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I seem to stay just a few inches away from the edge of insanity... I can imagine that it wouldn't take very much to push me over that level, but so far, so good. Being able to work from home has really helped, as has having Clonazepam on hand for events that would really trip me out. Good, patient friends and family too. 

Keep on fighting.

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  • 1 month later...

I've been under alot of stress and really loosing my shi*. Like how is a person supposed to deal with vivid chronic, intense, constant open n closed eye hallucinations constantly. Like there is no "off button" wtf ... Like after 30 years being strong as all fuc* this is where suicidal ideation comes in just for some fuckin* relief. Like no shi* it's some fuckin* cruel, brutal and torturous shi* that most people could never comprehend in their widest. 

Only reason why in still here physically is because I love my parents too much and could not inflict the pain on them. 

Fuc* this hppd bullsii* why isn't more being done ? 

Just venting... Thankyou. 

Like each evening I'm engulfed in bizarre psychedelic realms.. I have to sleep with a light on.

I mean how is it possible. I was hospitalised twice last year and I keep on getting advice to present at emergency care.

Acute care team are ignorant as F and don't know anything about the condition. 

No one knows anything about the condition.

Just talked to your psychologist every second week about self-care techniques and discuss symptomology yeah right what does that do absolutely nothing.

Yeah and take this pill as a bandaid only, might take the edge off but then suffer the side effects as well as ongoing physical dependence.

It's tough times tho will get thou it.

Will keep fighting. 

I'm usually optimistic and positive thank you for listening to my is slightly bitchy and coming from a place of sheer frustration post that is partially a call for help.

Thank you all these cool and supportive hppders out there. I know we have been in this battle a freaking long time, ever since the storm loaded days... 

Who would have thought, decades later here we are......







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