problems to get much worse so I bet if I smoked weed now, I would freak out

I never heard of this stuff but I just read that CBD oil helps with panic and anxiety but I am also wondering if it helps with visuals ?

Will cbd oil also help with the visuals ?