morbide

I've also noticed that certain music makes me feel kinda bad, especially trance since i pumped that during my hppd-trip...

I am sure Jay is well. He seems to be a really strong person.

And yes. I find him kind of as a hero myself... He is my hope for a happy life even tho I suffer from this shit. <:

You guys are my hope too.. So.. get well and cured soon XD

I'm soon there, i hope.

My mother suggested for me to go to the doctor, so we can get some medication that might help against DPDR..

I am so scared. What have I done to my life? Why have I done this to myself... I ruined my life.

When i think my life is ruined, i just look at jay1 here on the forum. He had/has terrible hppd and he has started his own businesses, he's got a wife and a stable work, he is my role model! . Everything is possible, hppd doesn't control you, you do.

It's weird that you have crazy dreams, sure i dream alot post-hppd but my dreams are awesome every night

I had it constantly for a few weeks but when i stopped thinking about it it went away and i've been free from it ever since. Still have problems concentrating though.

I became free from dp/dr and brainfog a couple of months ago but when that left me i only focus on the visuals. I went to a workinterview today and the room was bright white and that made the snow, static and afterimages really crazy.

I think we all connect everyday-feelings to anxiety, when i have eaten i feel stuffed and i feel kinda sick in my stomach and then i instantly think it'sanxiety. Just relax.

Does your friends and everyone know about your condition? o;

(Question to everyone)

Friends and family, friends know it's drugrelated, told parents it might be becouse of a stressful period in my life that occured when i really got hppd. (Also i tell them there are many people with it and i refered them to thosewithvisualsnow.yuku.com becouse the people there seem to have the exact same visuals and dp/dr, most of them also got it during a stressful period of time.)

I've also told my parents that if this doesn't pass in years they better follow me to the doctor and force them to give me keppra or whatever.

Morbide, gief your msn

Don't has, add my facebook, it's in my signature

Looking at computer monitors sucks xD You stare at it for hours. Then look at a wall and kaboom.. A black sqare appears.

From the looks of it, you don't have hppd, maybe panic syndrome or GAD (general anxiety disorder) as they can be triggered by drugs. Just go easy on the drugs and mybe see a shrink if this doesn't go away

Morbide, do you have afterimages?

Yes and afterimages are imo my worst symtom atm, if i read something on a paper the text is still there if i look on a wall and it's there for about 5 minutes. I accidentally looked at the sun today (big nono for me) and i had a black dot in my vision for 30 minutes...

I'm glad text doesn't move for me, i love to read

Edit: double post.

And do any of you experience that the walls and furniture are moving when its dark?

Like.. If you are looking at the corner of a wall, it is moving. It is like looking through a fire.

If you get how I mean..

I think that it is because of the statics. The dots are moving and it maybe makes it look like the walls are moving too.

I get that 24/7, when i stare at my bathroom carpet e.g it moves and warps like hell, same with the ground outside but for as long as peoples faces keep intact i'm relaxed

Alcohol makes my visuals worse while i'm drunk but i have no anxiety, the day after my anxiety is pretty high but visuals are ok. And since i don't have dp or dr i don't know how alcohol affects it but there is a thread about alcohols effects already

Yea atarax (hydroxyzine) it's an anthihistamine and it should be very easy to get

Same here, if not for the support from members on this site i would've gone to a mental hospital and forced them to take me in.

I have said this a few times but you should really go to the doctors and ask for a medecine for your anxiety, not benzos though!

This is really interesting Nepu, i love that you are putting in such effort in researching alternative theories!

It would be awesome if Kozin could write his opinions of different theories

Centralstimulants can aggrevate symtoms, if you don't really need ritalin then lay it off :/

Have the site been down? ;o

Haven't bought the magnedium or that stuff. Bought something called "Ginkgo".. It is good for the brain and helps you concentrate better. Didn't made any difference to the hppd or dpdr... I think. But now I can actually think about other stuff. And forget about my disorders for an hour.. And my mind can rest.

Eh... Hmm... I went into one week depression earlier.. It sucked. My brain was so.. Overloaded. Wanted to die. For real. Was crying every day, was so tired of "life". It wasn't life... I just.. Existed, but I didn't live.

Now I can just.. Rest a bit. It feels good.

Was in the woods last week, freaked out so much. Everything eas so 2D and flat. Like a popup book.

Don't like being in the woods. The trees scare me.

Just stay strong Passion, do things you have passion for! (Briljerar med svensk dryg humor :3) I am also feeling really depressed now and then, but for that i'm going through kbt which really helps! You should really see a shrink (If you haven't done that already) and just get it all out, they might not understand hppd but they do understand deppression and anxiety.

And the 2D part i can really relate to, i had that a while back but i kept my self really occupied with school and friends and all of a sudden it went away. I think it (depersonalisation) has a REALLY strong connection to anxiety. Right now i have almost no anxiety at all and my visuals are very mild, i feel like i don't have hppd but i do.

You still haven't had hppd for quite a time and when i had had it for as long as you have now it was just horrible, it really eases up fast and you will soon experience a habitable bassline of symtoms

Awesome! Doing things you enjoy really eases hppd!

I hope the best for you zukov, good luck!

Thanks for your reply!

I mean, once my brain has "healed" up, could I not do MDMA/LSD maybe once or twice a year responsibly i.e. not overdosing and pre-loading/post-loading without my HPPD coming back? Or is my brain now forever wired to trigger the HPPD every time I do hallucinogens?

I don't think I'll quit smoking weed right now because it helps me remain cheery and positive (I otherwise tend to feel down as the day goes by) and it doesn't give me panic/anxiety/paranoia symptoms badly like it did not long after my serotonin syndrome.

Your brain won't heal up if you keep smoking dank and/or doing hard drugs like molly or acid. As Boogres said, if you wan't to keep having these symtoms go ahead. I don't want to sound like a preppy faggot but heed my warnings, it's not worth the trip.

How're you doing passion? Lever du