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Merkan

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Everything posted by Merkan

  1. Hope1, did it get worse in the beginning? I would really like to give it a try even if it would be worse in the beginning.
  2. I was bound in a very carismatic Christian movement. I still believe but dropped that part. Trying drugs that got me in to this was something of breaking free. I liked the stands at tge local sport venue. Sadly, my dreams were never fulfilled. I started to dream about packing a bag in my early 20's and just leave for asia. Dreaming about discovering all the flavours of the world. Working with something creativity. So a part of the mental trauma has been that i an still in a state of never broken free from my parents, a feeling that i am not were i was supposed to be. Money and career never bothered me. I am at a point today were i am a lot better with my meds and have studied music and still is. I feel ready to start travel. When i got this i couldnt dit on a domestic bus for 30 minutes without freaking out. Now i feel ok at times to take a flight for five hours without "backup". My goal this year is to do a trip to the U.S, India or Japan. I am also gonna finish my studies and try to make something out of it. Dreams are worth waiting for.
  3. Since i live in Sweden, i can study music without really knowing what to do with it. If i wont make it on my own i will go the academic route of music. Wont tell you my age though, trying to keep some privacy. But i am a bit older then most here
  4. Yes. This is one of the strangest thing i have had so far. I did a 15 minute guided meditation and my symptoms subsided almost to oblivion. Even the cognitve stuff. It lasted for some hours then i was back in the HPPD loop again, much worse for six weeks or something like that. Kinda sad it didn't last or that i couldnt continou.
  5. Yep both. The blue stuff when going to bed when i turn of the lights but disappear instantly. The fractal spot when i am about to ger better and comes and goes during a couple of days.
  6. Though it really doesnt solve anything its comforting to demystify these things (not going mad etc.)
  7. Gott snack! It makes me a bit worried about my brain health when i was off all my meds to do a Qeeg and when i popped the Keppra 750mg right after the test knocked out for 14 hours. The days before i slept like two hours/night due to the over active brain while off meds.
  8. Interesting though, B6 makes Keppra less fuctional to me. Almost not working for visuals
  9. ^ Because i have been off Clonazepam while on Keppra. Not good..
  10. I took 3 grams last night and it helped me a lot. Not with visuals of course but it did help with mood and Keppra related stuff. Since i am on a ketogenic diet which potentiate the Keppra which depleats serotonin (which is good to a point in HPPD) and the keto-diet depleats serotonin in itself, i need a bit of extra serotonin even if it makes somethings worse if you take too much. So i will probably take one capsule at breakfast and one at night in the future.
  11. Late response but during my eight years, Visual is the one i can relate to most. Regarding symptoms that is. I got it from MDA and he got it from toxicity exposure. I too had the CEV thingy that went away in my late teens.
  12. Dont know, i got HPPD one month past my drug experience but it struck me straight out of the blue, no symptoms at all before and no trigger
  13. Weird that there are so many swedes here. Either we are keen to look up information or there is something in the water. Even if there are a lot of RC:s in the country, there are other countries except the us/gb where psychs are very common, like Australia and Israel where people are popping synthetic psychedelics like nothing and both have good knowledge in the english language and knows their way around the internet. The darkness and intense VDU usage might make us suffer from this even more? I always get so much better just by moving myself to central europe.
  14. Exercise is about the worst thing for my symptoms. Amps up like crazy for weeks
  15. Nitrous, my love drug pre-HPPD. Mind orgasm. But no, now its scary and i am afraid what it will do.
  16. Watched a video of the blackmagic and that is something. Might do some art stuff together with my music studio as well.
  17. Jay, as you are in the AV-dept., do you have any advice on what to buy if you want something better then the iphone to record on. I dont know this stuff, is a go pro camera better? Does a couple of 100€ makes a huge difference to an iPhone5 cam?
  18. Dentist anestesia (or whatever it is called), best thing ever for HPPD sufferers.
  19. I think this would be a great "next step" for the community. We have testemonies coming up and a lot of other stuff could be made available, like Dr.A interview etc. I stepped down as admin for a long time ago and have no wish to jump on that train but i think it would be a good idea if the channel is controlled/approved by David. Perhaps Jay can put up vids that are being produced as some kinda basic quality control. Of course Jay (or anyone else with the support from David and the community must want to do this. No pressure. Then its up to the community to provide relevant material.
  20. Great man! Once again i feel glad (well, we all got this so you know i mean it in a good way) to see another face of HPPD. And a voice. You seem like a great, humble guy and it really isnt fair you, or anyone else for that matter, to have this. I would like to do one if my own, when i can get som proper equipment up and running.
  21. Wow! I am 7 years in and to look at you, a normal person sitting there talkting about it really gives me some kinda comfort that i am still human. If i wouldn't have had HPPD i couldnt relate to your experience, only that you were talking about some illness. It encourage me to make my own (idea of a HPPDonline youtube channel?) Anyway glad to see some faces behind all the avatars and names.
  22. I am also very interested in what happened taking DMT post HPPD. Just watched "The spirit molecule", interesting though alot of the philosophy is a little bit to much. I also believe there would be a great chance taht i wouldnt have got HPPD if i would have stuck to mushrooms and/or DMT. That MDA really burnt me. However MIssjess got it from Iboga so... OT: wonder what the difference is from DMT release inside the brain and taking it orally when it comes to our CNS.
  23. I am sorry that happened to you. Hope it'll go away. Its very interesting information and perhaps there is a clue to what parts of the brain that can/should be trained.
  24. I know that you are in stress and i cannot promise anything, but my symptoms was amped like that for 5-6 days if i remember it right when i took it last time 5-6 years ago. Lack of dopamine or stressig the CNS can take some time for us before the symptoms fade.
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