gill

I think 12 years. I can't believe it's been that long. You start to think less of it over time, especially after several years. I would do some things different if I could go back. I should of quit all drugs. I kept drinking for several years which I'm sure kept HPPD and obsessions about it worse. Despite all that though, the HPPD has never gotten worse. Certain things can aggravate it, but never worse.

Glutamate also causes synapse plasticity. Perhaps it's just odd brain cell connections in response to odd chemicals. For instance, if you have over-connectivity in visual areas, this could decrease inhibition, leading to things like trails. I don't think there'd be any way to directly counteract these changes though. Gave up a long time ago looking for some direct cure.

8 months isn't that long for HPPD. I haven't taken psychedelics in over 10 years and still have some HPPD symptoms. I'm pretty sure at this point, at least for me, that I'll probably always have some. The brain won't go back to how it was. Good news is though that the brain can re-adapt causing symptoms to lesson over time to where you won't think about them. My experience is that this lessening only happened after giving up trying to cure my HPPD and just dealt with my obsessions with it.

Ya, Dukkha is correct. I used to just obsess about HPPD everyday and, that's when it was the worst. It's a perceptual disorder. Well a big part of perception is attention. Whatever you pay the most attention to , this is what your mind/brain amplifies. I tried every drug, supplement, running around, whatever to 'cure' HPPD. Didn't work. Because, I never cured my obsession with it. Once I started treating my obsession with HPPD and not the visuals I started to improve. I focused on other things, the more I did the more HPPD diminishes into the background. The SSRI I took really helped to cut through the obsessions. This might be useful for people who just can't seem to stop focusing on it. And yes, I used to read here lot's of people saying to stay away from SSRIs, that they make visuals worse. Well, maybe for a few days or a week or so, but if you give it a couple weeks, everything is fine... so don't just buy everything you read here. And I'm not saying HPPD is 'all in the head' or something like that. The visuals are real. But the heart of the problem is the difficulty or inability to refocus one's attention away from them. I still have some visuals after 10+ years. Some static, trails.. etc. I don't think the brain will ever fully go back to normal because it's always adapting. You throw a strong chem at it like LSD well, it's going to make adaptations to that chemical. But if you refocus long enough, it is possible to diminish HPPD to the point where it's in the background and you're not thinking about it all the time.

Not trying to diagnose anyone, but in my experience the perception of the blurring of boundaries between your sense-of-self and the external world was DP/DR related. I think often people with Hppd also have DP/DR and may not realize it; although I know the OP mentioned it. My experience is that if you can reduce dissociation, Hppd becomes much less on the foreground of perception.

Yeah there's certain things that can temporarily aggravate the visuals like too much caffeine. In my experience though, things have always returned back to 'baseline' and never got permanently worse. Important to note though that I haven't taken any psychedelics since this started.

I used to believe I couldn't ignore it either; that it was too severe. I used to come to the forum and tell people who said it could be ignored that they must not have 'real' hppd. If you believe that you can't ignore it, well then you'll be less likely to ignore it.. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. But, clearly you must have been ignoring to some degree to be able to type sentences and express yourself enough.

Anxiety fuels Hppd.

Not trying to downplay how difficult it may be. I basically felt mentally insane for awhile with Hppd, and DP/DR on top of it! All I'm saying is it is possible to come out. Actually, it's better to get out of DP/DR first, which if done makes Hppd seem much less encompassing. It's the dissociation with things that can really make one feel trapped in their own mind and perceptions

You stated that you had Hppd for years without it interfering with life, yes? My question is what makes things different now? If you were capable of disregarding it for a long time then you are certainly capable of doing that again, no? Maybe it's more challenging now to do so, but that doesn't mean it's impossible.

Neuroplasticity is the adaptations I'm talking about.. the brain changes.

Do you not believe the brain adapts to whatever we focus on? You don't seem to be having any problems reading what I wrote.. I used to have what some would call 'severe hppd'. It wasn't until I realized that what makes it severe was fixation. It's not some static condition that never changes.

Then checking doesn't help, does it.

I'm saying right now my visuals have diminished from ignoring them. The brain adapts to whatever we feed it sensory . If you don't have anxiety, or worry , about Hppd then why bother giving it any attention?

Seeing distortions once in awhile is much different then having an alert reaction to them. I see them to once in awhile too. But my old reaction was to automatically think 'that's a problem that I must give all focus now'.... of course this just amplifies them. But, if one sees them momentarily, but then brushes them off as not a threat, not needing immediate attention, they fade into the background.

How predictable. 'Gill, you must not have REAL hppd' Guess what; back before this new forum I had over a thousand posts on the old forum. I used to think about Hppd all the time. Come here and discuss about it. Fixate on it. Now I don't. Fixation on whether visuals are improving day to day is one's worst enemy. You have to let it go. As you focus on other things, the brain re-adjusts to amplifying focus on other things and Hppd fades into the background. I challenge anyone here to not come to this forum for a month and not think about Hppd during that time... If that sounds difficult then you are in a state of obsession.

Not true? Interesting.. I used to obsess about Hppd everyday. Constantly checking to see if my perception is better. Now I don't. And, it's improved.

No, it's a product of drugs. What fuels it, amplifies it, and keeps it going is obsessional thinking/behavior.

I think we are Obsessive-Compulsive.

Hppd IS related to over-analyzing one's own perception. This leads to a cycle of focusing on it more which amplifies it more and so you focus on it more. So instead of trying to prove you have HPPD, why not focus on other things? The more you focus on other things, the more Hppd will fade into the background and become less important.

I used to constantly check my perceptions and fixate on how bad they might be or if they are better.. This never helped my situation; it only draws more attention to hppd and aggravates the situation.

Back several years ago I used to be consumed by HPPD trying all sorts of things to cure it. Now, I rarely think about it. So what's the difference? Well, no, it's not 'all in your head'; the visual distortions are real and I still have some; and they tend to be aggravated by some stressors. The difference is that a few years ago I stopped trying to cure HPPD and instead tried the approach of treating myself for OCD. And, it worked. Eventually, I stopped constantly thinking about HPPD, got busier in life, and now rarely think about it. Effectively , took the energy out of it. And so HPPD symptoms became less prominent in response. A t some point the realization is to not let HPPD define your identity. But it will if you keep identifying with it! Hope that helps someone.

My experience is that I made it worse by trying to constantly control it. It can be difficult to just let it be but we forget easily how much our bodies heal themselves. If, we give them the chance that is...

Trying to treat my hppd or dissociation directly has never worked... My advice is to try treating your emotional issues first...

I find that taking some magnesium before bed helps to reduce insomnia.