Spartan

Possibly this is depersonalisation talking...

Thanks Jay appreciate this 

Although what's actually happening is that I'm undergoing a situation that is literally driving me mental.

Would have to be the most stressful and traumatic and horrible experience for anyone to go through even without chronic debilitating hppd.

I would like to share more though  I cannot due to confidentiality.

Thankyou.

I'm sorry to hear your condition has been made permanently worse firehawk.

Thanks for recommendations and support Cosmic and everyone. 

To be honest my baseline has been taken to a completely new level all together.

Meaning my condition has been worsened due to what I have been through. 

Severe stress and trauma over time that I won't go into here.

Like my visuals are completely off the wall / charts (insane shit) DP is at a whole new level.

It's really scary. 

This is after abruptly stopping Klonopin / being hospitalised and with no taper.. 

I was using the medication as a patient to treat a chronic condition. Now what do I have.... nothing.  

No discharge after care plan, nothing.

WTF

Thankyou doctors. For the damage you have done.

Hi Jay

This is valuable insight  to deepen my understanding.

Yeah it's kind of got me quite concrned. 

I have not tried a beta blocker yet although I would be keen to give  them a go..

Yeah it is kind of freaky the effects that stress has and I guess this  being be most stressful time of my entire life and has generally been pushing me quite close to the edge.

I will definitely look into beta blockers!

Many thanks again for your ongoing support etc ! 

I feel like at this point in my life my symptoms are more vivid now and more intense now than they have ever been in my entire life.

I'm just wondering if person goes through serious life crisis or trauma can the condition be permanently worsened ? 

Quite concerned for this..

I don't mean to be Mr Neg or Debbie Downer lol

it just how things are. 

All the best with ssris. Unfortunately this is something that I definitely cannot tolerate having hppd. 

My understanding is that there is another name for hppd and that is:

"acute hallucinogen induced psychosis"

I would have thought if someone doesn't have visuals then they don't have hppd because hppd is a disorder of perception or a perceptual disorder.

Though as Jay 1 says 

Primarily you have the visual  symptoms

The the non visual consisting of

DP DR, anxiety, panic, depression etc 

I've had bit of a cold and recently took to medication for it called Sudafed that contains pseudoephedrine, which is a stimulant.

After taking just one tablet and I was completely off the wall in relation to visuals like full-blown tripping.

It just shows how any stressors or stressors to the CNS really exacerbates things hardcore. 

Absolutely Jay . Me too 100% 

This is something I've had  to do for many years..

II was just wondering is there anyone else who has to sleep with a light on? 

I find in complete darkness, I am completely engulfed in hppd visuals,and literally lost in blizzard  psychedelic realms. I find this very traumatizing at times.

It's still super bad and super intense even with the light on. I.e. no escape.

Can anyone else relate ? 

Thankyou .

You say "it does get better" 

I'm sorry but this is not the case for everyone. 

I dont have time to read the whole thing, though I'm sure it's a great post. 

I've been over 1 week completely clean it is been really hell likely one of the toughest experiences of my life.... 

Today is likely the best day I've had, still challenging although will just keep on keeping on..

Things are shure to keep improving.

Im safe now. thank you for your support everyone and 1000 pardons to possibly freak some of you out with my crisis.

Thanks again, peace and blessings to all.

Thankyou friend. Toughing this one out.. 

It's wrong what has happened to me.

I'm going completely out of my brain.

I am so fucking sick

 Feels like im dying 

Fucking arsewholes left me cold turkey

Waiting until 4 am 

Going home in taxi

If I die I die 

Thanks mate will remain strong as steel absolutely will get through this better times definitely coming.

Thanks man 

I was actually discharged after 4 days..

Doctors he was still in the dark and could not prescribe, they said they will refer me to a treating psychiatrist here @ the hospital tho that never happened.

Ended up going back to my GP for him to prescribe to get me through although he would not. I was quiet distressed / agitated / exhausted and therefore he called an ambulance.

Now I'm back up here again in hospital this is f****** insane.

The system is so broken what the f*** to do I cannot believe this.

Thank you friend

I'm still in hospital they are holding me over with diazepam 10 milligrams usually every 5 hours or so as well as endone for the pain. 

Today which is the third day I'm likely feeling the worst.

Main symptoms are hot and cold shaking, psychotic hallucinations, insomnia, delirium, noisia panic etc and extremely heightened hppd and Dp etc my legs really hurt and my head really hurts. Confusion etc 

Anyhow I'm blessed to be living in Australia as they're taking very good care of me at this Hospital.

The team of doctors are doing their best to decide the plan of action of what to do next hopefully I will be discharged today.

Though it's been extremely frustrating as cannot get in touch with Professor McConnell who can salts from this hospital as he is currently on leave. If we were able to contact him like we would have this sorted in an instant. 

Anyhow will keep on keeping on! 

Doctors have expressed to me this morning that I cannot just stop taking Klonapin  abruptly. 

Will work on doing a medically supervised gradual taper to a lower dose that doesn't mess so much. 

Thank you for your care and empathy understanding and means a lot to me to have you checking up on me etc 

Many thanks again will keep on keeping on staying strong and will get through this. 

I hope you are well and have a great start to your week!!! 

Thankyou

B

.

Thankyou I will be staying in hospital over the weekend 

.

Thankyou brother 

It's has been fucking absolutel torture. 

Like insane 

They are touring me like fuck knows what.. 

Having hppd is torture enough itself then this... 

I just tried to suffocate myself. 

It's total madness dekerium and have been having mini seizures and chucking my guts up. Shaking / hot cold etc etc DP beyond description.

Something needs to happen quickly. 

Thankyou again

Supremely fucked up 

Will be back in hospital thisevening 

Just takes the edge off not permanent

Ask Soon as come off massively heightened symptoms 

Been on for a year and a half 

6 mils approx 4 months 

I really need to get some help with supervised gradual taper. 

Thankyou