Kellen

I saw dark knight rises before Bronson but yeah he was so menacing its no wonder Christopher Nolan cast him. Also Tom hardy was a crack head in real life for many years. I really respect the guy for turning his life around. That's why he can play such intense characters with conviction. He's brilliant.

Jon dies at the end was fun. Orange is the new black on Netflix is a great show. A couple funny sitcoms Inbetweeners IT crowd Both British and very funny A few move I watched lately A field in England - cool flick about 3 17th century army deserters who meet an alchemist who's trying to find a sorcerer type dude. Very weird and well acted. The whole move takes place in, you guessed it, a Feild. and there is an insane shroom sequence that I had to look away from a couple times but its such an excellent unique movie Sightseers - a dry black comedy about mundane murder. Same guy who directed the above movie Bronson - semi actual account of the life of Charles Bronson. Not the actor but the notorious criminal from the uk. Deemed England's most violent inmate. Really beautifully shot by the same guy who directed drive. Tom hardy( bane from batman) is amazing in this roll

I'm really scared about asking colanzepam. It really messed up a buddy of mine What is th best way to treat dpdr? I have a drs appt Monday and need a game plan. I can deal with the visual shit. My core issue is dpdr. Any suggestion?

I'm thinking of trying Prozac and colanzepam. Is that a good idea?

1. Smoked pot from ages 15 to 19 daily. Binge drinking and binge cocaine use from 17 to 27. Shrooms twice. Salvia once. MDMA a handful of times. Ketamine about 10 to 15 times. 2. I've had hppd in some form for over 10 years now. Past few years really badly. Especially the dp/dr. it wasn't until a couple months ago that I even know hppd dpdr existed. 3. My second shroom trip opened the flood gates. 4. Visual snow, light trails, auras, after images, clouds, things seem like their moving in pixelated patterns if I keep my eyes open too long 5. Head pressure, derealization, depersonalization, pressure on eyes, depression, tinnitus that can get really loud, racing thoughts I'm not in control of, Panic, sometimes it feels like someone punches me in the gut and my tinnitus and visual snow increase severely, insomnia ,I can not sleep without immovane, insane dreams that are hard to shake, body aches, digestive problems, bad memory, heavy brain fog, dizziness, my legs feel like jelly when I walk sometimes. Violent and demented thoughts. And other fun things... 6. No. I did a lot of blow, a lot. And drank even more. But it wasn't as flared up as it is now. I'm off all drugs for over a year, no booze for 3 months, quit cigs, quit caffeine 7. For me right now th dp/dr is the main issue. I literally feel out of my mind 99% of the time and so drowsy and foggy. Everything looks weird to me. Ad I get these attacks that I wldnt even call panic attacks. It's like someone slips me a hit of aid and everything gets turned up to 11. To the point where I'm screaming. Also the racing thoughts are a huge issue. At any given time its like someone is flipping tv channels in my head. So noisy. So fr me there isn't a baseline because it hasn't always been THIS bad. 8. I don't know 9. Yes they seem to get worse on their own regardless of what I do 10. Not sure 11. Stress, weather, being around certain people, being in drs offices, when I'm alone 12. I've lived with this for so long that I know there have been times when it wasn't this bad. But in this fog it's seems like I've been this way forever. I'm currently on zero meds except immovaine. It's so raw right now but I hope it will get better.

It's my girlfriends birthday and we went to see pacific rim In IMAX 3d. There is a reason I have avoided 3d IMAX movies in the past. I didn't think my brain could handle it. I saw stark trek a few weeks ago which was my first time seeing a movie like this. I was fine. But today holy crap. I had to leave after about 15 mins. I couldn't even look at the screen. I had such severe vertigo from these computer generated giant monsters and giant warehouses with giant robots. I almost fell over as I walked out of the theatre. Then while waiting for her in the lobby they had the ad for the movie on repeat with the noise from the robots rattling my brain every 30 seconds. And as ridiculous as it sounds I had a general fear that something was going to rip the roof off the theatre and I could vividly see it happening. Really I still feel so twisted and its been about 5 hrs. My poor gf. I don't know how much longer she can tolerate this. Anyway this was just my experience and I wanted to share. Anyone have a similar experience?

http://youtu.be/u7lCgQ7Bx2s All songs off records I bought today. Might be a little harsh for most people

Were you smoking cigarettes or pot? (Edit: I read that It was pot) I would hate to give up smokes right now. But if it helps with dp/dr I will. Buying St. John's wart tomorrow The foggy heavy head pressure is all too real right now. I need to get out if this

Yes I often stumble over words or feel I have nothing to say at all.

