gill

I think it's some sort of disinhibition; one way or another...

I've had this for about 7 years. Wow, time flies. Certain things can temporarily aggravate my hppd. But I can't say there's any overall worsening. (course, I haven't taken any psychedelics also which I'm sure helps!)

Free form amino acids have aggravated by hppd temporarily in the past. (not NAC though). No negative effect in protein form though.

The perception of watching yourself, as if being split, as I mentioned in another thread, is Depersonalization. You're not actually 'going crazy', but it can feel like it. It's mostly related to over-stimulation. How long it lasts depends on how people treat themselves, and other unknown factors. But, I used to visit the DP site for awhile, and many people say they have gotten much better, but takes a lot of patience. It's not hopeless though.

It's like watching yourself move/think from a slightly detached perspective. Like an off-set sense of self. Feelings can be numb. Also feeling detached from the external world, as if being stuck in your head. (macro/micropsia, people can look fake, or like robots). It's pretty messed up in my experience...can be dealt with though.

It caused me a lot of irritability when I tried it also. Something to watch out for....

I don't see why it's necessary to convince them you have HPPD; they can still help out with anxiety regardless. And, none of us are perfect, so no need to be so hard on yourself.

Good to hear.

I've had this over 7 years, and at times I'll have my bitter days. Thinking, 'i didn't deserve this' and what not'. Thing is though, overall I think it's made me wiser in many ways. There's important lessons that will be learned along the way. I look back at my old attitude towards mind-altering substances, I was pretty naive. And that's just part of life I suppose, everyone has their lessons to learn, one way or another....

It seems more effective to me to treat my obsessions with HPPD then trying to directly get rid of the visuals, which was my initial reaction. It would of course be ideal to eliminate all visuals, but is a little overly ambitious, and not a failure if we don't. Whatever people focus on, well, that tends to enhance what you focus on you know.... I don't know if my visuals have gotten substantially better in the past 7 years, but I don't focus on them as much, so it doesn't seem like the end of the world anymore, and I think that's progress.

Dilantin had some positive effects on my HPPD. I stopped taking it though because it was making me too lethargic. Keppra is probably the worst medication I've taken, it made me suicidally depressed after awhile. You gotta be careful with anti-epileptic drugs, they tend to cause depression if you over do it, or are sensitive to them.

Yeah, not abusing drugs like alcohol helps. Who knew......

The cure is to treat yourself healthy and stop obsessing about the distortions.

I've felt insane. That's a lot different than actually being insane though. This is mostly anxiety related, thinking you're going insane. Eat healthy, exercise, you know, there's many things that can help reduce anxiety.

I haven't drank since early December last year. I used to abuse the stuff. I just got to the point where I had enough of all the negative crap that went with it, and so I stopped. Felt pretty crappy for several weeks. Overall feel better now though.

My hppd was very mild after only a few experiences, then it got worse after taking more psychedelics, so don't ever say you weren't warned....

Don't know, but if there's any advice I can give to new hppders; since having it myself for many years, I find it's better to find ways to not obsess about it then try to directly get rid of it, which in my experience usually tended to aggravate it more...

Uh, not a good idea.

Well it's nice to see some people working to medically understand hppd more, and so then bring more awareness to it. I honestly don't think the general public would have much sympathy though considering they're illegal substances. Although I don't think I really deserve as severe as hppd as I've had for what I took, I don't feel as much sympathy for myself anymore either. It's a good lesson to never take any drug lightly again.... So then hopefully in the long run it will have benefited me as far as a lesson...

Sorry to hear the probs you've had. Yes, I've run into probs taking klonopin. Those drugs can numb you out, then if you try to come off them abruptly, watch out....Anyways, I think it goes to show anyone considering a benzo needs to take it very seriously, they are not to be fooled around with. Probably best not take any at all.....

I do think they effect genes. [http://www.nature.com/npp/journal/v26/n5/full/1395848a.html] But I think it's a done deal, you can't reverse it. Fortunately new nerve pathways can grow in the brain, and I believe counteract a lot of this. You have to treat yourself well though. I've seen improvements in my vision over the years, not when being unhealthy though.

I think the stuff alters the nerve pathways in the brain so that you become more sensitive to visual stimulus. But it's not just visual. Perception I notice is related to emotional states, so it's important to focus on emotional health, and this will make hppd less of a big deal.

If you drink excessively...hppd will eventually be the least of your concerns....

keppra put me into a dark depression, not worth any visual effects for me. The most effective thing probably is the klonopin I've taken, but of course you have to be careful of side effects, including depression. Personally I'd rather have hppd an not be depressed, rather than no hppd and depressed....so you gotta watch for that.

I'd say that my tendency to be an obsessional thinker, is a necessary factor for hppd to exist, for me. Some people in the past have gone so far as to say that hppd is simply an obsessional thought itself, that it has no existence beyond that. I disagree because I did notice changes in my perception after my first couple experiences with LSD, before I became obsessed with the changes. It wan't until later down the road, with further psychedelic use, that my visuals got worse, and then came this strong interlinking with obsessing about the perception. And, at this point is when I started to consider it a disorder. It was very difficult to not pay attention to the visuals. So then , I tried this or that, whatever it may be, in some intentional effort to get rid of my hppd directly. In this process, I'd be more on the alert afterwards to notice if there are any improvements. Well, in being in a state of looking for improvements, it's simply drawing more attention to the visuals, which can just intensify them more. So I find the best approach is not to necessarily address the distortions directly. Although, there's nothing wrong with doing some things which may do that. But, the primary approach I find most useful is to simply find ways to direct my attention onto other things, and then automatically the visuals become less intensive over time, without conscious effort. So then my recommendation to anyone experiencing intense hppd is to not simply try to get rid of your hppd directly. But focus more on finding ways to obsess less about it. An interesting side note: is that most classic psychedelics, lsd, psilocybin, mescaline, mdma, etc. directly effect serotonin neurons. And, many psychiatrists believe that obsessive-compulsive disorder involves vulnerabilities in the serotonin system. A hypothesis might then be that these psychedelics interacting with certain people who have this pre-existing vulnerability in the serotonin pathways, can be more likely to produce this 'locking onto' perceptual distortions, which then almost creates this looping type of thought process around the visuals, causing them to intensify to the point where you have a disorder. Other people, who take the psychedelics, who don't have such a vulnerability, may develop the distortions, but are less likely to get stuck on the awareness of them, transitioning away from them with less effort, so the visuals fade quicker, which may partly explain why many people can take such drugs without developing severe hppd.