Thanks Odisa I really want to stay drug free. But if in a month or so I see no improvement I may get a script. Thank you for your suggestions. And I will make sure to let my dr know about hppd. Or maybe get him to refer me to someone who does Stay in touch Also does anyone else feel that weather has an effect on hppd? I know it's sounds nuts but when it's storming out I feel even worse. Like more pressure in my head and worse visual snow

Here's country teasers covering "these things shall pass" But he incorporates feedback that mimics tinnitus Sly devil.

Hey bobby thanks for sharing I know EXACTLY how you feel. My dp/dr is pretty awful. It's like bad days then nightmare days. And when the visual snow and tinnitus are popping off too it can make for a horrid experience. I've been put on suicide watch after one of my episodes. in a room with a bed with straps on it. Scary shit. I was never strapped down but just realizing I needed to be in that room freaked me out. But everything kinda does you know. I will say this to you. I have had this for over ten years. And it's hasn't been all bad. I have had some good times. And at times I never even noticed the symptoms . I functioned just like I used to. The symptoms were there but at such a minimal level i could deal with it.You stand a good chance of recovering from this. I was using cocaine for many years and drank like a fish too even tho I had hppd.. Now I am drug.booze and Med free except immovane, and the hppd is hitting me really hard right now. I have nothing to mask it. I think the only way to beat this is by living well.exercize, meditation, routine, no drugs,Little to no booze and staying busy. Right now all that sounds next to impossible. As hppd is hell in the mind. Stay strong bobby. I know you got this. You even said you had made some minor improvements. Knowing how bad it can get dont take that lightly. Any improvement is huge. An indicator that little by little, you can beat this. Best of luck man

I've been on immovaine for 7 years. If I don't take it the racing thoughts, snowy vision and tinitus run amok and I see zero sleep. Absolutely none. It's like my body is tired, my brain is tired but there's is one part of my brain on auto pilot, showing me random images or playing parts of songs that will not shut off. And it's terrifying and annoying. I recently got off Effexor and colanzopam. I want off this shit too. My head already feels medicated and heavy from the hppd. Any recommendations for getting off this drug? Sould I take a benzo before bed? It's weird because the only time I feel somewhat normal is after I've taken it at night. That little blue pill is like my reward for makinging it through another day. But my body is telling me to get off it Please share your experience with this drug -kellen

I was prescribed Effexor to battle anxiety. Although it was the hppd all along. She didn't know what I had so she wrote me a script. I was on it for 7 years. I just got off it fully a week ago. Took a month to taper off . You know what happens if you miss a dose. Compared to other experiences I've read mine was actually not as bad. But I'm still feeling the withdrawal effects. Effexor is an old drug. There are much better/ newer drugs to be on. Effexor gave me insane dreams and lightning flashes inmybrain. And at this stage I can't tell what was the Effexor and what was the hppd. The hppd has always been the root of my issues and Effexor did nothing to help me as far as I know. Just gave me weird side effects and mood swings. But please don't freak yourself out with what you read online about the withdrawal. Mine wasn't nearly as bad as some people described. But it was and is still awful. If you do decide to come off get some cipralex to help curb the withdrawal.helped me immensely.

I know exactly how you feel. I Have the heavy head feeling often. You may be experiencing some depersonalization/ detachment. I would stop smoking pot immediately. The last time I smoked I was bugging out. It increased my hppd severely and I didn't sleep for two days even on my sleep meds. You may not have hppd. You could jut be experincing awful symptoms from the weed. I knowi can not smoke pot. Although so many people can it messes with me so I avoid it. Good chance your symptoms will taper off after you quit pot. Give it a try. Hope this helps Kellen

Heres my story I'm 28 years old. I currently live in London Ontario Canada. And HPPD sucks. As far back as I came remember I've had feelings on anxiety/detachment. Even as a kid. I've always been mentally fragile even if that isn't the persona I always put forward. I dabbled with pot when i was about 14. A little drinking too. Started smoking pot regularly when I was 15/16. Drinking increased too. One night a buddy of mine came over with half a garbage bag full of magic mushrooms. He was owed some money and was paid with this shroom harvest. He dumped a huge pile on the table and told me to have as much as I want. I had done a small bit once before but this time I scooped two handfuls and ate them down. My life has never been the same since. After a horrible trip where I contemplated cutting my eyes out I was horrified to find I was still tripping days after. I was having intense visuals all the time. Everything I looked at in my direct view was okay. But at the sides of my eyes everything was moving and was pixelated. I had to drop out of school, my mom had to move back in with my dad. Numerous hospital visits, ct scans showed nothing.i thought i had ruined my life. On top of the visuals I was having insane racing thoughts I could not control. Ringing in the ears, especially the right ear and was a knotted ball of panic. By some miracle the symptoms taperd off after after about six months but never fully went away. It didn't come back until 2004 when I was about about 21 (sorry I'm bad with dates and times) I was using cocaine pretty regularly and after one binge it hit me while I was doing laundry. Everything got brighter and I had a massive panic attack. Mixed with intense racing thoughts that were more like visuals actually. Like I was watching someone flip tv channels in my mind and I had no control over what I saw. After a few doctor visits I was prescribed Effexor and immovane. To this day I can not sleep without immovaine. But I digress. I went to Florida with my grandma for a vacation the whole time was a nightmare in my mind. I stayed sober for a month or two but started drinking and doing blow again like an idiot. I have addiction problems and they over powered the mental anguish I was in. Its essentially been like that until now. I have been off blow for over a year now and quit drinking 2 months ago. I am also off work. I work in a hospital department cleaning instruments and autoclaving them. The lights are so intense it gives me headaches and I was/am having severe dispersonalization . Everything seems unreal. Like an alien in a human body. Sometimes I feel like im in a dream. Well nightmare I guess. Like I'm not in reality. And all that is mixed with the snowy vision, ringing in the ears, light stains, light trails, auras, uncontrollable racing thoughts, insomnia, panic. Some days I can't even deal with it. It hits me so hard and I feel SO awful I want to die. I was put in psyche ward not too long ago for one really bad episode. Not to say I haven't had some good days but overall my quality of life is in the shitter. But now there is a name to the beast. Hppd. And that I a huge step for me. I finally feel validated. No I am not crazy. I have this awful thing called hppd. And I can take the right steps to make my life better. I am so relieved to see I'm not the only one who has this. As much as I wish none of you we're suffering from this. I'm just happy to know I'm finally not alone. Are all the symptoms I described shared by everyone? I'm really looking for any input or advice I can get Are there ways of lessening the symptoms? All the best in our struggles and know I'm fighting the good fight too. Kellen Ps. I quit Effexor. Stay off that drug if you can. Awful awful drug.

Thanks Odisa I still can't believe this is a medical condition and I'm not the only one. Everyone I've described my symptoms to never knew what I was talking about. Not one dr I saw has even heard of this. And I've been like this for over a decade. if there is no cure or treatment I'm just glad to have found people who know what I'm going through. Please stay in touch Kellen

Well. Where to start.... When it was 16 I had a magic mushroom trip that landed me in the hospital. It warped my young mind. Now I'm 28 and hppd is an all to real hell that I have been dealing with ever since that fateful night. It wasn't until an hour ago that I even heard of hppd. Or snowy vision,. Of all the times I've been to the emergency room and doctors offices NOT ONE OF THEM knew what's was talking about. I thought I was mental. Well I guess I kinda am. You are all now my brothers and sisters. It is such a relief to know I'm not suffering alone. So many years of not knowing answers. Just had to type the right things into google. I'm somewhat at ease. It's 5 am. Going to attempt to sleep again. Seriously I can't believe this is a real medical condition and not my personal hell. It's our hell. Lets make the best of it. I will be contributing to the board often and look forward to chatting with you all Kellen